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Hello, there! This is a collection of strange and useless magic items that I've created over this semester during Julie's and Neveln's classes (boy the things you do when you're bored). The number(s) to the left of the magic item is the result of a 1d100 roll if you chose to roll randomly (of course there would be absolutely no reason to do this; the range is just to give you a feel of the frequency of the item). Oh, well, extract it, delete it, forward it to your enemies, or send me hate mail in return; it's yours now. Enjoy!

(00-03) POTION OF CRYSTAL SPITTLE– If drank the imbiber's saliva turns into

a glass-like substance that if spit can be used as a breath weapon that
is 5' wide by 10' long and causes 3d6+3 points of damage (a successful
saving throw versus breath weapon indicates half damage). This "weapon"
may be used once per 3 rounds (most of the time the user is snorting up
nice juicy loogies) and the potion wears off after 30 rounds. The spit
in no way injures the imbiber.

(04-05) VAX VT 101 MONITOR– This strange item appears as two boxes, one emit-

ting white lights and the other is bumpy with letters scribed on it. If
any of the keys are pressed the user must roll 1d6 to see the effects:
1= Crash! The user must immediately make an intelligence check or have
   a headache for 3d8 rounds cursing about why the item doesn't work.
2= Error in Programming Logic. The user must make a 1/2 intelligence
   check or believe he has the knowledge to cast the "infinate" spell.
   He will believe this so much that he will attempt to get to a town in
   hopes of convincing everyone of his findings. If he "casts" his spell
   obviously nothing happens making him look like a dabbling dunderhead.
3= Lab Rat. The user must make a saving throw versus Petrification or
   become convinced that this item is great and he dedicates hours on
   end to it, typing on those clicking lettered bumps on the smaller 
   box. Every hour spent on the VT 101 he gets to roll 1d6 again.
4= Learns Fortran. The programmer may use the item as a calculator, and
   can amaze a lot of people. Sages will pay highly to use his electric
   knowledge device.
5= Hacks into the System. The user learns how to give himself privaleges
   and can modify the screens of every other VT 101 in existance on the
   planet (if there is any). He can even log others out! (anyone else
   using a VT 101 gets a 1 effect above if logged out)
6= Computer Genius. The user is able to calculate exact components of
   spells, creatures, etc. The effects of this is up to the DM.

(06-08) CHARISMA BOW– This pink glowing bow, if shot, will create the image of

the user in front of the target when it hits, having this effect:
Cha below 4: weapon inflicts +9 damage, and the victim is effected by a
	symbol of fear (see Player's Handbook)
Cha 4-5: weapon inflicts +4 damage,and the victim is commanded (as per
	spell) to hide from the attacker.
Cha 6-8: weapon inflicts +1 damage.
Cha 9-15: weapon inflicts normal damage.
Cha 16-17: The user must save versus spell or be stunned for 1d4 rounds.
Cha above 17: The user must save versus spell or be charmed by the next
	creature it sees.

(09-11) BLOWGUN OF PAINT BALLS– This blowgun cannot be loaded with darts.

Instead it is already loaded with 4d4 specially prepared magic paint
balls which splat upon the opponent, making him glow greatly as if a
faerie fire spell had been cast upon him (+2 to hit on later attacks).
The color is determined randomly each time the blowgun is used (1d10):
1= hot pink		6= invisibility(cursed)-opponent is invisible!
2= fluorescent orange	7= green(stink paint)-opponent gags for 1d6 r.
3= glowing white,as	8= brown(sticky shit)-opponent is sticky to
   if light spell.	   everything for 1d12 r.
4= baby blue		9= yellow-opponent is covered with greek fire.
5= bright purple	0= bullseye(white,red,blue)- +4 to hit.
Unless noted all effects last for 1d4 rounds. The blowgun becomes non-
magical after all of its paint balls are used up.

(12) LONG SWORD+INFINITY– This weapon has +7 to hit and will instantly send

any mortal or non-DM-special creature immediately to negative infinity
hit points (killing it) on a single hit. On a unadjusted roll of 1 to
hit the sword fumbles killing the user in a like manner. If used against
a creature with a Stoneskin spell the spell is disrupted causing no 
damage and the sword expoles, causing 8d8 points of damage to all within
30' of the wielder and the sword is thereafter a Long Sword+7.

(13-14) TWO-HANDED SCISSORS+1– This large (6' long) pair of scissors does 3d4+1

/3d8+1 points of damage if hit. On a roll of 2 above the number needed 
to hit the scissors disarm the opponent and on a roll of 6 above the 
number needed to hit it strikes the victim's neck which may have effects
as decided by the DM.

