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archive:messages:modemtest

Jason,

I love the work you are doing at textfiles.com.

I was the SysOp of "The Art of War BBS" in Atlanta, Georgia from 1991 until late 1994. (Yes, I am included in your list for the 404 area code!)

I would like to donate a collection of messages from my bbs that would fit nicely with your collection. Let me set it up for you, so the messages make sense. These messages come from a period of time when I was "fed up" with the BBS scene and decided to take down "The Art of War BBS"(TAoW BBS). However, I had a job in the computer field repairing computers and I often called my own bbs as a "modem test" while working on defective modems. So, while I was fed up with TAoW BBS – I still wanted to keep some sort of system "up" so I could test modems. Voila – "The Modem Test BBS" was born – the name itself kind of being a joke… I didn't think anyone would actually call when they saw TAoW BBS was gone. Boy, was I suprised! The messages were so lively and the support from my callers so great – that it actually inspired me to put TAoW BBS back online! I kept these messages all these years… and I gladly contribute them now to textfiles.com. Enjoy.

Regards, Charles "Chuck" Hood former SysOp of The Art of War BBS Atlanta, GA


Messages from 3 to 539 Start with Msg # ? 3 Msg# : 3

     To : WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (public) (not read)
   From : RAY SPITZ
Subject : BBS

Date/Time : 08-01-92 23:21:48


What happened to The Art of War. I would have sworn it was at this phon number

! Or at least thats where i have been calling for it. At 404-414-0329.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 6

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ROBERT SCOTT
Subject : huh

Date/Time : 05-01-93 01:51:39


What happened indeed? So what is this right here and now? Robert Scott

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 8

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHRIS RUEGSEGGER
Subject : well

Date/Time : 05-01-93 11:21:19


Well from what I see the board seems to be history….I haven't been abl to call the placee in the last week so I have know idea whats going on!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 9

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : BRIAN KOSER
Subject : darn..curses

Date/Time : 05-02-93 23:16:52


Twas a good bbs…I shall miss it….Any chance of a return let me know..I shall help.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 11

     To : PUBLIC (public) (not read)
   From : BRANDON BRAMLETT
Subject : WHATINTHA?

Date/Time : 05-03-93 16:46:04


what happened? I go away for a month and look what happens! Hey Mr. Sysop, why kill such a descent board? ( after all, you could have at least left BRE! ).

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 12

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : IRA WAJSMAN
Subject : Battle of the Bulge

Date/Time : 05-05-93 22:58:42


This is my first time on this BBS…been trying for several days but thi is my first time in…a friend of mine is trying to get some info on the Battle of the Bulge…we'd be grateful for anything that y'all might hav or know about…I'll try to sign on again in the next few days to see what I might be able to gather from you…Thanks in advance!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 14

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : angry

Date/Time : 05-06-93 20:24:28


ARGH!!! Why did it have to go down. Such a COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL BBS. I had some cool door games I was going to U/L too. Ohhh Well, till next time..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 15

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JOHNNY BUNCH
Subject : Art of War

Date/Time : 05-20-93 08:44:59


Sorry to see that you are shutting down. Should you ever have a chance t call me….Warrior Base 404-336-9701….we'll be here. I know that you must have a good reason…but I really hate to see it happen. c'ya and good luck… perhaps we will see you again running The Art of War (senio c'ya

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 19

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : NEW USER
Subject : what

Date/Time : 05-24-93 14:59:22


what is the purpose of the art of war bbs ,jr.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 20

     To : NEW USER (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : what

Date/Time : 05-25-93 07:23:17


to inform people that the real art of war bbs is down for good.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 21

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : REG MATHIS
Subject : TAPS

Date/Time : 05-27-93 11:41:36


Sorry to see the demise of a good companion. It seemed that everything was going so well. I suspect a government conspiracy! I saw a dark, shapeless figure on the grassy knoll erasing disks! Alas, I hope to see you around the Atl area BBS's. Until then, Semper Fidelis! Gunner

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 22

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : PAUL BRADY
Subject : HOW SAD

Date/Time : 06-08-93 02:40:16


HOW VERY SAD

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 23

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : PAT COLONEY
Subject : Yo!

Date/Time : 06-08-93 09:36:24


So it is still here. I am attempting to get a board running but the software is fighting me. I can see why the host is so easy.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 24

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : argh II

Date/Time : 06-08-93 22:08:22


What the Hell is going on here? I remember seeing this "Art of War Jr " here before. Then, the real thing was up; tried calling and calling to see if Chucky had answered my mail, then this AGAIN. Well, this AOWJr. will go away just as it did before, then reapear (strange how that happens). 2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

  222222222ZDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?2222222
  2222222223                                                  30022222
  2222222223      The Art of War BBS is down and it is        30022222
  2222222223      not coming back up.  Thank you for 1.5      30022222
  2222222223      great years!  See ya in the funny papers... 30022222
  2222222223                                                  30022222
  222222222@DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY0022222
  22222222222000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000022222
  22222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

It also has said that before too. BTW, what does "see ya in the funny paper

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 25

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JOE HEWLETT
Subject : What

Date/Time : 06-09-93 00:44:24


What happened, I had to work for awile and I came back to nothing. This was a awsome bbs. I had alot of files to upload.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 27

     To : NEW USER (public) (not read)
   From : JOE BOB
Subject : what

Date/Time : 06-10-93 14:07:40


its purpose is to test modems you idoits

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 29

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : KNEAL BOORTZ
Subject : missing person

Date/Time : 06-11-93 09:57:02


has anybody seen or heard from jesse teague lately, ithink he may have moved to tennessee and started a religous cult, can anybody verify this. see ya in the not so funny papers…………..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 30

     To : KNEAL BOORTZ (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : missing person

Date/Time : 06-11-93 10:04:37


yes i saw jesse teague in south pittsburg , tn. stocking up on many fire works and ammuniation, he must be planning something big

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 31

     To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : what

Date/Time : 06-11-93 10:07:08


who are you calling an idiot, you can't even spell idiot , you idiot? who would want to test a modem anyway?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 32

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : politics

Date/Time : 06-11-93 10:11:15


how come nobody claims to have voted for bill clinton, now?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 33

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : DON GRAY
Subject : THIS BOARD SUCKS

Date/Time : 06-11-93 13:06:29


TWAS' A BAD ASS BOARD……THIS BOARD ART OF WAR Jr. SUCKS OUT THE ASS

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 34

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JOHNNY BUNCH
Subject : TAoW

Date/Time : 06-11-93 14:36:10


Why did you decide to shut down? Hell if you are going to run JR….you may as well start it back up. Give me a call some time. Johnny Warrior Base

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 35

     To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : what

Date/Time : 06-11-93 21:23:25


Hey Joe Bob idoit. idoit is spelled idiot, you idiot.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 37

     To : KNEAL BOORTZ (public) (not read)
   From : RICK DAVIS
Subject : missing person

Date/Time : 06-12-93 01:51:02


I dunno, whyn't ya call the ATF in and find out. Heh.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 38

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RICK DAVIS
Subject : Tootles

Date/Time : 06-12-93 01:52:27


Chuck. Chuck!! Chuck!!!!!

Always dismayed to see a promising bbs go down, but understand totally how time constraints and MONEY play heavy parts in your decision. I hop everyone will learn from this and dig deep for the next FREE board that comes along. There aren't many left. And Ya'll (thats right, Ya'll) go to admit that for all the info and entertainment, you can't beat the price. So, in closing, I would beseech you all to take what you have learned here today and support your local sysops.

All this from a guy who never donated a red cent, but next time, I'll do things differently.

Chuck, good luck in your future endeavors. As someone said before, Hope to see ya on the boards. And to all the rest of the users! Take care.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 40

     To : GOD IN HEAVEN (public) (not read)
   From : AXE HEAD
Subject : the death of a noble board

Date/Time : 06-12-93 12:10:28


oh my it seems another board has gone to a dark and watery grave now who knows where i will get my death and violence fix? upload here. be cool man there are other bbs's. punctuation sucks>

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 41

     To : SYSOP OF AOW JR. (public) (not read)
   From : SETH MORRIS
Subject : why

Date/Time : 06-13-93 00:56:13


what the hell is wrong with this man you were going so good then bang,shit city. i was going to upload but i dont think i will now either stay up with a real system or leave, plain and simple

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 42

     To : SETH MORRIS (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : why

Date/Time : 06-13-93 08:59:12


so leave then

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 43

     To : DON GRAY (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : THIS BOARD SUCKS

Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:01:13


nobody is forcing you to call, upload or get off

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 44

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : what

Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:02:04


that jo bob guy is a serial killer, i saw him on americas most wanted!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 45

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : this bbs

Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:04:53


i think the art of war junior is great, please keep it going

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 46

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JESSE TEAGUE
Subject : me

Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:24:25


contrary to popular belief, i am not missing

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 47

     To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : what

Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:28:03


i am not a serial killer , i have not killed more than 2 people in a 1 year time span, i was not on americas most wanted, but america's funniest videos, so there

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 48

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : see you soon

Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:31:20


hi chuck hope to see you real soon

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 49

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-13-93 10:28:56


bill clinton thinks he can tax and spend the us economy back into prosperity, what a fool he is. algore thinks the automobile is the # 1 threat to life on earth, and you voted for these jerks. we should impeach the president and her husband bill.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 50

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ED GRINGLEY
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 10:58:15


hey, i just found a hypo needle in my diet pepsi can, what should i do?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 51

     To : ED GRINGLEY (public) (not read)
   From : BOB GONZALEZ
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:01:06


ed , that's nothing , i found a 16 penny nail in my diet pepsi can, you should consider yourself lucky, that it was only a needle.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 52

     To : BOB GONZALEZ (public) (not read)
   From : JANE HATHOWAY
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:05:20


wow yuo guys complain about little things like that , i found 22 pop rivets in my can of diet pepsi, it was absolutely terrifing it almost riveted my tougue to the roof of my mouth.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 53

     To : JANE HATHOWAY (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:11:06


that's nothing, i found the hood ornament to a 83 mercedes benz in my ca of diet pepsi, and i don't even like diet pepsi. i think the news media is to blame for these objects in all these diet pepsi cans. i also think the cia killed kennedy. i also think the government has captured live aliens in flying saucers, and has then in a airforce base in the nevada desert. i also don't believe there were gas chambers at altswich. i know my views aren't popular but iam one who has never delt in popularity.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 54

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:20:52


jo bob you are one weird guy, i found a floppy disk in my can if diet pepsi, it worked just fine in my macintosh disk drive, it had a stupid comm program on it called smartcom ez.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 55

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:41:46


does anybody know how to get squirrels out of your attic?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 56

     To : JANE HATHOWAY (public) (not read)
   From : LEON BOSHERDING
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:47:13


that's nothing , ifound the vienna boys choir in my diet pepsi can

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 57

     To : LEON BOSHERDING (public) (not read)
   From : A. ROONEY
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:59:05


did you eeever woonder why hot dogs come 8 to a pack, and hotdog buns come 10 to a pack. what's the difference between between hot dogs, weiners, and frankfurter anyway? by the way i found diet pepsi in my can of diet pepsi.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 58

     To : KNEAL BOORTZ (public) (not read)
   From : B. WILSON
Subject : zig zag

Date/Time : 06-13-93 12:18:47


looks like zell miller wants another 4 years as your governor, i guess there are some more taxes he wants to raise that he couldn't get raised in his first 4 years, he also raised many state licence fees to astrnomical heights. what is he doing with all that EXTRA money? by the way i found 12 ounces of a dark fizzy liquid in my diet pepsi can

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 59

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this  guy at work

Date/Time : 06-13-93 12:59:17


there is this guy at work who overuses the word great, its driving me crazy, i even heard him talking to a guy on the phone whose name was sco and i heard him say that's great scott, no joke. everything is great to this guy no in between at all. i am sick of it what should i do?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 60

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : talk radio

Date/Time : 06-13-93 13:05:41


who had you rather listen to rush limbaugh or neal boortz i prefer rush, anyone care to comment on this?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 62

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : BOZO T. CLOWN
Subject : THE ART OF WAR BBS

Date/Time : 06-13-93 15:22:36


WHO SAYS ONLY CLOWNS CALL THIS BBS?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 68

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : ERICK SIDELL
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 06-14-93 10:51:22


put a radio up there and tune it to v103

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 69

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHRIS PRANCE
Subject : Hey!

