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TO: All Department Heads FROM: Personnel Department SUBJ: New Employee Evaluation Forms

NAME: DATE:_ JOB TITLE:_ DATE HIRED:_ DEPARTMENT: SUPERVISOR:_ ACCURACY DOES SHITTY WORK AND CONSTANTLY FUCKS UP DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF OUTPUT IS RIGHT OR WRONG

        __PRETTY GOOD, ONLY AN OCCASIONAL SCREW-UP
        __DOES GOOD WORK IF NOT PRE-OCCUPIED WITH BROADS/STUDS

RATE OF DOESN'T DO A FUCKING THING ALL DAY LONG WORK WORKS ONLY IF KICKED IN THE ASS VERY OFTEN

        __DOES A LOT OF WORK AT REVIEW TIME
        __GOES LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH IF HE THINKS HE'LL GET A RAISE
        __FASTEST MOTHER-FUCKER IN THE WEST

DEPENDABILITY

        __COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT MOTHER-HUMPING JERK
        __NEEDS FREQUENT THREATS AND ASS CHEWINGS
        __CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IF SEX URGE IS SATISFIED
        __USUALLY DEPENDABLE AT SALARY REVIEW TIME
        __REALLY A RELIABLE COCK-SUCKER

KNOWLEDGE STUPID BASTARD, DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM FIRST BASE KNOWS JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS

        __ADEQUATE BRAIN POWER, BUT DOESN'T USE IT
        __KNOWS MOST PHASES OF THE JOB
        __SON-OF-A-BITCH REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT

COOPERATION

        __PISS POOR ATTITUDE, THINKS HE IS BEING SHIT ON
        __OFTEN PISSES OFF CO-WORKERS
        __COOPERATIVE ONLY IF ASS IS KISSED FREQUENTLY
        __BROWN NOSER FIRST CLASS
        __COOPERATIVE IF PAID ENOUGH

ORDERLINESS

        __SLOPPY, DIRTY, FILTHY BASTARD-WORSE THAN OSCAR
        __PISSES IN ASH TRYS, SHITS IN THE CORNER
        __SOMETIMES EMPTIES ASH TRAYS AND HITS THE WASTBASKET
        __NEAT AND ORDERLY
        __NEATER THAN FELIX

_ HANDLING CONSTANTLY PISSES OFF THE TROOPS AND FREQUENTLY GETS THE FINGER DEVELOPINGOCCASIONALLY GETS TOLD TO GET FUCKED PEOPLE ONLY THE JANITORS OBEY HIM

        __CARRIES HATCHET AND GETS EXCELLENT RESULTS

_ _ EMPLOYEE'S SIGNATURE SUPERVISOR'S SIGNATURE