(15-17) MAGGOT DAGGER– This -2 dagger (which is not cursed,it simply is -2 to

hit and damage) has the following functions, all of which require the
knowledge of the dagger's command words:
1.Can turn blade into the front half of a large maggot.This maggot has
  6 hp,AC 6 and the dagger turns to stone if it is killed.The maggot can
  be commanded to spit a wad of pus out 10' making everyone in the area
  make saving throws versus poison or be nauseated for 1d6 rounds.
2.Stinking Cloud 30' radius 3 times per day.
3.Locate Trash 240' radius,gives percentage of decomposed matter.
4.Putrefy Food & Drink by touch and command word.
5.If used to backstab and command word is uttered a rot grub is injected
  into the victim. (see Monstrous Compendium)
6.Alter appearance to be a nondescript bum,+/- 25% height,weight,age.
  No more than 300 lbs. of equipment can be hidden to be trash.

(18) HIRES SWORD– Leaves a foam on the opponent's face and gives him a

creamy great taste.

(19-21) DART OF DIMENSIONAL DOOM– When thrown and hits the dart teleports in

front of the target 3" and hits again. It will continue to do this until
it runs out of momentum,which is 1 hit per Str point of thrower.

(22) BOOK OF NOTES (NOTEBOOK)– This rather ruffled book contains several

dozen unrelated pages that a mage wrote during his free time. Each note-
book contains (2d4)*12 pages of notes. Every 1d12 pages has a subject,
roll 1d20 to determine:
 1=recipe of some strange food (usually disgusting)
 2=ingrediants to a strange potion (magic missile,hiccupping,color
   changing,Intelligence,hardskin [-1 AC],teeth cleaning,etc.)
 3=mathematical/physical/alchemist formulas (to no end)
 4=philosophical/social outlook works
 5=pages from a diary that was started but not ended
 6=doodling,3-D pictures of castles,trees (may be magical)
 7=spell of levels 1d4+4,symbols only (not magical),often incorrect in
   spell components or basic idea (coldball,Prismatic Familiar,etc.)
 8=Papers&Paychecks (P&P) character sheet,usually disgustingly powerful
 9=notes on spells,spell component shopping list
10=architechure of a small house/tower,usually intricate and well done
11=rules to a game of the mage's creation,usually indecipherable
12=other plane studies,usually fallacious (anti-astral plane,Elemental
   Plane of Prof.Felters,the way outer planes,etc.)
13=minor curse cast on pages as a test trap (itching,sickness,etc.)
14=jokes scribbled down,usually inside jokes or above reader's head
15=burnt/crumbled/smeared/was wet pages,not readable except remote areas
16=cantrip,usually unique (draw,pick nose,fart,floating cp,create ice
   cube,turn page,glow,cause fever,micro missile,etc.)
17=1st level spell idea,unique,usually fails if cast (magic missile II,
   invisible mouse,teleport with lots of errors,create temporary silver,
   illusionary cure light wounds,firepoof,Very Limited Wish,etc.)
18=map of an area or dungeon (usually cleared out or not there)
19=minor detail of sage knowledge (see Dungeon Master's Guide)
20=DM special-usually something extremely interesting or rare concept
   (tales of great treasure,ways to stop aging,defenses of some country
   and how to defeat it,geography of some location in the outer planes,
   information on how to become a lich/shade/holy spirit,ignorant or
   tricky innovations of spells such as how to intensify lightening bolt
   so when it hits it doesn't damage the target but makes it magnetic or
   how to reverse gust of wind so it can take all the air out of a room,
   command words of a magic item,weaknesses of monsters,etc.)

(23-24) BOOK OF BLASPHEMOS BLABBERING– If read by anyone besides a cleric the

reader simply curses a bit and the book disappears. If read by a cleric

A he starts cursing at his god in hostile tones. If he makes a divine

intervention check his god appears and blasts him for his disbelief in
his diety,if he missed it he does not gain any more spells until a
Atonement spell is cast upon him. On a roll of 01 on the divine roll
the diety's enemy god offers the cleric to follow his belief instead and
the cleric has a 30% chance of automatically agreeing.

(25-27) GIRDLE OF GARGANTUAN GONADS– If worn by a male each of the user's

gonads grow to 2' in diameter. Movement rate is at half normal and 50%
of all hits strike the user's gonads making him stunned for 1 round per
point of damage. If 20 points are done to a single gonad it bursts 
making the user save vs. petrification or die. The item cannot be 
removed until a remove curse is cast upon the user.