Date/Time : 06-16-93 10:43:02


I never got to see the original AOW but I'm sure it was great, try and get it back up.

Call my board at (404)-924-3587, It's Called The Chaotic Realm. Running with Searchlight 3.0 24oo, 14.4

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 70

     To : CHRIS PRANCE (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Hey!

Date/Time : 06-17-93 10:14:33


sounds like you have some problems dealing with reality, dude.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 71

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : me

Date/Time : 06-17-93 10:20:21


i am mr. cliche , i always avoid cliches like the plague. remember dimes fly when you spend them on gun, and don't forget the grass is always greener, when you mow the other sid aand in parting i say one good burn deserves some butter. this bbs is more fun than a barn full of donkeys.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 72

     To : MR. CLICHE (public) (not read)
   From : A. ROONEY
Subject : cliches

Date/Time : 06-17-93 13:07:23


did yoouu eeveer wonder why some people just can't get those old cliches right. for example, if the sandal fits strap it on. or a bird on the land is not worth 2 in the water.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 74

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : PAT COLONEY
Subject : Alternate Board

Date/Time : 06-17-93 18:23:31


Flight simmers and general modem gamers will find others at the Modem-CONNECTion 952-8981.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 75

     To : PAT COLONEY (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Alternate Board

Date/Time : 06-17-93 20:48:46


Modem-CONNECTion eh? Sounds good, I will definately give it a call.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 76

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : feds

Date/Time : 06-18-93 10:21:23


i believe the feds bumped off conway twitty, just like they did to roy orbenson

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 77

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : feds

Date/Time : 06-18-93 11:13:21


jo bob you are a very foolish person.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 78

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : this bbs

Date/Time : 06-18-93 11:14:15


this is the bestest bbs i ever seen everybody should upload or get off.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 79

     To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
   From : JAMES HARE
Subject : this bbs

Date/Time : 06-18-93 11:32:43


Oh my God, I've just found a 44 magnum in my diet pepsi, maybe it killed JFK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 81

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Modem Test BBS!

Date/Time : 06-18-93 12:25:19


If you know of anyone who attempts to use SMARTCOM EZ to access the Mode Test BBS, please report it to the SysOp immediately if not sooner.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 82

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Upload or Get Off

Date/Time : 06-18-93 12:34:19


hey, I uploaded a good file called PRO_GUN.TXT

be sure to check it out!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 83

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JIM HAYES
Subject : this bbs

Date/Time : 06-18-93 13:19:58


i think smartcomm ez is G R E A T besides it takes 2 phone lines to test a modem

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 84

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Modem Test BBS!

Date/Time : 06-18-93 15:30:25


what if they're calling from stoned mountain or kennesaw the only town in america with a decent gun law you say you moved here from chicamauga , well welcome to america

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 86

     To : JIM HAYES (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : this bbs

Date/Time : 06-18-93 22:28:28


You are an idjut.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 87

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Modem Test BBS!

Date/Time : 06-18-93 22:29:09


What's happenin' m a i n ???

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 89

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : NICK HUSTAK
Subject : Wow!

Date/Time : 06-18-93 22:58:19


This is the most interesting board I've ever logged on to…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 90

     To : NICK HUSTAK (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : Wow!

Date/Time : 06-23-93 08:27:06


i would have to agree, this is a very interestingly strange bbs i call it at least 20 times a day if not more it is a GREAT way to test your modem if everybody sent Chuck $20 he could upgrade to a 14.4 kbaud modem and maybe even to 2 comm lines

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 91

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : spread the word

Date/Time : 06-23-93 08:31:40


help spread the word about the modem test bbs I T S G R E A T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 92

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : rush limbaugh

Date/Time : 06-23-93 11:30:59


todays rush limbaugh show will be on saturday on 640 am wgst from 1 till 3 pm, it's being interruped today for some stupid ball game.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 93

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : modem test

Date/Time : 06-23-93 13:12:57


i am actually calling just to test a modem, no joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 94

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 06-23-93 15:36:14


Hey! Lay off, I have a can of diet pepsi for a hood ornament.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 95

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-23-93 15:40:27


Hey Frogg,

        I'm niether a democrap or a dumpublican, I just want to see my

constitutional right to nose picking preserved.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 98

     To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-24-93 09:28:33


you people who are in the middle of the road usually get run over!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 100

     To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-24-93 09:39:23


thats S. Frogg you want have time to pick your nose if clinton gets his way, you will be too busy paying taxes and conforming to new government regulations, and Algore only wants you to drive your automobile 1 day per week.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 101

     To : MR. CLICHE (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : CLICHE

Date/Time : 06-24-93 11:54:21


THERE IS NO USE CRYING OVER SLIT SILK.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 102

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-24-93 14:16:49


i agree bill clinton sucks

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 103

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-24-93 18:25:48


Middle of the road , B.S.! If the entire planet were under our political system there woul be no trade deficit, no taxes, no poverty, just genera political anarchy. Ah, Utopianism!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 104

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-24-93 18:29:33


Ya know driving my firechicken would be more of a gas if it was illegal!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 105

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-24-93 18:31:36


Sure, but does Hilary? Come on baby get dem dentures out and lets have some fun!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 106

     To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:05:56


i don't know what you're trying to say about what type of govt. you are for, please elaborate.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 107

     To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:09:23


what is a firechicken, and how do you drive one?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 108

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:15:55


Well ya know I've often considered running for political office my self, and if i were ever elected king i would force contentment on the entire world, ya know like free orgies for everyone thrice daily. Seriously though I think our political sys needs a complete overhaul you cant tell the difference between the canidates anymore. History shows that times like these need a dictitorial force to upset the balance a little. whereis king nixon when ya need him? I dont want to make lite of the vietnam thing, but it had its place in history, it woke people up,just like the civil war and jfk assination. yeah i know we are in this recession thing, but if your middle class employed or better it doesnt really affect you, you dont go to bed at night worrying how you can conquer the next day, you just do it and life gows on in a boring chain. you dont care about that sleeping giant country out there waiting to capitalize on the situation, you just dont think about and then its pearl harbor all over again and we are in a world of doo-doo.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 109

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:29:07


its a barnyard fowl made by general motors, and driving is simple just fully deprees horn then accelerator and dont stop for nothing, except maybe to give that cheap lookin gloria steinham looking babe a ride to her grandmother's for an eltriptophan( ya not even close) fix.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 111

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : SYSOP SORCERER
Subject : NEW BBS

Date/Time : 06-25-93 13:07:14


I am the sysop SORCERER. I have just opened a bbs. This bbs specializes in games,text,rpg's. It is called THE SERENE CHAOS BBS. Please upload as much as possible. Call between 12 noon and 12 midnight. Call me on voice first and tell me what kind of files you want to see,hangup. Then call m back at 2400bps. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. I'LL HAVE IT FIXED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

                                                                      
     ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
     ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
     ////                                                             
                THE SERENE CHAOS BBS.    (404)445-2258      ////
     ////                UPLOADS REQUESTED.
                                                            ////
     ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
     //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
                                                                      

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 112

     To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-25-93 14:52:15


sounds like you want another hitler to gain power in the us and conquer the world, this will probably happen sooner or later

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 113

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : CLICHE

Date/Time : 06-25-93 15:38:53


thats a good one here's one , let sleeping dogs die

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 114

     To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-25-93 19:04:37


You have some very weird ideas, no joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 115

     To : ROGER HUFF (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Hey....

Date/Time : 06-25-93 19:07:10


Whatever happened to that Steve Taylor guy who was going to solve all of the problems at HSC ?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 116

     To : ROGER HUFF (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : WORK

Date/Time : 06-25-93 19:08:09


About 50% of my job now is trying to figure out how to make our software work with some weird brand of modem. No joke.

I worked on modem problems all day on Friday. I worked on three problems, and only solved 2 of them in a whole day. No joke.

This is getting to be unacceptable.

There needs to be an ANSI standard on modem commands. The "de facto" Hayes standard is a joke. Everyone supports the basic "AT" commands, bu all the extended commands that handle compression, flow control, and error correction are all completely different from manufacturer to manufacturer. This sucks, no joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 117

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : STEVE DONELOW
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 06-25-93 20:38:12


WHAT HAPENED TO THE ART OF WAR?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 118

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JOHN AGAN
Subject : Nuttin' Honey...

Date/Time : 06-26-93 01:18:29


Hey, was tAoW good at all? I here it was. I think Jo Bob is cool, so don't say nuttin' bad 'bout 'im eh? I jiz havta put my fokkin' boyz on youz guyz, awrite? I kik yo' fokkin' ass from here to fokkin' ITALY! By the way, Jo Bob…please respond to this message, or I'll plant a bomb in your firechicken!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 119

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : ROBERT OLSEN
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 06-27-93 22:47:35


Jo Bob: does anybody know how to get squittels out of your attic? Yeah, leave some walnuts on the kitchen table.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 120

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
   From : ROBERT OLSEN
Subject : this  guy at work

Date/Time : 06-27-93 22:50:01


Tell him off.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 121

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : DIFFERENT GUY
Subject : Good Software

Date/Time : 06-28-93 08:23:08


Hey, I am looking for a good pirate computer game called "BUBBLE GHOST."

Anyone ever heard of it? I hear it is excellent.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 122

     To : JOHN AGAN (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Nuttin' Honey...

Date/Time : 06-28-93 09:12:13


look, i don't know what a fokkin' fire chicken is , so fokk off, dude. go and bother that fokkin paul surrett guy, i bet you're really that fokkin mr. cliche guy, any way or you're some illegal alien wwith an expired green card i think this crazy weather we are having is caused by that loud humming noise people keep hearing in hueytown alabama

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 123

     To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 06-28-93 09:21:37


walnuts are only good for twilolites, whose leader is kolak , i can't tell you rest or i would have to kill you. is a squittels anything like a firechicken?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 124

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : bbs

Date/Time : 06-28-93 09:29:44


you have got some crazy people logging onto this bbs, no joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 127

     To : DIFFERENT GUY (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : Good Software

Date/Time : 06-28-93 10:37:09


bubble g. only runs on a macintosh, using an external floppy drive , that you can get anywhere.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 128

     To : FOLLOWERS OF CHEESCAKE (public) (not read)
   From : JARED WOELPER
Subject : AARRRRRRGHHH

Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:07:21


   WHAT HAPPPPENED!!!!! 

