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                         THE BIRDLOVER'S HOLIDAY
                                   Copyright 1991, Andrew P. Varga
            It was just before dawn.  Tom began another vigil,
        staring through the snowstorm at the dark shape in his
        back yard.
        It had been a pleasant morning ritual for a year, give or
        take a few days.  He smiled, remembering his delight at
        unwrapping the package from Alice and the kids.  It was
        the biggest bird feeder he'd ever seen.  He'd chipped the
        hole and forced the post into the frozen earth that very
        day.
            Every morning since, he'd come down to the den extra
        early, before Alice and the kids got up.  He'd sit in his
        favorite chair, sip the day's first cup of coffee, and
        wake up to the variety of birds that came to feed.
            There were many sparrows, of course.  A small group
        that seemed to keep pretty much to itself consisted
        entirely of a rare English variety.  There were two
        regular pairs of bright red cardinals.  One pair Tom had
        traced to their nest in the big oak that grew in the
        Burke's front lawn, three houses down.  A family of
        nuthatches had made a home in a small hollow in the old
        maple out behind the garage.  Numerous robins and
        red-winged blackbirds had come and gone throughout the
        summer.
            His favorite had been a big old bluejay he'd
        affectionately named Sam.  Sam came to the feeder
        regularly twice a week, Monday and Thursday mornings
        between six and six-thirty.
        But something changed.  For nearly two weeks the feeder
        sat, full and untouched.  Winter had come early and with
        enthusiasm.  He could think of no reason other than maybe
        squirrels were trying to help themselves to the seeds.
        Tom wallowed through the drifts to check the feeder every
        morning as he left for work.  If there had been any
        tracks, he hadn't seen them.
            He'd found a clue the morning before.  A frozen drop
        of blood and a blue feather lay in the snow at the base of
        the post.
            That very evening, after the children had been put to
        bed, he loaded his .22 caliber rifle and carefully hid it
        in the closet by the back door.
            Suddenly, Tom stiffened in his chair.  Something moved
        out there in the morning twilight!
            There it was again!  Something was moving in the
        shadow under the bush by the bird feeder!
            Hurrying through the kitchen and into the back room,
        Tom yanked his boots on over his bare feet and hurried
        into his coat.  He felt in the pocket for the flashlight
        he'd tucked away there to keep the kids from swiping its
        batteries.  Taking the rifle from the closet, he snuck out
        the back door.
        The snow was drifted deep and billowed over the tops of
        his boots, melting against his thin pajamas.  The icy wind
        made his eyes water.
            Crouching, he searched for a sign of the concrete
        walk.  He slapped the flashlight against the side of his
        leg a few times before it came on.  Someone had traded
        batteries.  He made a mental note to have a talk with Tom
        junior.
            Tom pointed the yellowing beam toward the bush.  He
        thought he could just make out a shape underneath.
        Suddenly there were two glowing reflections shining back
        at him.
            As he raised the rifle, the flashlight went dead and
        the reflections disappeared.
            Tom took aim in the general direction of where they
        had been a moment ago.  The rifle made a soft "Putt," the
        sound muffled in the wind.
            He wallowed toward it through the drifts.  He squinted
        hard as he crouched low beneath the winter-burdened
        branches.
        Tom's face was only inches away from it when a violent
        sneeze sent him reeling back into the snowbank.  He knew
        what it was.  Crawling back under the bush, he felt around
        for something that resembled fur.
            It was Puffy, the next door neighbor's white Angora.
        Puffy had a dark wet spot just over one eye.  "Glad the
        Randolfs are visiting her parents for the holidays," he
        muttered.
            As he stood and turned toward the house, he saw his
        bedroom light go on.  "Damn!" he said to himself.  "Alice
        is up.  Now what am I going to do?"
        Tom hurried through the snow toward the garage holding
        Puffy at arms length before him.  Under different
        circumstances, Tom would probably have missed the bulge in
        the snow that hid son Randy's neglected skateboard.
            Puffy flew one way and the rifle the other as Tom
        landed.  He wallowed among the drifts on all fours,
        searching.  Finding both with numbing fingers, he slogged
        his way to the garage.
            He grabbed the handle to the overhead door.  Locked.
         His keys were in the pocket of his pants, upstairs in his
        bedroom.
            Kicking a small grave in the snowdrift by the garage,
        he dashed as best as he could back into the house. Yanking
        off his boots, he returned the rifle to the closet and ran
        through the kitchen and around to the stairs.  He listened
        carefully as he snuck up them.
            Peeking around the corner at the top, he smiled to
        himself.  The bathroom light squinted around the closed
        door.  He tiptoed past it and down the hall to their
        bedroom.  Finding his pants on the chair, he silently
        withdrew his keys.
            Turning to go, he stubbed his toe hard on the edge of
        the dresser that he'd helped Alice move the day before.