(28-29) PERIAPT OF PENIS PERMUTATION– If used by a male the user's penis

transforms into one of the following (roll 1d8):
Roll	Penis		Gonads		Special
1	Sledgehammer	Anvils		Makes loud sound when walking
2	Huge (4'+)	female heads	Heads suck on penis,user stunned
3	Banana		Grapes		Rots in 1d4 weeks
4	Thread		Spools		If thread breaks,guess what!
5	Marshmallows	Shurikens	1% per round of shredding penis
6	Long Sword	Pommel		May be used to attack @ -2
7	Gonad		Penises		Hmm...
8	Wood		Brass		Look out for Warp Wood spells!
This magic item is cursed and cannot be removed without a remove curse.

(30-32) BACKPACK OF FUSING– This eerie backpack fuses itself to the user's

back, making it count as no bulk and no weight. It can hold as much
as the user weighs and is accessed by reaching behind and into the
user's back (this is difficult when wearing armor). Only the user may
reach into himself in this way. If overloaded things will start to poke
out of the user's body at odd angles causing damage depending on the
item(s) involved. If a bag of holding or a portable hole is placed 
inside the backpack it explodes,killing the user (no save but MR).
The backpack may be taken off by reaching inside and sort of pulling it
inside out, making it a normal backpack which grows to hold all the 
things contained in it.

(33-35) HEARING AID– This magical ear plug will give excellent (240' Detect

Noise) hearing for 1d6+6 hours. However after this time for 1d4+4 hours
the user cannot hear at all and the user says "Ey?" and holds his hand
to his ear if spoken to. The curse may be removed by a Cure Deafness
or a Remove Curse spell.

(36-37) EARPLUG OF PROJECTILE WAX– This magical ear plug,if commanded,will

shoot a 30' long by 10' wide cone of disgusting yellow and black wax to
the user's side. All in the area of effect must save vs. breath weapon
or be stuck and nauseated for 1d6+2 rounds. The earplug functions 
normally once per day per ear but if used more than that part of the
user's inner ear comes out with it giving him permanent deafness in
that ear.

(38) EARPLUG OF BORING– This earplug will bore into the user's skull and

kill him in 1d12+6 rounds unless a remove curse,cure disease,or heal
spell is cast on him. After boring through the user's brain several 
times it opens releasing a larva which takes over the body as a zombie.

(39-42) EYEDROPS OF X-RAY VISION– This small bottle contains a liquid that if

applied to the eyes gives X-ray vision (as per the ring) for 1d8 turns.

(43-45) EYEDROPS OF FUNKY HALLUCINATIONS– This small bottle contains a liquid

that if applied to the eyes creates illusionary objects and creatures.
In noncombat situations this is particularly funny and is too unreal-
istic to be believed. In combat situations the user suffers -3 to hit.
The effects last until the user's eyes are washed out.

(46-47) EYEDROPS OF EYEDROPS– This small bottle contains a liquid that if

applied to the eyes makes them water profusely creating 1 gallon of 
tears per round for 1d4+4 rounds. If drank the imbiber feels sick for
1d6 turns. The user cannot cry for 3 days after one use.

(48) EYEDROPS OF EYE REMOVAL– This small bottle contains a liquid that if

applied to the eyes it removes them! The effects are permanent until
a cure blindness or a regeneration effect or spell is cast.

(49-50) SvD (SorD) SWORD– The user must roll to hit twice each attack:

Sex: Roll to hit at +3		Death: Roll to hit at -3
Sex and Death: Opponent must save vs. spell or die of ectasy.
Sex and Not Death: Opponent must make Con check or fall exhausted. If
	opponent makes his check it is blessed for 1d6 rounds.
Not Sex and Death: Opponent must save vs. spell or depressed 2d6 turns 
	and dies at the end of this period.
Not Sex and Not Death: The SvD Sword misses.
The sword does not effect creatures who have no sex (such as golems)
or cannot or is dead (such as undead). The sword does no damage.

(51-52) S&D (SandD) SWORD– The user must roll to hit twice for each attack:

Slice: Roll to hit at +1	Dice: Roll to hit at -1
Slice and Dice: Opponent must save vs. spell or turn into a bloody pulp
	(killing him). If save is successful takes double damage.
Not Slice and Dice: Opponent must save vs. spell or turn into small 1"
	cubes. If save is successful no damage.
Slice and Not Dice: Opponent must save vs. spell or turn into thin 1"
	wide stips. If save is successful no damage.
Not Slice and Not Dice: The SandD Sword misses.
This spell does not effect creatures who would be unharmed by being 
sliced or diced (jellies,water weirds,etc.).