I GUESS THE GODS OF CHEESE ARE NOT WITH US ANY MORE!! OH BY THE WAY ANY BODY KNOW WHERE I CAN GET LAND OF DEVASTATION (DOOR GAME) CALL LIGHTNING SHOCKS BBS (404) 916-1616 BEST AROUND SINCE A.O.W. WENT DOWN

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 129

     To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : AARRRRRRGHHH

Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:19:02


what do you mean what happened? followers of cheescake indeed whose got a lottery ticket, i need a lottery ticket

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 130

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : virus

Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:21:36


have you virus scanned those files in the up/down load area, just wondering?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 131

     To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this  guy at work

Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:32:36


how can i tell him off, i have t work with him everyday telling him off would only make things worse maybe jo bob will give me some good advice

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 134

     To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:51:30


i think you may have squirrels in your head. i once had a ferret in my overalls. i do not mess with gerbels.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 135

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:54:25


weird is an understatement, lunantic is better!!!!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 136

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Hey....

Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:55:52


what is the hsc ?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 137

     To : STEVE DONELOW (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:56:48


nothing hap(p)ended to the art of war , the phone number is now unlisted and only a select few people are allowed to call.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 138

     To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:58:40


the humor in this comment really escapes me.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 139

     To : DIFFERENT GUY (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Good Software

Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:59:24


hey you different guy, why do you sound so much like elvis.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 140

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : anything

Date/Time : 06-29-93 09:03:23


either leave some good messages or GET OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!þ

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 141

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : wsb,,,we suck & blither

Date/Time : 06-29-93 11:20:27


(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 143

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : anything

Date/Time : 06-29-93 13:14:28


jo bob what do you mean by good messages

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 144

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-29-93 13:16:21


i think taxes should be increased to help reduce the deficets if you mak over $15000 you shoud pay at least 45 % in federal taxes if you make over $30000 you should pay 75 % in federal taxes if you make over $100000 you should pay 90 % in federal taxes this would assure the government has enough money to run on. i don't see how anybody could disagree with this. these tax rates only make sence for america nothing is more american than paying your fair share of taxes.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 146

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Nuttin' Honey...

Date/Time : 06-29-93 18:55:08


Hahaha. Hello, Mr. Bob. Or should I say "Granny Mae". Or should I say "Earl 'The Pearl' Robinson. Or should I say "Alex 'Beefhaed' Simmons" R

Or should I say "Alex 'Beefhead Axe Brain' Simmons". Or should I say Bobby 'The Severely Sexually Handicapped' Rogers". Or should I say Peter 'Pumpkin and Egg Salad Eater". We have all of the aliases here down at the GBI main office. We're on your trail mister, and we're going to catc you. We don't know what you have done, but we'll find something!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 147

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : sex  and gore

Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:00:11


Severley Deranged is more appropriate!!! Or mentally scrambled!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 148

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:13:30


Maybe if you learned to spell you could write that up and sent it to the government!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 149

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:19:00


Hey, would you mind giving me the number to that??? PLEASE!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 150

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Hey....

Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:19:41


The HSC is the "Home Shopping Cult", on cable channel 24. They use the channel to sell discounted items to select cult members, such as altars, sacrificial accessories, goat's blood, etc. They also own and operate a 24-hour Muffler Repair/Sushi Shack in the metro Kansas City area. They have a BBS, right here in Atlanta, too! Call 666-4355 today! New Users are always welcome!* *New Users must complete a sacrifice to get validated, so be prepared

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 152

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : BRANDON BLOUNT
Subject : Insane peoples

Date/Time : 06-30-93 01:18:54


YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE! but I like it. Jo Bob, I bow to your imaginatio and piss on your grand-parents thrice-removed cat named Toby Huffy-wheel meat person. LOVE ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ahem. Does anybody remember the old softdrink pathetic attempts to give away money by having a can say "You Win!"? I heard the only winner was a man who spent 14 days in the desert with no food, water, or attractive frogs to "fokk" with. He foun the machine in the middle of the desert and put in his only 50 cents. H screamed &#%^&*>""}%&*P:$?&># and died right then. The can was never found. I hear God has a new plan for us. He made a God-woman (you know how women want so muchpower) and decided that each and every one of us will make organic condoms for his erotic deity-like love-life style thingy. Oh, well…. LOVE ME! ME! ME! ME! I thinkyou great people leav great messages and at my great place of work, I will greatly hunt down the great person who talked greatly of my great use of the great word "great" great. The great rumors of my great death have greatly been GREATLY exagerated greatly great great. LOVE ME! MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 154

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : AARRRRRRGHHH

Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:14:14


But you do have some cheese?

…Of course… this is a cheese shop!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 155

     To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : work

Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:14:57


One good way to tell if a new employee is going to be a poor employee is to follow him to lunch. If he eats at Cleves multiple times and still chooses to go back, then he or she is a poor employee.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 156

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:16:42


Anyone who agrees with a tax increase is an idiot.

Why can't we find anyone who will ADMIT that they voted for Clinton??

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 157

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:57:29


1800-eat-shit

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 158

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:01:30


i think paul surrett and tony good voted for billary clintax

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 159

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : messages

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:02:45


you people who keep leaving me messages thinking i am a queer will be sadly dissappointed, you know who you are remember the sysop can read your private messages. did you know that they have discovered ancient civilizations on Mars , but nasa is keeping it covered up,,, i saw it on tv so it must be true.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 160

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : work

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:07:24


does anybody out there actually look forward to going to work. or do you hate your job as much as i do.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 161

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : work

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:12:27


i know this guy where i work , the same guy who says the word great all the time, who would rather come to work than take care of family matters, that need attending to. i heard him say to his wife on the phone one day i am not going to miss an hour of work just to take his daughter to school, caused she missed the bus, so he came on to work and left his daughter at home this same guy also stays at work about 1 to 2 hours past his go home time, everyday nobody knows why and he wont say why when you ask him, is this a fool or what?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 162

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:37:00


i voted for him and think he's doing a fine job i hate that rush limball guy

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 163

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : work

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:38:46


why do you defile such a good place to eat, i ate there often when i worked on buford hiway the only place left still run by americans in chambodia

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 164

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:42:31


i think you mean send not sent so who'se telling who how to spell now. let him who has never misspelled a word or too cast the first stone even if he does say Jehova. i think you have been cheating on your taxes , i will report you to IRS(irwin r. schiester)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 165

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : new

Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:50:56


has anybody heard any new cliches lately???? here's one , abitch in time saves wine

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 166

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CY SPERLING
Subject : hair club for men

Date/Time : 06-30-93 10:17:38


i know for a fact that spray on hair stuff causes cancer and is bad for the environment help me spread the word ban spray on hair in a can

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 167

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : work

Date/Time : 06-30-93 12:42:06


yes, that guy is truly a fool

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 168

     To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
   From : JIM HAYES
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-30-93 14:01:07


i agree we need to pay more taxes

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 169

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JIM HAYES
Subject : Hey....

Date/Time : 06-30-93 14:03:12


i am a memember of the cult PAGAN, people against goodness and normalcy

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 170

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : you

Date/Time : 06-30-93 16:48:01


look in the mirror for a good laugh

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 171

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY
Subject : Why ask why

Date/Time : 06-30-93 18:43:01


What is this junk? Art of war to art of war jr. And now this joke abou just testing your modem? If the systop is going to keep this bbs running 24hrs a day why doesn't he just put up a good on (like the art of war) hint hint.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 172

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : BRAD FORMBY
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 06-30-93 22:28:16


Rush LIMBAUGH kicks ass! Die Democrat scum!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 173

     To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Why ask why

Date/Time : 07-01-93 01:24:05


Because, Paxy, people like you use fake names for more access time and upload adult files in the children's section and leave obscene remarks i your messages and use the alias "SYSOPSUX" and throw cans at the pigeons and put LSD in school cafeteria food and vote for Bill Clinton and work in Cleves in Chambodia and put viruses in the uploaded files to destroy the SysOp's hard drive!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 174

     To : BRAD FORMBY (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 07-01-93 01:26:44


I think you should dye Democratic scum purple, and affix small nipple tassles for the kiddies…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 176

     To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Why ask why

Date/Time : 07-01-93 09:44:52


this is not junk this is the best bbs around, if you don't like it don't call or start your own bbs and stop leaching off others.

don't you think maynard did a good thing in vetoing that domestic partnership bill, passed by the atlanta city council?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 177

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : work

Date/Time : 07-01-93 11:25:40


What is really funny is that this guy stays late at work but doesn't actually do any extra work during this extra time. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 178

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 07-01-93 11:26:46


Question: Does hard work payoff?

TRUE or FALSE ?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 179

     To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Why ask why

Date/Time : 07-01-93 11:35:58


What makes you think that testing your modem is a joke? This is serious business buddy!

I am testing a modem right now…. no joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 180

     To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : Why ask why

Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:24:14


what is a systop this is a good bbs i like to pay my taxes

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 181

     To : BRAD FORMBY (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:25:21


rush limpball is a big fat stupid dumb no nothing,,, fat

             jerk , who is out of touch with real people

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 182

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes

Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:29:25


it just doesn't pay to work hard but you need to pay your taxes chuck have you heard from eric eidbo lately. the irs is looking for him

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 183

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : you

Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:33:41


look in my mirror for a good laugh

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 184

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : compuserve

Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:34:58


how do i log on to compuserve, is it free is it as good as this bbs do i need a modem do i need an external floppy drive can i use m macintosh or do i need a pc type computer or should i get the best computer the amiga how does a modem work anyway what are some advantages of compuserve over this bbs do i have to use my real name on compuserve can i send a message to that fat slob (lush bimball) i hate bash bimbo i can't stand to listen to that guy for 3 and 1/2 hours a day, they should taaaake him off the air , so i wont have to hear him is it illegal to download r rated gif files where can i get them? i don't know much about computers, but i amlearning

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 185

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : GREYTON SIMMS
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:47:26


I WAS TOLD THIS WAS THE ART OF WAR WHERE IS THE ART OF WAR? WHAT IS THERE NUMBER? THIS BOARD REALLY SUCKS PLEASE POST THE NUMBER FOR THE ART OF WAR!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 186

     To : ANY ONE (public) (not read)
   From : JARED WOELPER
Subject : clinton

Date/Time : 07-01-93 15:12:58


I VOTED FOR CLINTON AND AM PROUD OF IT!!!! WITH HIM YOU JUST CANT WINNNN!! BY THE WAY … ANYBODY SEEN KENNEDY LATLEY OR NIXON OR PAUL LENNON OR GEORGE BUSH OR EVEN MICKEY MOUSE AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH THE CLOWNS ARE BREEDING IN THE SEWERS!! IM OKAY

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 189

     To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : clinton

Date/Time : 07-01-93 15:43:05


HEY MR. JARHEAD WALLPAPER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHY DO YOU LIVE IN THE SEWER? WHY COULDN'T TODAY BE FRIDAY?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 190

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : YOU

Date/Time : 07-01-93 15:44:55


HEY MR. S. FROGG WHAT DOES THE S. STAND FOR???HUH? CAN YOU BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE THE NAME TURNIPSEED,,,,, THIS IS THE STUPIDIST NAME I EVER HEARD OF, CAN ANYBODY TOP THAT!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 191

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : yourself

Date/Time : 07-01-93 16:44:50


jo bob, huh is your brothers name billy bob or maybe jo frank harris

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 192

     To : GREYTON SIMMS (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 07-01-93 20:04:51


