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archive:humor:zodiac.hum

CAPRICORN (DEC22-JAN20) YOU ARE CONSSERVATIVE AND AFRAID OF TAKING RISKS.

		  YOU ARE BASICALLY CHICKEN SHIT.  THERE HAS NEVER
		  BEEN A CAPRICORN OF ANY IMPORTANTANCE.  YOU SHOULD
		  KILL YOURSELF!

AQUARIUS (JAN21-FEB18) YOU HAVE AN INVENTIVE MIND AND ARE INCLINED TO BE

		  PROGRESSIVE.	YOU LIE A GREAT DEAL.  ON THE OTHER
		  HAND, YOU ARE INCLINED TO BE CARELESS AND IMPRACTICAL
		  CAUSING YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES REPEATEDLY.
		  EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE A FUCKING JERK.

PISCES (FEB19-MAR20) YOU HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION AND OFTEN THINK YOUR

		  BEING FOLLOWED BY THE F.B.I. OR THE C.I.A.  YOU
		  HAVE A MINOR INFLUENCE OVER YOUR FRIENDS AND PEOPLE
		  RESENT YOU FOR FLAUNTING YOUR POWER.	YOU LACK CONFI-
		  DENCE AND ARE GENERALLY A COWARD.  PISCES PEOPLE SCREW
		  SMALL ANIMALS AND PICK THEIR NOSES ALOT.

ARIES (MAR21-APRIL19) YOU ARE THE PIONEER TYPE AND HOLD MOST PEOPLE IN

		  CONTEMPT.  YOU ARE QUICK TEMPERED, IMPATIENT, AND
		  SCORNFUL OF ADVICE.  YOU ARE A PRICK.

TAURUS (APRIL20-MAY20) YOU ARE PRACTICAL AND PERSISTANT. YOU HAVE A DOGGED

		DETERMINATION AND WORK LIKE HELL.  MOST PEOPLE THINK
		YOU ARE STUBBORN AND BULLHEADED.  YOU ARE NOTHING BUT
		A DAMN COMMUNIST!

GEMINI(MAY21-JUN20) YOU ARE A QUICK AND INTELLIGENT THINKER. PEOPLE LIKE

		YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE BISEXUAL.  HOWEVER, YOU ARE INCLINED
		TO EXPECT TOO MUCH FOR TOO LITTLE.  THIS MEANS YOU ARE
		A CHEAP BASTARD.  GEMINIS ARE NOTED FOR THRIVING ON
		INCEST!

CANCER (JAN21-JUL22) YOU ARE SYMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING TO OTHER PEOPLES

		PROBLEMS.  THEY THINK YOU ARE A SUCKER.  YOU ARE ALWAYS
		PUTTING THINGS OFF.  THIS IS WHY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ON
		WELFARE AND NEVER BE WORTH A SHIT!

LEO (JULY23-AUG22) YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A BORN LEADER. OTHERS THINK YOU

		ARE PUSHY.  MOST LEOS ARE BULLYS.  YOU ARE VAIN AND CAN
		NOT TOLERATE HONEST CRITICISM.	YOUR ARROGANCE IS DISGUS
		TING.  LEO PEOPLE ARE THEIVING BASTARDS AND KISS MIRRORS
		ALOT.

VIRGO (AUG23-SEPT22) YOU ARE THE LOGICAL TYPE AND HATE DISORDER. THE NIT

		PICKING IS SICKENING TO YOUR FRIENDS.  YOU ARE COLD
		AND UNEMOTIONAL AND OFTEN FALL ASLEEP WHILE SCREWING.
		VIRGOS MAKE GOOD BUS DRIVERS OF PIMPS.

LIBRA (SEPT23-OCT22) YOU ARE THE ARTISTIC TYPE AND HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME

		WITH REALITY.  IF YOU ARE A MALE, YOUR PROBABLY QUEER.
		CHANCES FOR EMPLOYMENT AND MONETARY GAIN ARE EXCELLENT
		MOST LIBRA WOMEN ARE WHORES.  ALL LIBRAS DIE OF VENEREAL
		DISEASE.

SCORPIO (OCT23-NOV21) YOU ARE SHREWD IN BUSINESS AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED. YOU

		SHALL ACHIEVE THE PINNACLE OF SUCESS BECAUSE OF YOUR
		TOTAL LACK OF ETHICS.  YOU ARE A PERFECT SON-OF-A-BITCH
		MOST SCORPIOS ARE MURDERED!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV22- YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC AND ENTHUSIASTIC. YOU HAVE A RECK

     DEC21)	LESS TENDANCY TO RELY ON GOOD LOOKS SINCE YOU HAVE NO
		TALENT.  THE MAJORITY OF SAGITTARIANS ARE DRUNKS OR
		POTHEAD.  PEOPLE LAUGH AT YOU ALOT BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAY
		GETTING FUCKED!

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/home/gen.uk/domains/wiki.gen.uk/public_html/data/pages/archive/humor/zodiac.hum.txt · Last modified: 1999/08/01 17:15 by 127.0.0.1

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