(53-54) S)D (SthenD) SWORD– "A mothers against teen suicide message":

Suicide: Roll to hit at -2	Die: Roll to hit at +2
If you commit suicide you die (Suicide and Die): Opponent must save vs.
	spell or commit suicide next round and die.
If you don't commit suicide you die (Not Suicide and Die): Weapon does
	normal damage for its weapon type.
If you commit suicide you don't die (Suicide and Not Die): Opponent
	becomes immortal and both players go into a rift to a negative
	logic barrier on the prime material plane, both die (the
	immortal was killed on his home plane).
If you don't commit suicide you don't die (Not Suicide and Not Die):
	Opponent learns an important lesson of life, +1 Wisdom.
Again, opponents not effected by Suicide or Death for some strange
reason are not effected by this sword.

(55-56) S=D (SequivalentD) SWORD– "A say no to drugs weapon":

Shit: Roll to hit at +4		Drugs: Roll to hit at -4
Drugs are equivalent to Shit (Shit and Drugs): Opponent must save vs.
	spell or become a drugged moron and shit out his insides.
Shit,no Drugs: Opponent is commanded to shit (as per spell),has gas,
	pains,and hemorroids for 1d6 days.
Drugs,no Shit: Opponent becomes dizzy and sees an illusion of strange
	objects,dungeon walls crawl,make 1/2 Int and 1/2 Wis checks or
	the opponent becomes insane.
No Drugs and No Shit: The weapon has no effect.
As always, this weapon has no effect on creatures who are immune to
drugs or cannot shit.

(57-59) DROW'S SWORD (item is spelled the same backwards)– This weapon is

normally -2 to hit and +2 on damage. If used against or by a drow both
sides take the same amount of damage from a successful attack (x2).

(60-61) INTEGRAL LONG SWORD d(1d10),c=5– This elongated "S" shaped (integral)

shaped weapon does (1d10)d10+(Str,Specialization,etc.)d10+5 damage, or
an amount equal to normal damage of a long sword of 1d10's plus 5.

(62) SWORD MOD 2– This weapon does either 0 or 1 point of damage per hit.

It is a cursed weapon and cannot be gotten rid of without magic.

(63) ~(not) SWORD– This weapon hits if it should have missed by the roll

and misses if it should have hit. It heals its damage amount.

(64) MOVL LONG SWORD– Stores hit points, when hits it reverses the hp of

the sword and the opponent (does no normal damage). Example: A MOVL
sword has 4 hp in it. It hits a dragon (100 hp), who now has 4 hp and
the sword has 100 hp. It then hits a kobold (2 hp). The kobold now has
100 hp and the sword has 2 hp. The sword cannot hold negative or zero
hit point amounts. When found the sword has 1d20 hit points stored.

(65) COPY LONG SWORD– Similar to above, but the sword always has a fixed

amount of hit points stored in it and moves that amount to the opponent.
Thus a COPY long sword with 1 hp (constant) is similar to a harm spell.
This variety has 1d100 hit points stored and this cannot be changed.

(66-67) SUMMATION SWORD– This sword does a summation amount of damage, as

determined by a 1d10 roll:	1= 1 hp		2= 3 hp
3= 6 hp		4= 10 hp	5= 15 hp	6= 21 hp
7= 28 hp	8= 36 hp	9= 45 hp       10= 55 hp
This amount of damage is not modified by strength,specialization,etc.
Other variants based on 1d8+1,1d12-1,etc. could be devised.

(68) FACTORIAL SWORD– This sword does a factorial amount of damage, as

determined by a 1d6-1 roll:	0= 1 hp		1= 1 hp
2= 2 hp		3= 6 hp		4= 24 hp	5= 120 hp
This amount of damage is not modifiec by strength,specialization,etc.
Other variants based on 1d10/2,1d4+1,etc. could be devised.