1-800-EAT-SHIT

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 193

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : YOU

Date/Time : 07-01-93 20:06:26


Yeah, I can top that: Frogg!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 194

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHRIS BISHOP
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-02-93 01:05:27


Is the Art of War BBS down, or is it permanently gone? I am looking for some boards dedicated to modem play. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

Chris Bishop

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 196

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Ballistics

Date/Time : 07-02-93 02:32:54


Looking For… Ballistics data on fifty cal desert eagle. Need to ascertain components for commercial loads. If anyone has any noncatastrophic hand load data for that weapon it would also be greatly appreciated. Would also appreciate any info concerning lead fouling of the gas return port. Would like approximate number of rounds fired through which model eagle (Caliber is important here) and what ammo was used. Could also use data in lug wear of the roller bolt. 50 data is probably scarce but any info would be appreciated. Any subjective data concerning the weapon used in tactical situations would also be nice. Thank you for any pertinant info. .s ? ?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 197

     To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : what

Date/Time : 07-02-93 09:43:00


BOY! you're smart. Could you share more of your wisdom with us?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 198

     To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : clinton

Date/Time : 07-02-93 09:53:01


You're really c00l… I wish I could be like you… no joke…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 199

     To : EVERYONE THAT HAS ANY SENSE... (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-02-93 09:55:27


I can't for the life of me figure out why Chuck can run this BBS 24 hour a day, but not The Art Of War. Is it because of hard drive space, WHAT? Maybe I can help. I'm sure you get a lot of feedback about how this BBS really sucks, so I won't say anything..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 200

     To : CHRIS BISHOP (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:04:15


THE ART OF WAR IS GOING DOWN AS SOON AS THE LAST PERSON CALLS!!!!!! UNTIL THEN CONTINUE TO CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 201

     To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:07:36


TO EACH HIS OWN , CHUCK RUNS THIS BECAUSE HE WANTS TO AND NOT BECAUSE YOU WANT HIM TO APPARENLY YOU HAVE NO SENCE OF HUMOR

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 203

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : YOU

Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:34:34


I CAN TOP THAT GOOD(FORNOTHING) HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAA!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 204

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : YOURSELF

Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:40:04


HEY JO BOB, GUY WHAT IS YOUR LAST NAME, I BET ITS TURNIPSEED, OR FICKLESTEIN OR SOMETHING STUPID, FROGG IS A GOOD OLD ENGLISH NAME,,, IT GOES BACK MANY HUNDREDS OF YEARS. HEY JOHN KELLY PAY YOUR OWN TAXES

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 205

     To : S.FROGG (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : TAXES

Date/Time : 07-02-93 11:49:16


I ALWAYS PAY MY FAIR SHARE OF TAXES, YOU SHOULD TOO.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 207

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CY SPERLING
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-02-93 13:31:05


what do you people think of that barney kids show i don't like it i think its bad for kids why should my kid have more respect for a fake purple dinasaur than he does for me? i welcome comments on this

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 209

     To : CY SPERLING (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-02-93 14:24:19


hey cy , get a life

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 210

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : me

Date/Time : 07-02-93 15:34:54


i am going out of town and wont be back till tuesday, i look forwar to some good messages when i get back i have a big weekend planned, i am going over to broadick crawfords house and we are going to rotate my tires. answer: bill clinton, arelio rodriguez, bill clinton question: name a hick, a spiek and a butt lick

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 211

     To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : clinton

Date/Time : 07-02-93 18:17:44


Anyone seen Spanky lately?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 212

     To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-02-93 18:19:18


I really need a 14.4 kbaud modem.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 213

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-02-93 18:20:08


I would appreciate it if you would stop all of your damn profanity.

There is NO NEW NUMBER for The Art of War BBS. It is down.

It might come back again someday but not until I can get some decent equipment to run it on. My current computer system is 386SX 16mhz with 40 meg hard drive and is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE for today's computing need

I just don't have the money or time to run the Art of War they way it deserves to be run. My most humble apologies to all former AoW users.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 214

     To : CY SPERLING (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-03-93 00:06:33


Barney is a child molester. (The guy in the suit;not the voice) He was arrested a little while back for child molestation, but never sentenced and let out on bail. I think if they are going to have a DINOSAUR show, it should be violent,(Dinos eating kids, etc.) T.V. today doesn't have enough funny violence and death. I think the show should be more graphic and explicit in nature. Any comments?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 215

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-03-93 00:09:41


We all do, buddy!!! Quit whining and go buy one!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 216

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-03-93 00:11:17


What software are you using for this little BBS? It looks interesting.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 217

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ANDY JENKS
Subject : huh

Date/Time : 07-03-93 13:19:21


Just called cause I found the number in a magazine…what's going on here? It's a serious question.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 218

     To : CY SPERLING (public) (not read)
   From : JOHN WHITING
Subject : Barney

Date/Time : 07-04-93 14:08:04


In reply to your question of why kids respect Barney and not you. Maybe Barney has earned it…..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 219

     To : JANE HATHOWAY (public) (not read)
   From : CHRIS CRAIG
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 07-04-93 15:55:02


Now we know why they came out with "Crystal Pepsi." It's much easier to see the Hypo Needles in.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 220

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : LORD FREAK
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:16:04


Didn't you see? Its running on Qmodem Host. You know, that popular com program. Pssst! Hey, yeah you. Do you know the password to shell out to DOS? /s

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 221

     To : ANDY JENKS (public) (not read)
   From : LORD FREAK
Subject : huh

Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:17:26


What magazine do you find BBS numbers in?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 222

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : LORD FREAK
Subject : nothing

Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:18:33


Hey, Chuck, did you delete all your files from Art of War when you took it down? I never saw the former board but would guess there were some neat files on it. Put some in the d/l section for us, will ya? I'm new around here. Just call me Lordy or just Freak.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 223

     To : CHUCK (public) (not read)
   From : LORD FREAK
Subject : files

Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:21:05


Can I upload anything I want to this board? Let's make this a pirate board! Yeah! Except it kind of sucks at 24oo baud.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 224

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:53:50


This bbs is actually the "host mode" of the popular Qmodem communication package.

FYI

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 225

     To : ANDY JENKS (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : huh

Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:54:26


What magazine did you find the number in? Playboy, Penthouse or Hustler Hahahaha…

Seriously, this is the Modem Test BBS. Call anytime just to test your modem.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 226

     To : CHRIS CRAIG (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:55:19


My aunt is a diabetic and she went to the drug store to fill her perscription for hypodermic needles. When she got home she found that her needles were filled with Pepsi!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 227

     To : LORD FREAK (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : files

Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:57:04


This is a 9600 baud BBS.

Please do not upload Pirate material as I will go to jail and probably b butt-raped by a big black guy named Tyrone.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 228

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : 96oo baud modems

Date/Time : 07-06-93 00:56:42


Anyone know how much a slightly used or used 96oo baud modem cost? If yo can't find a used one, how much is a new one?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 229

     To : LORD FREAK (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-06-93 00:58:25


No, man. The shell password is not /s.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 230

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Shell 2 DOS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:00:31


Does the shell to DOS function shell to my DOS or your DOS? If your DOS, please give me the password to it! Leave me a private message. PLEASE!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 231

     To : PAT COLONEY (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Yo!

Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:03:59


You should try Renegade. It is a VERY easy BBS to install, and it is ver widely supported. I'm working on it now, and it'll be up and running soon. I'll post the number when I'm finished.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 232

     To : JOE HEWLETT (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : What

Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:05:36


Well, if you want to upload the files, do it! The AOWJr. needs them! We need them!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 233

     To : ALL NEW COMPLAINERS! (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:07:47


Hey all you new users! If you saw the old Art of War, you saw how good i was. I am speaking on the SysOp's behalf;hopefully he agrees with me; to say that this BBS is cool! It may not be the best in files, but the messages KICK ASS! If you wanna be a fuckhead and complain about this BBS, DON'T FUCKING CALL AGAIN! I don't want to hear any more complaints about the best message base in Atlanta. If you do, I'll be sure the SysO deletes your stupid, little, irate remarks from the messages! And by the way…if you have any good files to upload, PLEASE DO IT! We all would b grateful!

                                                     Thanx!
                                                     Tony Good

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 235

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : GOOD MESSAGES

Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:21:22


This is the only good message you got while you were gone. Sorry…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 237

     To : MODEM TESTERS (public) (not read)
   From : MAX HOWSER
Subject : BBS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:44:44


There is a new BBS called "En-Forum BBS". Within a few days it will be 14.4. Growing file area w/ latest updates. 404-484-8378. Keep in mind that this is new, there might be a bug or two. Just leave the sysop a note, or me "max".

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 241

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : NORMAN SWARTZKOPF
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 02:39:19


Get a life, Tony. Really. Blah, Blah, Blah, upload please? What a geek.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 243

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : GARY STEELE
Subject : Ballistics

Date/Time : 07-06-93 12:18:31


Probably the BEST place to get ballistics data for the 50 cal DE would b Magnum Research itself. After all they designed the sucker…..try giving them a call at 612-574-1868. If they can't or won't help you, they could probably tell you where to go (for the info that is….)…..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 244

     To : ANY SERIOUS WARGAMERS LEFT (public) (not read)
   From : GARY STEELE
Subject : Empire Deluxue update

Date/Time : 07-06-93 12:24:10


I got the update for Empire Deluxe last week, and called here expecting the old Art of War and had planned to upload if it no one had beat me t it. Anyone interested in a copy can leave me mail on Shareware South, Data Dimension, or PCUG's Com1 and I'll put it on one of those boards… I believe its updating to ver. 3.1. Fixes a few bugs and the like I'm told (I haven't had the free time to install it yet.).

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 247

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : GEYSERS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:21:30


DID YOU KNOW THAT 2/3rds OF ALL GEYSERS IN THE WORLD ARE IN YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, NO JOKE.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 248

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:23:01


DID YOU KNOW THTA IF DON'T CALL THIS BBS WITH AN ERROR CORRECTING MODEM YOU GET A LOT OF GARBAGE ON THE SCREEN, NO JOKE PS WHO ARE ALL THOSE WEIRD PEOPLE WHO KEEP CALLING THIS BBS. NO JOKE THIS IS NOT A JOKE , NO JOKE, HAAABAHAAAAHAAHAHHAHAHAH

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 249

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : Art of War?

Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:29:34


LOOK I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL PROFANITY IS? SO GO AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!! THE NEW NUMBER FFOR THE REAL ART OF WAR BBS IS 404-894-2$%^

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 250

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:31:49


ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT MY HERO BARNEY FIFE OR WHAT I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING SERIOUS INSTEAD OF ALL THIS DINASAUR CRAP!!! HAVE THEY EVER FOUND ANY FOSSILISED DINASAUR DUNG????

