Slagathor #158 »>
Kneeslapper by Slagathor, 7/23/1991
It's this guy named Fred back in California. He just went around all days slapping everyone's knees. That is, of course he'd finished slapping his until they started to bleed. He enjoyed it so much, that he decided he'd spread the joyous feeling of slapped knees to the entire county.
Then, one day, the Coalition Opposing Continuous Knee Slapping rode into town. They were brought in by the city counsil to end the madness. They searched the town for the man who slapped knees. They followed the trail of bodies to the Airport Cafe. Sure enough, Fred was inside slapping knees while those around him watched helplessly. Hardly a knee in the place was unslapped.
So the Coalition filled him full of lead. Gurgling through his own blood, Fred said "My what lovely knees you have" and then died.
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY: Never write a story at 3:00 in the morning. Laters.