(69-70) MECHANICAL SWORD+2– This sword, which strangely looks like a huge

mechanical pencil (of course your PC's won't know that),has these
special abilities in addition to being a +2 short sword:
1. The sword can be loaded with up to 6 specially made darts and if
   the end of the pommel is depressed they shoot out of the end of
   the blade. Each counts as a +2 dart and has the following ranges:
   Short: 0-2, Medium: 3-4, Long: 5-8. If the pommel is depressed as the
   sword hits a dart may be injected into the opponent,who must make a
   a save vs. poison or be lead poisoned. The special darts must be
   made out of lead,coal,or graphite, and the sword has 1d6 of these
   when found.
2. The pommel can be taken off revealing the dreaded "eraser". This item
   will remove up to 1 cubic foot of matter per touch, which requires
   a rubbing motion. If used against a creature it is allowed a save vs.
   spell at -2 or take 8d8+2 points of damage and lose 1 cubic foot of
   itself. The eraser has 20 applications then is worn down and cannot
   be replaced.
3. The sword can write magically,i.e. can leave auras of writing on any
   object such as a "Z" on someone's chest. This is permanent unless 
   erased as above and each sentence (5 four-letter words) consumes one
   of the darts stored in the sword.

(71) SWORD OF INFINATE ILLUSIONARY CURSES– When this sword hits an opponent

an illusion of a sword with the pommel facing the opponent appears. If
the opponent is unarmed or has a nonmagical weapon it must make a Wis
check or grab the illusionary sword and use it against the real sword's
user. This illusionary sword is -2 to hit and does 1 point of damage 
until the real sword user discovers it makes illusions, then it does
no damage. The sword will not create an illusion for an opponent who
already has an illusionary sword,and all illusionary swords are gone
after 1 turn. The illusionary swords are completely cursed to their
users, therefore they cannot be gotten rid of unless a remove curse is
cast. The real sword itself is considered a +2 weapon, and does inflict
damage as well if it hits.

(72-73) HUH? SWORD+2– This sword appears as a normal long sword when found.

When the bottom of the pommel is pressed the blade splits down almost
to the handle and divides making a T-shaped pick like weapon. In pick
form it can be used twice per round and inflicts 1d4/1d6 points of
damage per attack,plus bonuses. If in sword form on a successful attack
if the button is pressed at that instant the sword splits and actually
misses the opponent because of its shorter length. The opponent must
make a saving throw vs. wands at -2 or be confused (as per spell) for
1d12 rounds.

(74) ACK! SWORD (Artifact from Bill the Cat): No, I'm not designing this one! (75-76) LONG SWORD +- (2+damage)– This sword does plus or minus damage each

round. That is, if the weapon does 12 points against a 20 hp creature

(for example) the creature has 20+-12 hp, or 8 hp and 32 hp at the same

time. Both amounts (or more if the weapon is used more than once against
the same creaure) must be brought below 0 to kill the creature. If one
amount is below 0 the creature is considered "half-dead" and is slowed
(as per spell) until healed. After 1 turn the creature's hit point
amounts average out giving him 1 hit point value again (which may kill
it in the case if its already "half-dead").

(77-80) SWORD BOW+2– This weapon looks like a large long bow with 2 thick

strings. The weapon does not fire arrows but fires swords, as follows:
Short Swords: #Attacks 2 per round,Damage 2d6/2d6
Long Swords: #Attacks 3 per 2 rounds,Damage 2d8/2d8
Bastard Swords: #Attacks 4 per 3 rounds,Damage 4d4/4d4
Two-Handed Swords: #Attacks 1 per round,Damage 2d10/2d10
Scimitars,Khopesh,etc: Cannot be used as they are too curved.
Spears (modified to have cross-bar): #Attacks 2 per round,Damage 2d6/2d6
Pole Arms (modified): #Attacks 1 per round,Damage 2xMedium Amount Dice
The user must have at least 18/50 Str to use this weapon. To Hit and
Damage are adjusted for Str and Dex. This weapon requires its own
weapon proficiency and can be specialized in as with other bows.
All weapons must make saves versus crushing blow or be broken after
being fired by this weapon. Ranges are: Short 0-3,Medium 4-6,Long 7-12.

(81-82) STAFF SLING OF BATTLE AXES+1– Another cross variant weapon,this appears

as a long and heavy staff sling with a hole in the end of the pole with
the net. If an axe is placed in the hole and the staff sling is swung
the axe pops out, is caught by the net and spun, and is shot out with
the following ranges: Short 0-2,Medium 3-5,Long 6-8. Weapons as follows:
Hand Axes: #Attacks 2 per round,Damage 2x(1d6)
Battle Axes: #Attacks 3 per 2 rounds,Damage 2x(1d8)
Giant Axes: #Attacks 1 per round,Damage 2x(1d10)
Huge Axes: #Attacks 1 per 2 rounds,Damage 2x(1d12)
Pole Arms that are Axe based: #Attacks 1 per round,Damage 2x(Medium dmg)
All weapons must make saves versus crushing blow or be broken after
being fired by this weapon. The user must have a 18/50 Str to use this
weapon and to hit and damage are modified by Str and Dex. The staff
sling may be used as a melee weapon (1d8/1d8). Standard weapon prof-
iciency in Staff Sling is acceptable.