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 251

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CY SPERLING
Subject : GEYSERS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:05:07


did you know that 2/3 of all the geesers in the world are in florida and arizona

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 252

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : modem

Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:10:08


can i call this bbs even if i am not testing my modem, just wondering

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 253

     To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : you

Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:11:21


joe bob why are you such an opnoxious fool

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 254

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : MAX HOWSER
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:25:58


New BBS. "En-Forum BBS"-404-484-8378. Soon to be 14.4. Give it a call

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 255

     To : MAX HOWSER (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 15:10:55


why should we call this new bbs probably just another sysop begging for money

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 256

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : rush limbaugh

Date/Time : 07-06-93 15:12:46


now that rush limbaugh is on wgst all weekend what has happened to Slob and ROB? eric sidel is a cheapskape

why did bill clinton go to philladelphia? because they couldn't blame the crack in the liberty bell on him!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 257

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:03:17


what do you mean by a "good" file the sysop does not allow triple xxx rated stuff here. does he?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 258

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : you

Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:08:40


i guess it takes one to know one by the way how are your electro shock treatments coming you are a mental midget compared to me

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 259

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : modem test

Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:11:58


how exactly does this bbs test your modem anyway does anybody know? is it run by hayes? does this modem test . check your modem for virsus, how do i know if my modem tests ok, will i get a letter in the mail or somthing or will it be announced over the radio i am very confused, but not as much as tony good or john kelly or that idiot who wanted ballistics information for some non exsistant gun, i still laugh when i read that message s. frogg you are a coward

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     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : address

Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:20:41


where do i mail my money to for membership in this bbs and how much should i send will i also get a copy of the limbaugh letter if i act before midnight?

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     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-06-93 17:09:24


Yes, they have found fossilized dino shit, and sell it in some places in the U.S.

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     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 17:11:58


Hmmm…if the SysOp does allow XXX stuff on here, upload it. If he doesn't upload it.

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     To : NORMAN SWARTZKOPF (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 17:16:36


I think your brain is just rotting from all of that bong resin from the 60s when you did that "wacky tobbaccee" with your mom in your incestious relationships with both your parents and your siblings and your dog and Mr. Rogers and The Muppets…And also, you FUCKING SUCKED in Desert Stor To all you persons:Doesn't "Desert Shield" sound like a Maxi pad on t.v.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 265

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Yo!

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:06:20


What's wrong with Qmodem Host ?? Huh?

I am not open to any new suggestions concerning bbs software.

Thank you.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 266

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:07:44


You have perfectly echoed my sentiments concerning callers who complain.

Thanks.

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     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:10:00


Is this a joke? It wasn't quite clear from your message.

If you have a problem with line noise, you probably should have your phone line checked. Or perhaps you should use two phone lines. Or upgrade to Smartcom EZ. Or not.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 268

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:12:11


Believe it or not, this is an official geological term for fossilized dinosaur shit. It is called cocolith. No joke.

If you don't believe me, look it up.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 269

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : modem

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:13:40


I'm sorry, but you can only call this bbs if you are testing your modem.

But look at it this way…. modems can go bad at any time right? So you should test your modem daily, right? So you should make it a habit to call the Modem Test BBS daily just to be sure that everything is still working. If you are able to get through, it is a successful test.

No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 270

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : you

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:14:57


Are you any kin to David Duke?? Just wondering.

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     To : MAX HOWSER (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:15:34


Are you any kin to Doogie Howser? Just wondering.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 272

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:16:01


The only way I will call new bbs's is if they offer free pornographic downloads on the first call.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 273

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:17:30


I only allow single "x" rated stuff. Not triple "x".

Call the Buckhead Cinema for a detailed description of the difference.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 274

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : modem test

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:20:31


You realize of course that you don't have to read ALL of the messages AL of the time, don't you?

Or are you really a mental midget like that guy said?

There really is a .50 cal Desert Eagle handgun, btw. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 275

     To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : address

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:21:45


You should send $175 to:

3399 Peachtree Rd NE The Lenox Building, Suite 700 Atlanta, Ga 30326

Attn: Jim Beesman.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 276

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:23:42


I think Norman Schwartzkoff did an excellent job during Desert Storm and anybody who thinks he didn't probably voted for Clinton.

P.S. Why didn't we use the .50 cal Desert Eagle during the Desert Storm operation? Huh? Maybe because we didn't have the ballistics yet that that guy still can't find?

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Geysers vs Geesers

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:28:16


I agree with that guy that most of the geesers are in florida and arizon

Don't some of the geesers drive motorhomes to go visit the geysers at Yellowstone? Isn't this a pretty common occurance?

Wouldn't it be confusing if all of the geesers and the geysers were at Yellowstone at the same time?

Man….

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 278

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Ballistics

Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:31:27


You should call Warrior Base BBS run by Johnny Bunch. He has a lot of ballistic data available for download, but no pornography.

Or you could check recent back issues of Guns-N-Ammo magazine.

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     To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-06-93 20:38:05


I have a sence of humor. I just don't think that this is funny!

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     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-06-93 20:38:51


I have a couple of 14.4's, but unfortuantly you can't have one. /s

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-06-93 20:40:02


If you guys and gals are intersted in a cool new BBS, then call wAcKyLaNd….(404)938-7665. It is free. It is a 14.4 baud rate. It is a message and gamers BBS. Currently running under Renegade. It also has some other interesting stuff to it (heheheheh). MoonDawg…Co-SysOp…of…wAcKyLaNd

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     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Yo!

Date/Time : 07-07-93 00:51:10


I didn't mean that message to be for *you* it was a new reply to an old message. Some guy name Joel or something. I think Qmodem Host is alright so don't change it!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 283

     To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-07-93 00:54:53


How much will you sell one for? I might buy one…

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : 14.4

Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:01:52


i have several 14.4 's unfortunately they are all bad.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 285

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:06:46


you can here this same guy at work from the time he walks in the door cause he makes this clippy clop sound and he always carrys a plastic sack that rattles in conjunction with this clippy clop sound he makes , it really is driving me crazy, i have got to find a new job before i loose my mind what should i do????????????????????????????????

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 290

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : barney

Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:20:49


who pulled your string today?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 291

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:21:38


i heard tony good has a pornagraphic memory!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 292

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:23:37


what is the number for the buckhead cinema tony good wants to know???????? i am not interested in x rated material since it is illegal to transfer over the phone line the fbi will lock your ass up if they find out

what all can you see in single x, just wondering?

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : xxx files

Date/Time : 07-07-93 11:10:57


check out the xxx files in the down load section they're GREAT

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     To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : WHY?

Date/Time : 07-07-93 12:22:20


what is funny to you will???? i think this is funny as hell!!!!!!!! what happened to that fire chicken guy anyway?????

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     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : geyser vs geesers

Date/Time : 07-07-93 12:25:58


i wonder what is the geyser to geeser ratio in the world?? i think there is probably 10000 geesers for every geyser

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     To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : you

Date/Time : 07-07-93 12:33:19


jo bob , do you have the ballistics data for the 99 calibar MANLIK CARCANO ITALIAN JUNGLE RIFLE, i would be very greatful if you or anyone else who has this data would down load it to this bbs, i need this as soon as posible, this information is very important to me, i need information, please. this data should include the ambient air temperature in bothe farenhieght and celsius for which the data was obtained, and also the approximate % of cloud cover and what time it was GMT.

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : ballistic data

Date/Time : 07-07-93 13:45:17


why in the hell would the average jo want any kind of ballistic data on anything and why would they call here looking for it???????????????????

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     To : S.FROGG (public) (not read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : 50 cal desert gun

Date/Time : 07-07-93 13:47:26


the reason they didn't use the 50 cal desert eagle in desert storm was because the women could not fire them aand they were afraif of making them look bad if the men had big guns and the women had smaller guns, and some news guy found out about it and reported it.

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     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : ROGER HUFF
Subject : what happened?

Date/Time : 07-07-93 15:27:25


what happened to the art of war? and what is going on here now?

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JOSEPH ROBERT
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-07-93 15:44:08


did you know that floride has never been approved by the fda for use in water supplies floride has never been proven to prevent tooth decay however it has been proven to cause harm to teeth in moderate amounts. floride is mainly used as a pesticide, and comes in containers labeled poison, so why do we allow it to be added to the water supply, please write your congressman about this nad post this message on other bbs's

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     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : WHAT A GREAT BOARD

Date/Time : 07-07-93 17:56:39


I was looking for The Art Of War. What fool was I! This is the best boar that I've ever been on. The File area shines on its own, but the Message are truly incredible. What a power, what a finesse (and don't give me shit about spelling), what inner beauty and refinement! Outstanding. The only problem that I have is: nobody veryfied my phone number. I really don't feel comfortable at all with my phone number not being veryfied. On the possitive side, it did check my modem inside and out. This is wha I call a job well done. Thank you again.

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     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:25:46


Have you ever considered becoming a U.S. Postal worker?

You are crazy enough for the job.

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     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:26:21


You should always use an error correcting modem.

I wish other computer components could be error correcting. Such as, th computer should know when I accidently type "ckhdsk" that I really meant "chkdsk" Ya know what I mean Vern?

Speaking of Vern, what was the best of the "Ernest" series of movies? I have heard that "Ernest Goes to Jail" was the best, but I think I coul make a case for "Scared Stupid." What do you think??

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     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : geyser vs geesers

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:29:25


Advances in modern medicine continue to dramatically increase the geeser population. No joke.

We are going to be stuck with more and more geesers for a very long time

Its a veritable geeser epidemic!

Thank God for Jack Kavorkian.

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     To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : 50 cal desert gun

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:31:15


Lord knows you are the military expert. (and Apple disk drive expert.)

By the way, I got your big gun right here.

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     To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : what happened?

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:32:04


The Art of War BBS now exists in the Twilight Zone and can only be reached via a "phone call from beyond."

If you get a mysterious phone call in the night, with the eerie voice of a different guy that sounds like Elvis… and then you hear carrier tone… quickly hook up your modem for an incoming call from the Art of War. (Be sure to use only an error correcting modem, since those connections from 'beyond' are always so noisy!)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 309

     To : JOSEPH ROBERT (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:34:18


Is this message about floride a joke? It didn't say "No Joke" so I wasn't sure.

I do not drink tap water, nor do I use it for cooking. I use only Crystal Springs bottled water at my house for drinking and cooking. No Joke. I buy Crystal Springs water 4 five gallon jugs at a time and I have my own water cooler dispenser at my house.

Again, this is not a joke.

I do still use tap water for bathing, but I am very careful not to drink any while I am in the shower.

Is floride harmful if it gets into any other bodily orifices while bathing? I would really like to know this!!

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     To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : WHAT A GREAT BOARD

Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:37:19


Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Tall John.

I can verify your phone number if you wish, just leave it to me in a private message.