        Fighting against the need to scream in pain, Tom limped
        back along the hallway and down the stairs.
            Returning to the back room, he gingerly stepped into
        his house slippers.  His toes had already swollen too much
        to fit into his boots.
            Again outdoors, he hurried to the garage. The snow
        stuck to his already wet pajamas and started to freeze.
        It was a few long minutes before he found Puffy.  He
        opened the garage door, slung the dead cat inside, closed
        it, and hurried back to the house.  Alice was waiting for
        him in the back room.
            "Your face is flushed, Tom.  Are you coming down with
        something?."
            He got as far as, "No, I'm fi . . . fi . . ." before
        a sneeze seemed to shake the house.
            "You've got a cold.  I'll make some hot lemonade."
            Tom flinched.  He hated hot lemonade.
            "And what did you expect, running around out there in
        your pajamas.  Did you stoke the furnace?"
            "I was just about to, Dear."  Tom replied, his mind
        scrambling for a plausible excuse. "Coal!  We're running
        low on coal.  I thought I'd get some firewood, to sort of
        stretch it out."
            Alice's eyes widened.  "Okay, so where is it?"
            "Oh, I forgot," He quickly turned to the door.
            "Tom!" she called after him.  "What were you doing in
        the garage?"
            Tom slowly turned to her and forced a smile, again
        scrambling for an answer.  "It's too close to Christmas to
        ask."
            "Oh, okay," she smiled.  "Well hurry up with the
        furnace, the children will be up soon.  Breakfast will be
        ready when you're done."
            Tom had a little trouble bringing in the wood.  The
        legs of his pajamas had frozen stiff, making it difficult
        to bend his knees.  He had even more trouble getting the
        furnace going, there were no embers left from the night
        before.
            Mid-morning found him breakfasted, bathed, and
        relaxing in his favorite chair to the morning newspaper.
            "Hey Dad," Tom Jr. asked as he and his brothers and
        sisters filed into the den, "can I have the keys to the
        garage?"
            Tom didn't look up.  Nothing could budge him from his
        paper.  If he had looked, he would have seen five large
        bundles of clothing.  At a glance, it was impossible to
        tell that each held a now sweating child.
            We're going sledding," eleven year old Stacy
        announced.
            "Yeah, Dad," Tom Jr. said, talking louder with each
        word.  "And the sleds are in the GARAGE - "
            Tom was halfway through the kitchen before his paper
        hit the floor.  "I'll get them, kids," he called back over
        his shouldering.  "Its cold outside.  You all stay right
        here."
            He dashed into the garage and began a desperate search
        for Puffy's remains.  Just as he pulled the stiffening
        form from where it had landed in the corner behind Alice's
        stack of planting pots, he heard a voice call from the
        house, "Having trouble Dad?"
            Desperately searching for a way to dispose of Puffy,
        Tom jammed it into one of the plastic ice cream tubs that
        Alice always saved.
            "Yeah, I'm having a problem," he said to himself as he
        fought to snap the stiff plastic lid.
            Hearing the back door slam, he just managed to tuck
        the frozen container inside his shirt as all five children
        waddled into the garage.
            "Whatcha got, Daddy?" four year old Jenny asked.
            Tom stood in the corner, trapped.
            "Don't ask!" Tom Jr hushed his sister.
            Tom's face turned stern as he fought to collect his
        dignity.  He slowly walked toward the door, and his five
        children.  He heard "Christmas presents!" whispered among
        them as he passed and sighed with relief.
            Once inside, Tom ran in circles through the kitchen,
        searching for a safe place to hide the tub.
            "Creak" went the floorboard in the living room.  Alice
        was coming.
            Tom put Puffy in the only place he could find, the
        freezer.  He'd just closed the door as Alice entered.
            "Stay out of the goodies," she smilingly scolded.
        "All that stuff is for tomorrow's Christmas dinner."
            At lunch all the children were excitedly chattering
        about what they'd seen in the back yard.  The boys decided
        that pirates had come in the night to dig up their
        treasure chest, uncovered Randy's skateboard instead, and
        got into a sword fight.  Tom Junior had found frozen drops
        of blood as proof.
            Tom noticed oldest daughter Julie frowning.
            "Hey, Jewel," he said, "looks like something's
        bothering you, yes?"
            She nodded in affirmation.
            "Well out with it, Honey.  I can't help if I don't
        know what it is."
            "She can't talk," Stacy explained.
            "Whatsa matter," Randy teased, "cat got your tongue?"
            Tom flinched.
            "Shut up, Randy," Julie told her brother, "or else."
            Randy fell silent, not from his sister's threat but
        because of the look Tom shot at him.
            "It's the Randolfs," she told her father.
            "But they're not even home," Tom replied.  "How can
        they be a problem?"