(83-84) NOSE RING OF SNOT SUCKING– This nose ring,if toggled by the user's

nose,allows him to suck all of the snot out of his nose giving him
excellent smell ability out to 240' for 1d4 days. The item becomes
nonmagical after one use.

(85-86) BUBBLE GUM OF LEVITATION– This magic item appears as a small (1" long)

piece of pink gum that if chewed and blown will create a huge bubble
that is 1' in diameter per point of Con of the user and the user may
levitate at a rate of 1" per Con point. After 3 rounds the bubble bursts
entangling all in the are of effect for 2 rounds and effecting all
within 60' as if a gust of wind had been cast by a Con level caster.

(87) BUBBLE GUM OF FIERY HOTNESS– This magic item appears as a small (1"

long) piece of red gum that if chewed and blown will create a huge 
bubble that is 1' in diameter per point of Con of the user. After 3
rounds the bubble bursts creating a fireball of (Con)d6 strength that
is centered on the gum chewer. If a bubble is not blown after 1 round
the user may breathe fire once per round for 4d4+4 points of damage in
a 40' long by 10' wide cone. The gum lasts for 5 rounds.

(88) BUBBLE GUM OF FOUL BREATH– This magic item appears as a small (1" long)

piece of green gum that if chewed gives him extremely foul breath for
1d6 hours. He is affected by a -6 Cha shift and all creatures within
30' must save vs. poison or immediately desire to get out of the casters
are of effect.

(89) BUBBLE GUM OF BUBBLING GUMS– This magic item appears as a small (1"

long) piece of purple gum that if chewed makes his gums bubble and pop.
After one round if the gum is not removed the user's teeth fall out and
cannot be replaced except for a regeneration spell.

(90-91) WARHAMMER OF FLATTENING+3– When this warhammer hits,an illusion of a

giant (10' diameter) warhammer bears down on the victim and flattens him
to 1" height and (normal height) radius on the ground unless a save vs.
death magic is made. The victim dies unless he would be unaffected by
such flattening,such as green slimes,time elementals,etc. A dwarf may
throw this hammer and it has the same effect when it strikes.

(92-93) BAG OF ENDLESS BURNING– This bag of holding opens instead to an area

of the elemental plane of fire. Items stored there must make a saving
throw vs. magical fire every round or be destroyed. Magic items have a
1% cumulative chance per round of being destroyed,-10% per plus or level
of the item. Artifacts and Relics are not effected. The bag opens into
a 10' cube area that can hold any mass of that size. Other bags are:
BAG OF INFINATE WATER-- water flows back into the bag if taken out.
BAG OF BILLOWING AIR-- creates gusts of wind,tornadoes if opened.
BAG OF SOLID EARTH-- not very useful.
Quasi- or Para- bags (lightening,vacuum,salt,etc.) could also be created
(see Manual of the Planes for element information). The effects of
placing these bags into others is decided by the DM.

(94) BAG OF INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL– Only two of these bags are known to

exist, one for 1990 Earth and one for 'toon Town. Each allows the user
to reach into the bag and pull out any object from that place that he
wishes,such as cars and rifles from Earth and Yosemite Sam from 'toon
Town. The user may also step into the bag and go to that place, reaching
up into the sky and pulling the bag inside out so he has a bag to AD&D
world,pulling out whatever he wishes. This makes this bag an infinate
source of treasure and a quick way of teleporting.

(95) RING OF SHAPE CHANGING– This ring allows the user to shape change as

the 9th level spell once per turn. If the ring is taken off the user 
stays in that form. The ring itself will adjust itself but no other
items carried by the user. Each use has a 1% chance of the user 
completely becoming the creature (including intelligence & memories)
and a 1% cumulative chance of the user forgetting what his natural form
actually is.