(I can also verify bad passwords against a master list of bad passwords.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 312

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-07-93 23:23:20


The Desert Eagle Fifty was outlawed for use in desert storm because of the KNOWN ballistics. While serving in the US Army I was specifically instructed NOT to use the fifty cal machine gun on infantry. I am sure that the ballistics are similar enough to arrive at the same conclusion. DON'T even mention the barrett rifle. All available ammo was used up in the robocop movie.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 314

     To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : you

Date/Time : 07-07-93 23:35:35


S. FROGG stands for stupid frog. the kind i would not even waste a cheap hand thrown .22 BB on. I am so sorry that my sincere request for some information makes your cloaca twitch. it seems that some people ar so easily amused. i think it would be a good idea to get the ballistics data on the eruptive emissions of your anal/cranial inversion syndrome t determine the exact correlation between exhaust velocity and temperature and whether any scientist can ever prove any difference. as far as that velocity and temperature is concerned, please use the kelvin and parsecs per femtosecond scales. we would not want to unfairly represent you on the cosmic scale of flatulance. I will patiently wait for you to poke your anus/crainum out from under your lilly pad/handle and give me more ballistics data. i want to make sure you deserve this representation and yes i know crainum is spelled cranium but i am sure you will never know the difference

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 315

     To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ballistic data

Date/Time : 07-08-93 00:00:02


BECAUSE i am not an average joe and i called this board up and noticed that before it went DOWN that it had several files that might have had that information. i never got to download anything because the next tim i called aow was down and i thought that the board would have some members who could be of help. NOT some frogg hopping lilly livered bozo who understands ballistics only as a beer fart. IF you are not s. frogg do not worry about the last line. BESIDES, I think that aow would have been a good start on finding that information. You are probably entirel correct in your statement that the info or a knowledgable person would b on aowjr. knowledgable refers to ballistically, not intellectually.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 316

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : geyser vs geesers

Date/Time : 07-08-93 00:11:47


Could you please differentiate between geezers, geesers and snowbirds?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 317

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : 50 cal desert gun

Date/Time : 07-08-93 00:13:15


Does that gun fire WADcutters or blanks. Sorry chuck, couldn,t resist..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 318

     To : MODEM TESTERS (public) (not read)
   From : MAX HOWSER
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-08-93 02:09:33


New BBS. The En-Forum, 484-8378. No upload/download ratios. ( No Joke!!!)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 319

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : WHAT A GREAT BOARD

Date/Time : 07-08-93 10:29:10


Chuck, you're kind of late with the verifying process. I like it beign done right away. So I had to call a friend of mine and he verified me instead. It took away the discomfort instantly. very nice gyu - he had done this for me before. As far as passwords go, I've never had a bad one. The foremost authority on passwords is in Belgium. He has words lists in eleven languages (I downloaded them all, of course). At that time, my password was the plura form of the word "sheep" in the Bulgarian language. SInce there is no online dictionary for Bulgarian, I'm safe for now. Later on I'll switch to Sanskrit - it has eigth tenses, four ods, singular, dual and plural forms and 10 conjugations. As you see, I like to keep things safe. If you want to know about the effects of floride on the anal orifice, read my other message.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 321

     To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-08-93 11:15:08


there is this different guy at work who wears short pants, but with a long sleeve shirt i can't figure this out?? why do people do this?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 322

     To : ANYBODY (public) (not read)
   From : HOMER BELTON
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 11:53:30


WE WERE SO POOR WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, WE HAD NO SHOES AND WE WALKED 30 MILES TO SCHOOL, IN KNEE DEEP SNOW, AND WHEN WE GOT HOME WE HAD TO WORK IN THE FIELDS TILL MIDNIGHT. NOW THATS POOR.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 323

     To : HOMER BELTON (public) (not read)
   From : BOB WEISS
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 12:21:01


thats nothing we didn't have a school to walk to we had to walk 40 miles to work in the mines for 3 cents a week, and when we got home all we had to eat was a crust of bread, then we would work in the fields till past midnight go to bed and get back up at 3 am to walk back to the mines in waist deep snow with no shoes or shirts, top that anybody!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 324

     To : EVERYBODY (public) (not read)
   From : MICK LESTER
Subject : pot

Date/Time : 07-08-93 12:48:54


man i think pot should leagealized i grow my own ,i love it…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 325

     To : BOB WEISS (public) (not read)
   From : S.BRIAN WILSON
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 12:53:40


well , that sounds like a good time to me we lived in a carboard box in the middle of the road we got up a half an hour before we went to bed, then walked 100 miles with no feet in neck deep snow to the mill were we worked 25 hours, and wwhen we got home we had a lump of cold poison to eat and then our father would murder us in cold blood now that's poor

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 326

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-08-93 13:57:30


better check that label on that bottled water you will see that it too is flouridated p.s. what does bevery stone think of bottled water p.p.s. krystal springs water come right out of a tap in decatur, no joke

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 327

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-08-93 14:03:50


what orafices do you have in mind????????????

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 328

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : S. FROGG
Subject : ballistic data

Date/Time : 07-08-93 15:37:44


i have reported you to the bureau of alachol , tobacco and FIREARMS(the feds) lets see you explain to them why you need all this ballistics data for illegal weapons.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 329

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : ROGER HUFF
Subject : THE REAL ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 15:58:12


I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ART OF WAR IS THERE A DOOR I HAVE TO OPEN TO GET TO THE ART OF WAR , OR IS THERE A NEW PHONE NUMBER ARE THESE MESSAGES FOR REAL????

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 330

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-08-93 16:31:27


I think he means the anal orifice. It is an established fact that flouride in that area causes itching, burning sensation, emotional tensions and overall discomfort in general. This problem is best treated using the Black Olive method as follows: Select a ripe, black olive (the Krinos brand from kroegers works well) and split it in half. Place one of the halfs in your mouth and gently sqeeze for about 20 sec. Then remove it from your mouth and place it in the orifice. Again, sqeeze gently - this time for 15 sec. only. Repeate this no more then four times a day. A few treatments should be enough to git rid of the burning and itching sensations. This is one reason why I always keep a few black olives handy.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 331

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : 14.4

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:11:46


What's wrong with them? If you sell them cheap, they could be repaired.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 332

     To : S.BRIAN WILSON (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:22:07


That's nothing… We lived in a paper bag in a septic tank we had to get up at midnight, 2 hours before we went to bed clean out the septic tank clean out the paper bag eat a handful of cold gravel go to the salt mines and didn't get paid nothing we had to pay them for the pleasure of working there then after 76 hours of work, come home put the goats to bed milk the lizards give the milk to the landlord then, if we were lucky, our parents would thrash us with thier belts and then kill us and dance upon our graves singing 'Hallaluyah' —Anybody wanna top that???

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 333

     To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : THE REAL ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:26:52


Yeah, uh Rogey. Just open the door in your ass that says 'welcome' and look in there. You might find somebody who can give you that info. If yo can't turn the doorknob due to the massive amount of Vaseline in your ass, well bud, I guess you're just out of luck, huh?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 334

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:43:11


Isn't it against the Geneva Convention to use .50 caliber against infantry? Isn't the .30 caliber the largest you are "supposed" to use versus infantry? I'm not sure.

I friend of mine drove an M1-A1 Abrams in Desert Storm, and he told me that they "officially" weren't supposed to use the big machine gun against infantry. But… UNofficially their tank commander told them they could blow the hell out of anybody they wanted to with it. No joke

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 335

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:47:09


Allen…. you just have to face it. Some people are just plain stupid.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 336

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : THE REAL ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:49:32


There is nothing wrong with risque messages….

but let's try to avoid the outright vulgar ones if at all possible.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 337

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : FAMOUSE PEOPLE ON THIS BBS!!

Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:52:07


Does anyone listen to 640AM WGST in the evenings? If you do, you have heard our own "Jo Bob" call in to the Kim Peterson "Flush the Lines" sho

That's right, one of our very own users, the infamous "Jo Bob" was ON TH AIR this very evening at approximately 5:15pm.

I am honored that the cheesy jokes of this message area have made their way onto the air waves of Atlanta talk radio.

No Joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 339

     To : HOMER BELTON (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-08-93 22:56:11


What do you mean poor… At least you had a school to go to…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 340

     To : S. FROGG (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ballistic data

Date/Time : 07-08-93 22:58:31


Boy are you ever going to look stupid. I have a FEDERAL FIREARMS IMPORTERS LICENSE from the FEDERAL BUREAU OF ALCOHOL (methyl), TOBACCO (wacky) and FIREARMS (fifty cal DE). Anybody in the business knows exactly what I am talking about. BY THE WAY the fifty DE can be had in several finishes and barrel lengths for about $1300 street. Owning an arsenal is not illegal, just how you use it. It took two long years to clear a MP-5 through customs. It is also virtually impossible for me or anyone to resell a firearm like the MP-5 to some irresponsible jerk because the FBI knows my inventory and you can bet that if any jerk uses a weapon similar to say an MP-5 that they will immediately pay me a visi and I better have possession of the weapon and probably some fired slugs for rifling matching. BESIDES, I can only sell the weapon to someone else with a license and the paperwork is HELL.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 341

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-08-93 23:13:58


To be brutally honest chuck, if you looked at what was left, I bet that no one could figure out if it was a fifty or a thirty. My instinct has always been that if I was in the tank and some joker jumped up close enough to pick up visually on the fifty gunsight that I would with great calm and finesse inform the crew that avon was calling. Translated>>> XXXX (deleted expletive) HAND LAUNCHER AT 300 DEGREES. What that means is that the driver will immediately go to heading 270 degrees or so and zigzag while maintaining frontal armor to avon. Presumtion that no terrain cover is available. The tank commander will immediatley unload that illegal according to the geneva convention fifty until even the san fleas will need a microscope to find bits. The gunner of course will hi MAIN on his console and launch a M833 105mm sabot round (he was expectin another tank) to "nail" the sucker and eliminate said sand fleas. Then after the driver runs over the hole in the sand everyone goes looking fo new underwear. DESPITE the fact that NO current hand launched anti tank weapon can penetrate the frontal blazer reactive chobham armor.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 342

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : usage of fifty

Date/Time : 07-08-93 23:35:38


Check with your desert storm buddy chuck. everything i wrote is on the up and up. i bet he will even complain that he did not have the 120mm smoothbore on the A2 and they would not let him take the governor off th turbine. For all you trivia buffs the M1 has a 1500hp gas turbine with hydrostatic tranny. in other words, you don't wait for the revs to hit the powerband. you immediately have 1500hp on tap off the line. the M1 (all 62 tons) can out accelerate most cars from 0 to 30. if you take th governor off the M1 it will do 70mph on hardtop. for any doubters, dig out Jane's and check. Talk to your buddy chuck. he will tell you that this aint no joke. By the way "blazer" is the semiofficial name for the reactive armor.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 344

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Sorry...

Date/Time : 07-09-93 01:40:29


Hey, man. Sorry about that last nasty message. I'm just tired of those idiots always asking "Hey, where is the AoW? This AoW Jr. sucks man!" They can all just sincerely kiss my, ahem, butt. I just like this board too much and get outraged by those idiots easily. These messages look better each and every day!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 345

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : ED MORRIS
Subject : Makin' money fast

Date/Time : 07-09-93 02:32:48


I uploaded a file called Money.doc that has instructions for a plan that lets you earn 50,000 dollars in 60 days. I've done it before and it works. Do it, dude!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 346

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : HUMANITARIANS

Date/Time : 07-09-93 08:39:00


Since vegetarians eat vegetables, beaware of humanitarians.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 347

     To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-09-93 09:13:37


can i use a green olive?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 348

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : art of war

Date/Time : 07-09-93 09:19:42


what happened to the art of war bbs i am told you now run the art of war but refuse to give out the phone number, hahahahahahah.

what happened to that paul surrit guy he was very interested in the new phone # what is a fire chicken, i still don't know is it tall john or long john, i forget??

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 349

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-09-93 11:11:05


are you calling me stupid, or those guys at work.? there is a different guy at work , who i swear wears womens perfume, you can actually smell it from 20 feet away. should i report it to the human resources dept, that this fags perfume is making me sick, or would they fire me for daring to critsize a homosexual.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 350

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : modems

Date/Time : 07-09-93 11:24:15


i don't trust 14400 v32bis modem technology i prefer a 150 baud accustic coupler

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     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : this bbs

Date/Time : 07-09-93 12:47:02


What are you talking about? This board is good!! Somebody really fooled me.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 352

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 07-09-93 12:49:35


I found a phone number in my diet pepsi can. When I called it i ended u reading messges from a bunch a jerks.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 353

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : SETH MORRIS
Subject : bbs software

Date/Time : 07-09-93 15:01:20


does anyone have a good bbs program that is compatible with 088 process EGA. It must have doors files messages chat and bulletins. if you do please upload it here.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 354

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : S.FROGG FROGG
Subject : files in download section

Date/Time : 07-09-93 15:58:13


check out hte files mia04 and mia05 in the download section, they are very interesting

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 355

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:02:32


why do you write messages to yourself stephen? i would not call a guy who has a 50 cal hand gun a jerk on a public forum. this is a G R E A T E bbs, upload a good message or get off.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 356

     To : SYSLOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : passwords

Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:07:49


i have a bunch of bad passwords to verify can the modem test bbs, verify a bad password or do i have to call a main frame type computer

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 357

     To : SLYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : password

Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:11:15


would icicarrycase make a good password???

