GENWiki

                        FOREIGN SIGNS IN ENGLISH

  In a Tokyo Hotel:  Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.  If
  you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

  In another Japanese hotel room:  Please to bathe inside the tub.

  In a Bucharest hotel lobby:  The lift is being fixed for the next
  day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

  In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only
  when lit up.

  In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
  wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
  should press a number of wishing floor.  Driving is then going
  alphabetically by national order.

  In a Paris hotel elevator:  Please leave your values at the front
  desk.

  In a hotel in Athens:  Visitors are expected to complain at the
  office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

  In a Yugoslavian hotel:  The flattening of underwear with pleasure
  is the job of the chambermaid.

  In a Japanese hotel:  You are invited to take advantage of the
  chambermaid.

  In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
  monastery:  You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
  and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
  Thursday.

  In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
  corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

  On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:  Our wines leave you nothing
  to hope for.

  On the menu of a Polish hotel:  Salad a firm's own make; limpid
  red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted
  duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

  In a Hong Kong supermarket:  For your convenience, we recommend
  courteous, efficient self-service.

  Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:  Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

  In a Rhodes tailor shop:  Order your summers suit.  Because is big
  rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

  Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:  There will be a Moscow Exhibition
  of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.  These
  were executed over the past two years.

  In an East African newspaper:  A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
  shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

  In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
  porter.

  A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:  It is strictly forbidden
  on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
  instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
  married with each other for that purpose.

  In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
  of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby
  be used for this purpose.

  In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:  Teeth extracted by the
  latest Methodists.

  A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:  A lot of water
  has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

  In a Rome laundry:  Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
  afternoon having a good time.

  In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:  Take one of our horse-driven
  city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

  Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:  Would you like to ride
  on your own ass?

  On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:  To stop the drip, turn cock
  to right.

  In the window of a Swedish furrier:  Fur coats made for ladies from
  their own skin.

  On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:  Guaranteed to
  work throughout its useful life.

  Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

  In a Swiss mountain inn:  Special today -- no ice cream.

  In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
  if dressed as a man.

  In a Tokyo bar:  Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

  In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:  We take your bags and send
  them in all directions.

  On the door of a Moscow hotel room:  If this is your first visit
  to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

  In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:  Ladies are requested not to have
  children in the bar.

  At a Budapest zoo:  Please do not feed the animals.  If you have
  any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

  In the office of a Roman doctor:  Specialist in women and other
  diseases.

  In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the
  water served here.

  In a Tokyo shop:  Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
  they are best in the long run.

  From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
  CONDITIONER:  COOLERS AND HEATERS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM
  in your room, please control yourself.

  From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:  When passenger of
  foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at
  first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with
  vigor.

  Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
      - English well talking.
      - Here speeching American.