(96) HELM OF ANTIPHYSICAL INTRODUCTION– This helm anti-clones the user. That

is,another being is created: same level but M-U to Fighter,Thief to
Cleric,Assassin to Druid,etc.,opposite alignment (same in TN case),
opposite sex,etc. There is a 50% chance of the two creatures to hate
each other immediately as the Clone spell and there is a 50% chance of
the two creatures affecting each other as if a Cha of 25 and a Com of
30+ was involved. The DM must decide equipment,spells,etc.;but the idea
is to be as opposite as possible. The other being also has:
HELM OF ANTIPHYSICAL CONCLUSION-- This helm,if worn by the original
      being that wore the normal helm above, will remove the cloned person 
from existance. In the hatred case the clone will try to hide this item
and do away with the original being, and in the love case neither
creature will want to seperate,thus never using this item. This helm 
will not be found by itself.

(97) HOLY DAY PLANNER– Another notebook,this was written by a good priest

over a few years. A Holy Day Planner contains (2d4)x8 pages. For every
1d10 pages roll 1d20 to see the subject:
 1=notes on some aspect/chapter of priest's holy book or bible
 2=diary,usually well checked for spelling/grammatical errors
 3=month's events (holy or otherwise),usually formally written
 4=clerical cantrip (cure tiny wounds,enlighten day,smile,etc.)
 5=ingrediants to a recipe,usually O.K. but boring/bland
 6=animals not to be hunted,restrictions on work,etc.
 7=herbs/plant list and their function to the belief,magical effects?
 8=laws of the locale area (LG-to the letter,NG-loopholes list,CG-how
   to break rules and still not get caught)
 9=love/hate list to the priest's diety,always local people
10=ingrediants to some strange potion (bless,negative plane protection,
   belief,create holy water,aid,etc.)
11=first level spell idea,usually backfires or won't work (Animal
   Summoning 0,Cure Tremendous Wounds,Evil Damnation,Rock Entangle,etc.)
12=maps of the diety's home plane (never correct)
13=maps of a church or large house,usually not very well done/too large
14=activities of other churches in the area and what to watch for
15=exact accounting records down to 1/10's of copper pieces
16=Papers&Paychecks (P&P) Character Sheet,usually sucks but honest
17=Small item of sage knowledge (see DMG)
18=Notes on other churches of the diety's belief
19=Poetry,Short Stories,usually too disgusting heartwarming to be read
20=DM special,usually something extremely interesting or important
   (8th and 9th level cleric spell ideas,how to get M-U spells from
    your diety,weaknesses of the diety's enemies [accurate!],hidden
    areas and forbiddance zones in the church,improved versions of low
    level spells,how to turn evil creatures as well as undead,etc.)

(98) PIG WIG– If worn the user's face turns into that of a pig, lowering

his charisma by 4. The only sounds he can make is oinking and the only
food he can eat is from the Maggot Dagger,above,which is usually with
the pig wig. The wig may be removed with a Remove Curse spell.

(99) BAG OF DICE– This small pouch contains six dice (d4,d6,d8,d10,d12,d20).

Each die has one effect if rolled,as follows:
 1=Die Explodes,doing (die type) damage to all within 10'
 2=Die turns red,if thrown does (die type) damage to those it hits
 3=Roller is cursed (-die type to hit and damage) for one day
 4=User is healed of (die type) hit points
 5=Die makes loud cracking sound when rolled,all within 10' are deaf
 6=Roll die again,the user may use this roll whenever he wants to once.
 7=Roller changes alignment by 1 shift,curse may be removed
 8=User does (die type) extra damage every attack for 1 day
 9=Die magic jars roller's soul into it
10=Die can cast a magic jar for the caster whenever he wants to once.
11=Roller changes sex,curse may be removed
12=Die has (die type) heals stored,may be used at roller's option
13=Roller loses (die type)/2 energy levels,may be restored
14=Roller gains 1 Level of experience in all of his classes
15=Roller loses 1 point from every ability score
16=Roller gains 1 point to every ability score
17=One of the roller's classes becomes random
18=The Roller gains (die type) levels in random classes
19=Roller's race becomes random
20=Every die rolled by the roller is max/min (50%/50%) for 1 day
Note that a 1d4 can give only results 1-4,etc.