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 358

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : external disk drive

Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:15:18


do you have any write precompensate data for the macintosh external disk drive, i need to know the spindal hub wear cofactor per 1000 write/read operations and the spring load insertion resistance mesurement after 1000 insertions. i also need the batter life expectancy if running on battery power a knee graph of this data would be very nice also, showing break down amperage to voltage ratio. please also provide the average rpm over an average read/write crc check operation. i also need the spring loaded ejection force measurements over a given time period as graphed against the ambient barrometric pressure at sea level stated in millibars thanks in advance for this data. p.s. why do some people state there disk drive space in terms of memory?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 359

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-09-93 18:58:57


How many "different guys" do you have at work? How many "guys at work" d you have? Do you work at some gay male phone sex line or something???

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 360

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : ballistic data

Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:18:58


I saw a .50 DE at the Bargain Barn in Jasper (Tate) Georgia for $1099. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 361

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : usage of fifty

Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:22:32


If you immediately have 1500 hp, then why do you have the tach idle button to increase starting power?

Just curious.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 362

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:33:06


I saw some ammo for the .50 barrett available for sale in the "Shotgun News."

No joke.

P.S. (Both single shot and semi-automatic versions)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 363

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : modems

Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:38:30


Maybe you should hook you computer up to a tin can with a string attache to it and try to communicate that way.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 364

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:39:15


I found half of a partially squeezed black olive in my can of diet pepsi

Oh no…. you don't think? Naaahhh…..

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 365

     To : MAX HOWSER (public) (not read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:23:05


Didn't I read about that somewhere . . .

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 366

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:27:16


Are you kin to Robin Hood? Just wondering.any kin to Robin Hood?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 367

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : modem test

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:28:52


Yeah I think my sister has one. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 368

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:32:04


Give him the phone number for this BBS, maybe he'll die of boredom. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 369

     To : JOSEPH ROBERT (public) (not read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:35:03


Hey Joseph! Nobody really cares OK!! By the way, did you vote for Clinton?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 370

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:37:01


Neither, it was Ernest Goes to Camp.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 371

     To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : this guy at work

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:43:28


I have a friend who does that to. When i asked him about it he said tha he was cold, but not that cold. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 372

     To : BOB WEISS (public) (not read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:44:56


My dad would beaus every night untill he'd get to tired. Then he'd make us beat ourselves.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 373

     To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : floridation of water

Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:47:44


Nobody believe him. I learned the hard way.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 374

     To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : external disk drive

Date/Time : 07-09-93 23:50:49


Generally the write precompensation factor is factory set and that info is not usefull without the head acceleration slew rate based on random seek tests (track to track if you want to be picky). Spidle hub wear is nonexistant since the spindle lies on the bearing surface and not the hub. I would like to see you hold your breath on that 1000 write/read number on a READ ONLY optical disk. Before you ask for a SPRING load insertion resistance you better make sure it is not a voice coil HD. I only want to save you embarrassment. If you want a knee graph of the amperage to voltage ratio just insert one generic diode. If you put it in backwards I am sure you will get all the amperage you can handle. Also the spring loaded ejection force is NOT relevant in a voice coil HD because they unload from a capacitor discharge. The sea/level millibar ratio wont help you much in this case because your expertise is obviousl with ancient 5mb/500ms hard drives. AND by the way join the real world and shorten that 1000/1 interleave ratio. P.S. your so welcome.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 375

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ballistic data

Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:08:00


Did he have it sitting there or did he say he could "order" it. LOTS of gun shops will get you what you want if it's prepaid and nailed with a heavy markup.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 376

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : usage of fifty

Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:11:22


I made the presumption the thing was already started. With all gas turbines you have to electrically bring up the rpm to get enough compression to fire it up. I am not familiar with the tach idle button per se but most turbines measure rpm off the starter/generator and it probably isnt a good idea to read how may amps the starter is using and the voltage that is usually tapped to read rpms. Most turboshaft engine generally run up and maintain rpm's and adjust the turbine stator blade angle to increase torque to the output shaft. The "pedal" generally increases stator angle and fuel flow together. You don't just gas a turbine and get power by increasing rpm. The tach idle button probably will allow more current to the starter motor in those nice situations where the driver shut down the motor and a few iraqi tanks roll over the hill. Spooling up rpm takes time and in combat you might not have it. THIS info is not certain. Your buddy probably has a much better idea.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 377

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:22:59


I do not doubt you but somebody must be really lame to sell "artillery" rounds in a shotgun mag.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 378

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Where are you?

Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:56:28


Again, where are you???

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 379

     To : MAX HOWSER (public) (not read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:13:18


Why is it called En-Forum?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 380

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:14:23


I'll upload some xxx files. Have you ever seen the porno version of Tetris? Porntris. /s

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 381

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:16:10


Are you a kin of Robin Hood? /s

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 382

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : address

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:16:56


Who's Jim Beesman? Is he a relation to Jim Morrison? /s arghhh!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 383

     To : MAX HOWSER (public) (not read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:21:52


You lie. Stopping messing with our minds old man!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 384

     To : ED MORRIS (public) (not read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : Makin' money fast

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:26:05


If you made $50,000 in 60 days, why the hell are you even calling bbs's. You should be in the bahamas somewhere drinking beer and really living.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 385

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : POOR

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:29:13


When I was a kid, my parents used to beat us till every bone in our body was broken, and then make us run across a field of broken glass to the postal office and work there nonstop for a week and then take us back home and eat our intestines.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 386

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : usage of fifty

Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:31:08


Damn you Randall Hartwig. Your posts are too long.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 388

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : New BBS

Date/Time : 07-10-93 10:46:15


Actually, yes. I am kin to Robin Hood.

Robin Wooten married my uncle Donald Hood and thus she became "Robin Hood." So yes, my aunt is named Robin Hood. No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 389

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-10-93 10:47:38


Ernest Goes to Camp was the WORST of the Ernset movies!! It sucked!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 390

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-10-93 10:50:31


Are you familiar with the "Shotgun News" ? It really has nothing to do with shotguns per se, it is just another gun nut publication that has lots of military equipment for sale. You can actually buy a WWII Kraut .88 artillery piece out of there… NO JOKE!

I read it from time to time just for shock factor. You should pick up a copy, you'd probably get a kick out of it.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 391

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : RANDY CARLSON
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 07-10-93 14:10:29


Get a good cat to get rid of your squirrels. Worked for Mattie!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 392

     To : RANDY CARLSON (public) (read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 07-10-93 16:40:18


Who's Mattie?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 393

     To : ROBERT SCOTT (public) (not read)
   From : CHARLES JOHNSON
Subject : huh

Date/Time : 07-10-93 17:26:39


I WANT TO PLAY WAR GAMES THAT ALL I HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THANK YOU72

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 394

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Various BBS's

Date/Time : 07-11-93 18:44:07


I was evaluating a new BBS package today called "Grapevine" so I had it up and running for a few hours.

Most of the callers (there were 6) who called into the new BBS demanded the return of the Modem Test BBS! Yes, believe it or not…. 5 out of 6 callers preferred the Modem Test BBS! So here it is…. back by popular demand…. the MODEM TEST BBS! Home of the wackiest message base around

NO JOKE!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 396

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : RANDY CARLSON
Subject : attic

Date/Time : 07-12-93 05:39:43


Mattie's a super cool person - just like Jo Bob. And if you can't find good mouser, a pet blue crab is swell to take your mind off your problem and to give visitors food for thought. My crab's name is Oscar. So far the only trick I can teach him is to dance around the tank waiting for a fresh chicken neck. Believe me, if there is any analogy for happiness - it's a crab with a fresh chicken neck!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 398

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : foreign object

Date/Time : 07-12-93 08:51:43


I'm missing a partially squeezed black olive. If you know of the whereabouts of the above mentioned object please report it to "Lost and Found" section of this board. The olive has been used, but it is in a good condition. Reward!! (Pepsi cans are not accepted as a valid answer. I have determined that some punk out there is screwing with my mind. There ain't no olives in n pepsi cans. Squirrels - maybe, but I ain't looking for them.)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 400

     To : DAVID COPPERFIELD (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : address

Date/Time : 07-12-93 09:34:02


are you related to harry houdini, or penn and teller??? just wondering, or maybe doug henning?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 401

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-12-93 09:38:37


ernest saves christmas was the "best" ernest movie, note: i didn't mention anything about guns or tanks or desert storm(slaughter) or use any fancy out of a technicial book words in this message.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 402

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : ROGER HUFF
Subject : ART OF WAR

Date/Time : 07-12-93 11:22:41


I HEARD THE REAL ART OF War was up and running on Sunday, I am sorry I missed it.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 403

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : deep thought

Date/Time : 07-12-93 12:57:22


If God dwells inside us (like some people say), I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting!! No joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 404

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : I need information

Date/Time : 07-12-93 15:42:26


I need some dat on the Grid model 1263, matrix driver assembly. I have one that has one pixel out, that nobody without better than 20/20 vision would have ever noticed. I need the matrix driver decoder algorythm for the sedat (spectrum efficient digital auxillary transmission) systems used in encrypting the matrix information for each individual pixel element. i also need to know how to increase the maximun refresh rate of each pixel element, to prevent noticable screen flicker when connected to a hud( heads up display system . i also need to know if this matrix driver system in the Grid model 1263 is compatable with a nonvga RJ-11 device, sine i will be transmitting pixel information over the phone line, using mnp data compression technology. at no greater than -9 dbm. i do not need any ballistics data

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 405

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-12-93 16:04:18


WELL,,, AHHHH,,,, YES,,, WELLLL, AHHH,,, YES WE WONT BE BEAT IN PRICE SHOP THE OTHER GUYS,,,, WELLL ,,YES,,YES,AHHH,

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 406

     To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : deep thought

Date/Time : 07-12-93 17:41:43


God does like enchiladas, but make sure you don't put too hot sauce on them. Otherwise the Lord will be kicking your butt back and forth to the can all night long. After all, if he is inside you, then your butt is hi butt. On the otherside, would He be kicking His own butt? Damn, you are right. This is deeeeep!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 407

     To : TOM SHANE (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-12-93 18:59:32


I bought my wife's wedding band at Service Merchandise. It beat the hel out of the prices at the Shane Co. and D. Geller and Sons.

No joke.

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 408

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-12-93 19:00:42


Although some people think that you will pay 20% more at Service Merchandise. (This is no longer true….)

(Was this once an old joke?)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 411

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Where are you?