            "You like the Randolfs," Alice added.  "They're very
        nice people."
            "I know they are, Mommy," Julie replied.  "That's why
        I offered to feed Puffy for them while they're gone."
            Tom gulped.
            Julie continued, "I went over to feed her a little
        while ago but I can't find her anywhere.  And her food
        dish is still full from yesterday."
            "Don't worry, Dear," Alice comforted. "I'm sure
        Puffy's around somewhere.  Right Tom?"
            "Ugh, yes, yes, I'm sure."  Tom started to sweat.
        "Cats like to wander around, Jewel.  But I'm sure that
        little Puffy hasn't gotten very far away."
            "Promise, Daddy?" Julie's worry started to dissipate.
            "I promise."
            The rest of the day went well with everyone laughingly
        wrapping presents and whispering Christmas secrets.
            Evening found the family happily relaxing in the
        living room.
            "Mommy," Stacy asked, "can we have some ice cream
        before we go to bed?"
            "Yeah!  Please?  Can we?" the others chimed in.
            Tom was in the kitchen before Alice could answer.
        "I'll get it," he called.
            He quickly reached into the freezer and, grabbing the
        plastic tub, dashed to the basement.  He tossed it into
        the coal bin before running back upstairs.
            Alice was in the kitchen when he returned.  "Since
        when do we keep ice cream in the basement?" she asked.
            All Tom could do was put on his `I don't know what
        you're talking about' smile and shrug his shoulders.
            Alice went to the freezer and removed a plastic tub
        identical to the one Tom had just disposed of.  He gasped
        as she pried open the lid.
            "What's wrong with you?" she asked, scooping vanilla
        ice cream into the dishes.  Tom only sneezed, and was
        given another dose of hot lemonade.
            It took longer than usual for the children to get to
        sleep, what with it being Christmas eve.  It was almost
        four in the morning by the time Tom and Alice, having
        finished their Christmas preparations, trudged wearily
        upstairs for bed.
            Alice stopped at the top of the stairs.  "Oh darn, I
        forgot to put the turkey in the oven."
            "Can't it wait?"
            "It can if you don't want Christmas dinner until seven
        thirty at night."
            "I get your point."
            "It won't take but a couple of minutes.  Why don't you
        stoke the furnace while I'm putting it in?  That way the
        house will be warm when the children get up."
            Tom trudged to the basement.  He opened the door to
        the coal bin and jumped in fright as the white container
        rolled out.
            "Damned cats are more trouble," he muttered as he
        stoked the furnace.
            "I'll fix you,"  He threw the tub on top of the pile
        of coal and slammed the heavy furnace door.  He waited to
        be sure he wasn't going to sneeze before going upstairs.
            The next thing Tom remembered was Alice shaking him.
        "Come on, Tom," she was saying, "the children are up."
            "What time is it?"
            "A little after six."
            "Tell them to wait."
            "Come on, Tom, its Christmas morning!"
            "All right, all right."
            "I'll get them to wait until you've got a fire started
        in the fireplace."
            "The fireplace?"
            "It looks so Christmassy with a fire in the fireplace.
        We do it every year."
            Tom stumbled downstairs and got the fire going.
            "All right," he called. "Its all ready.  Merry . . .
        ah-CHOO . . . Christmas!"
           The children bounded down the stairs, followed closely
        by Alice.
            Packages were excitedly ripped open amid peals of
        laughter and joy.
            "What's that funny smell?" Randy asked.  Everyone
        paused.
            "Smells like something's burning!" Tom Jr. exclaimed.
            "Oh my, the turkey!"  Alice raced to the kitchen.
            "Sure is a funny smell," Julie said.
            "I don't smell anything," Tom said, searching faces
        for support.
            Alice came back from the kitchen with a puzzled look
        on her face.  "Its not the turkey."
            "Smells like burning hair," Stacy said seriously.
            Jenny began to cry.
            "What's wrong, Jen?" Tom asked.
            Jenny sobbed something to Randy, whose face instantly
        took on a most serious, worried look.  "She thinks that
        Santa Clause got stuck in the chimney and Dad put him on
        fire."
            "That's impossible," Tom Jr. scoffed.  "Santa Clause
        is . . . "
            "Santa is magic," Alice interrupted.  "And because
        he's magic, its absolutely impossible for him to get stuck
        in a chimney."
            Jenny gradually stopped crying.
            "Okay," Stacy agreed, "so what's that smell?"
            "I don't sbell anything," Tom stifled a sneeze.
            "You need some more hot lemonade," Alice told him.
            "Please no, Honey.  I don't need any bore lemonade.
        Please Alice, it's Christbus.  I just deed a kleedex."
            Tom stood slowly and shuffled into the den.  Slumping
        into his favorite chair, he held a tissue to his nose.
            He smiled as he turned to see the birds flocking to
        his feeder.



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