(00) JUGGERNAUT SWORD– Not actually a sword,the Juggernaut is a small (6'

long) alien spacecraft that appears to the average AD&D PC as an except-
ionally blunt sword with strange tubes on the handle (which are actually
exhaust pipes). The Juggernaut is computer driven and will not hurt the
user of the "sword" if used as such. It has the following effects:
1.The Juggernaut,if used as a Long Sword,does 1d8+2/1d10+2 points of
  damage and counts as a bludgeoning (non-edged) weapon.
2.(Command Words needed) Can fire 4 intensely focused beams of phased
  light which cause 20 points of damage each out to 100 yards. A to hit
  roll at +4 is required (does not gain Str or Dex). Each "phaser" must
  cool down for 1 round after being fired once.
3.Where the blade joins the handle there is a large square box. This is
  actually a rotating shield generator,which has a 180 degree primary
  arc and a 180 opposite degree secondary arc. Attacks to the primary
  arc give the user (or the sword if alone) a +6 AC bonus and the shield
  can absorb 300 points of damage before going down. Attacks to the
  secondary arc is at +3 AC bonus and 150 hit points. If the shield is
  brought down the Juggernaut can repair its primary arc in 2 days and
  its secondary arc in 1 day. If commands are known the shield can be
  raised or lowered at will and the user can control the arcs.
4.If swung and thrown in the air or shot out of a Sword Bow (see above)
  the air that passes through the Juggernaut turns on its exhaust pipes
  allowing it to fly at 18" (cannot carry weight) and will attack with
  2 of its 4 "phasers" at each nearest creature. It will attack the
  original user unless a special command word is known. The Juggernaut
  will turn on its shield when it starts to move. After 4 turns the
  Juggernaut falls down inactive until picked up again. The only way
  to effectively stop a crazy Juggernaut is to overcome its rotating
  shield to the front and do 40 extra points of damage to destroy it or
  to attack it from behind hitting its exhaust pipes for 20 points 
  making its engines fail. After 3 days the Juggernaut will repair
  itself,even if it was completely destroyed. Other functions described
  below will be used by the Juggernaut to the best of its ability when
  fighting in crazy mode. Also in this mode it has THAC0 0,AC 0.
5.(Labs):The Juggernaut can analyze objects to determine their comp-
  onents. This in effect identifies magic items,creatures and their 
  strengths,etc. The Juggernaut can keep an exact track of 4 items per
  round but of course always knows generally what things are even if
  there are more than four. (It can tell a mage from a fighter,etc.)
6.(Tractors):The Juggernaut has 2 tractor beam generators. This weapon,
  if it hits,will allow the Juggernaut to control its movement by flying
  it at a rate of 6" per round. It can move 1 ton each at this speed.
7.(Transporters):The Juggernaut can dimension door 2 creatures per round
  up to any location within 180' of the Juggernaut. The Juggernaut may
  also beam itself to move faster in this fashion. Transporting into
  solid objects simply displaces the object around the transported.
8.(Probes):The Juggernaut has a Probe Launcher with 10 Probes (1 may be
  created per day up to this maximum). One may be fired per round as 
  either a weapon or as 2 extra labs. In weapon form each probe does 16
  points of damage if each. A probe can move at 24" and has AC 0,hp 20.
9.(Option Mounts):The Juggernaut has 4 Option Mounts and in 1 turn using
  its computer can create a system of similar power of 5-8 if it needs
  one. The choices of what could be there is infinate. The Juggernaut
  may place extra "phasers" there at 2 mounts each or an extra shield
  generator at 4 mounts.
     10.(ESG):The Juggernaut has an expanding sphere generator. Once per turn
  it can raise a 10' radius sphere of intense energy. Anyone touching
  the sphere take 20 points of damage and the sphere goes down. Missile
  weapons against the Juggernaut strike the sphere first doing 1 point
  to the sphere.
     11.(SFG):The Juggernaut has a stasis field generator. Once per turn the
  Juggernaut may cast a temporal stasis spell against any creature in
  a 50' range in front of it. This stays up as long as the Juggernaut
  is within 50' of the individual.
     12.(Computer):As mentioned before the Juggernaut has a computer. This
  computer is considered an Int of 24 and the Juggernaut can learn
  rather quickly. At the DM's option the Computer has Psionic Ability
  of 200/200 and has all attack and defense modes but no sciences.
     13.(HyperDrive):If the Juggernaut has all functions down except movement
  it can move at about 6000" acceleration to in AD&D terms almost 
  infinate speed. The Juggernaut only does this if it wishes to escape 
  the planet.
      Remember the Juggernaut will be inactive and seemingly harmless when it
is found. It will not perform functions unless it has to,as it fears
others learning what it can do. It is considered a medium artifact and
gets all the effects of that status.
				       /         \
				       \__  _____/
		_________________________|/\|__/  |
	       / _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /::\  --==
	      				 |\/|  \__|
		SEE YA LATER! 		_|  |____
				       /         \
			-DON MILLER    \_________/


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