Date/Time : 07-12-93 23:58:00


Yes, that 'gun guy' does bore the hell out of me. p.s. wha?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 412

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-13-93 00:03:08


One of the lesser known Ernest movies (Ernest does Dallas) was the best movie I think. See if you can find that in the video stores, but I doubt it because it was banned some years ago. No joke!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 413

     To : JO BOB (public) (read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : password

Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:05:44


WHATS A "SLYSOP"?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 414

     To : TOM SHANE (public) (read)
   From : WILL STARKE
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:12:54


WHAT THETHEHELLAREYOUTALKINGABOUT?

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 415

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:26:37


WEELLLL,,, AHHH,,,, YES,,,,, WELLLL,,, YES, DON'T SHOP THE OTHER GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 416

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:28:37


WELLL,,,,,YES,,,,YESSS,THIS IS NO WELL JOKE..YES,,,!!!;;;'

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 417

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : TOM SHANE
Subject : Where are you?

Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:29:49


WELL,,YESS,,,WHAT GUN GUY,,,,YES,WELL,,,YES????????? WHAT WELL ,,,YESS,,ABOUT WELL,,YES,,THE BALLISTICS GUY?????

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 418

     To : WILL STARKE (public) (not read)
   From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:32:50


WELLLYES,YES,YES,WELL,WELL,YES, DIAMONDS I THINK,,YES,YES,YES

(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 419

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : PHONE LINE SIMULATOR

Date/Time : 07-13-93 15:19:11


I AM GOING TO BUILD A PHONE LINE SIMULATOR SO I CAN TEST MY MODEM WITHOUT CALLING THE MODEM TEST BBS. P.S. I DON'T NEED ANY BALLISTICS DATA TODAY!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 420

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-13-93 16:23:14


i have never rented even 1 video tape,i refuse to finance the liberal agenda of the hollywood leftist. did jim varney play in this ernest does dallas movie? another good ernest movie was, "Deep Ernest" and also "behind The Green Ernest" p.s. do you have any ballistics data on the ernest movies????

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 421

     To : WILL STARKE (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : password

Date/Time : 07-13-93 16:32:52


it's a humorous variation of the term sysop i.e. syslop, now please go play in the street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 422

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : fga

Date/Time : 07-13-93 17:13:18


Q Quit QUIT /quit exit off logoff fuckoff fuckoffyousonofabitch out logout getout getthehelloutofmyface Help ? How the hell do I get out of here? This boardis not working right

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 423

     To : DAVID COPPERFIELD (public) (not read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : usage of fifty

Date/Time : 07-13-93 18:46:40


Sorry about the long posts. I try to provide as much info as possible.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 424

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.

Date/Time : 07-13-93 18:48:57


I do not recall shotgun news but I figure it would have a nice "cover" like buy this nice 20 gauge single shot 2 foot mini varmint rifle. Then on page 20 or so is this nice drill. Hey you. Yea the wimp who wants t buy this toy. Get a real gun son. Buy this "necked down" army surplus M110 mobile artillery piece. 208mm ammo extra of course… The fun par is finding out practical uses for those things. Maybe speilberg can use it as a prop to hunt a brontosaurus in the sequel.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 425

     To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : I need information

Date/Time : 07-13-93 18:59:18


Have some ballistics anyway!!! you deserve it!!! Let me try to explain this to you (start at 1st grade) why do you want the algorithm (firmware when you are looking for the driver ASSEMBLY (hardware). Also WHY do yo want the DECODER algorithm if you are ENCRYPTING the matrix info. You d not need matrix info unless you are looking at more that one pixel. (a one by one matrix does not count). Your problem with HUD flicker is based on your silly attempt to refresh the pixels instead of the frame buffer. THIS is a good place to use matrix algorithms. Well I suppose you could use the matrix driver system to transmit via a nonvga RJ-11 device (would not "phone connector" been easier to type?) but I think yo are going to have a BIG attenuation problem trying to refresh ANYTHING with a -9dbm level. I presume with your silly pixel refresh that you ar going to need terahertz capability over a phone line????? I like you, you are very funny. HEY CHUCK YA NEED A REAL MODEM TEST. I GOT A VOLUNTEER. Hey pvt kelly you better study ballistics for this lemon… Its your only hope…

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 426

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ME

Date/Time : 07-13-93 19:20:55


Shane tried to sell me a rock with a nick in it. I told him so. He sai how preposterous you lowly bufoon, impuning our merchandise like that. It came across that way. If he would have said it was flawed, no big deal. The jerk lied about it, so I left. I went to D.Geller and son found out that I had wandered into a tiny italian gangster movie where n one would give me the time of day. I got a nice ring at one third of what the others were asking at Service. Where do these people get the money to advertise as much as they do???

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 429

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Where are you?

Date/Time : 07-13-93 19:41:39


If I were to "bore the hell out of you" I would probably have to stop at one thousandth of an inch for lack of a substantial core and even then what was left probably isnt worth one "hardblown" BB before it fouled.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 430

     To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
   From : JOHN WHITING
Subject : Don't Blow It

Date/Time : 07-13-93 21:27:10


Most people use profanity due to the lack of vocabulary. Is this your case? Lets keep this board clean…please!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 431

     To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
   From : JOHN WHITING
Subject : Thanks

Date/Time : 07-13-93 21:28:50


Thanks……Santa

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 432

     To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:19:37


Did Ernest ever use a gun in any of his movies? If so, what caliber? (Please include ballistics data)

P.S. What about "I am Curious Ernest" ??

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 433

     To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Shop the Others First

Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:23:11


I too am a big fan of Service Merchandise for jewelry needs.

My favorite commercials are the ones that D. Geller and Sons do making fun of Tom Shane. UH WELL…YES…I'M IN ANTWERP AGAIN.

I just like how the word "ANTWERP" sounds, how about you?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 434

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie

Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:25:00


How about…… "ERNEST DOES ANTWERP"

UH WELL…YESS…UH….yaknowwhutImean?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 435

     To : ROGER HUFF (public) (read)
   From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Ernest Movies

Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:27:14


I think I will rent "Ernest Saves Christmas" during the upcoming Holiday Season and evaluate it's worthiness as one of the all time great Ernest movies.

No Joke.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 437

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : DAVID SX
Subject : gifs

Date/Time : 07-14-93 05:03:36


Why do some people upload gifs that is just a blank screen? Is this fun or something?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 438

     To : JOHN WHITING (public) (read)
   From : TALL JOHN
Subject : Don't Blow It

Date/Time : 07-14-93 08:50:35


Yes, I am a case, I mean, this is the case. I have a terrible lack of vocabulary. And my spelling sucks. Thank you for asking. Sorry. But now it is all "bridge over the water" as they say. I won't be blowing it no mo'. I just forget the commands once in a while and get real confused. I wish the Sysop loads his Windows, so I can point, click, drag and be object - oriented so to speak and not having to worry how to exit. Or maybe this board does not support Windows modems. I'll ask the Sysop.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 439

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : JON KELLY
Subject : NEED DATA

Date/Time : 07-14-93 09:43:35


I NEED THE AIR SPEED VELOCITY AND TAKE OFF VECTER FOR AN UNLADEN SWALLOW(AFRICAIN AND EUROPEAN VARIETY). I DO NOT NEED ANY BALLISTICS DATA TODAY , THANKS!! THAT NICK IN THAT ROCK PROBABLY CAUSED BY SOMEONE TESTING IT FOR BALLISTICS DATA,HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 440

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-14-93 10:48:07


Well, another great Ernest movie was 'The Devil in Mr. Varney'. Or was i 'The Devil in Mr. Worrell'? I don't know. Jiz go fokkin' rent it!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 441

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Shop the Others First

Date/Time : 07-14-93 10:50:22


WELL,,,,,UH,,,,,SHOP THE OTHERS FISRT!!!,,,,,MAYBE YOU'LL FIND A BETTER DEAL!!!!!,,,,,,WELLLLLL,,,,,UUUUHHHHH,,,,,YEEEEES!,,,,,HARDER!,,HARDER! ,,,DO ME GOOD!!!,,,,OOOOOOHHHH YEAH!,,,,,HEY! SHUT THE THING OFF!!!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 442

     To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie

Date/Time : 07-14-93 10:53:06


Well, another movie I found to be intullectually (but still pleasurably) appealing was "Deep Thought", starring Ernest P. Worrell as Ernest P. Worrell, and Vern starring as his beautiful sexual partner. The intro leads us to a quaint farm scene in Minnesota… ERNEST : "Hey, Vern, this barn is really relaxing, and the hay looks

        comfy."

VERN : "Okay, okay Ernest! Quit pestering me! We'll have sex here! ERNEST : "Huh? Wha…? Okay, sure!" (The screen wavers and finally blacks out and fades into the following scene…) ERNEST : "Ooooooooohhhhhhh yeah! YEEEEHAAAAWWWW! Wow Vern! You feel

        SOOOOOO GOOD, YAKNOWOTIMEAN!!!?????"

VERN : "Well, I'll tell you in the next message…" (The screen wavers and finally blacks out and fades into the next message…)

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 443

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie

Date/Time : 07-14-93 11:01:24


VERN : "OOOOHHH YES ERNEST! YOU ARE GOOOOOD! Hey, let's go have

        wild carefree sex with the ENTIRE town! Then, we'll sell
        this as a gay porno disguised as a kiddie movie! We'll
        make millions! Waddaya think, huh?

ERNEST : "Well….I'll do it! Let's go! (They both start to dress, and the screen wavers and finally blacks out. The screen fades into the scene of the town square…) ERNEST and VERN : "Hello, town. We are Ernest and Vern. We have a plan

        to make this town MILLIONS!

TOWNSPEOPLE : "Tell us, tell us!" ERNEST and VERN : "Well, we all have wild, carefree sex, film it, and

        sell it as a kidiie movie with nice-looking G-rated TV
        previews! It'll be great!

TOWNSPEOPLE : "Well, okay! Okay! You pulled our legs enough! Let's do

        it!

ERNEST and VERN to READERS : "Well kiddies, look for our new movie,

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 444

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie

Date/Time : 07-14-93 11:08:01


{continued…} called "Ernest saves the Gang Bang"! Remember, though DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT take your parents! This is our little secret… (Then the screen wavers and finally blacks out and fades into the credits…) Writer : Tony Good Producer : Tony Good Exexcutive Producer : Tony Good Prodution Assistant : Tony Good Lights : Tony Good Hair : Tony Good Makeup : Tony Good Special Effects : Tony Good Credits : Of course, Tony Good

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 445

     To : DAVID SX (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : gifs

Date/Time : 07-14-93 12:35:02


yes its a lot of fun, you should try it sometime

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 446

     To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS

Date/Time : 07-14-93 12:36:25


what about "The opening of Misty Ernest" long john or is it tall john probably has all these movies in his collection.

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg > Msg# : 447

     To : ALL (public) (not read)
   From : JO BOB
Subject : susan b anthony

Date/Time : 07-14-93 12:43:00


did ya'll know the bad publicity about the susan b anthony dollar coin was started by the federal reserve people, just ask aand i will tell you why, its another way the government makes the big bankers richer.B0100000027fed4 ŠB0100000027fed4 ŠB0100000027fed4 ŠB0100000027fed4 ŠB0100000027fed4 Š (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 448 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : SUSAN B. Subject : susan b anthony Date/Time : 07-14-93 13:47:30 —————————————- QUIT TALKIN ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 449 To : WHOEVER (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-14-93 15:23:26 —————————————- After reading all the delightful posts I missed while I was away I have several comments. 1. Why would anyone want a pistol in .50 calibre. Why not just get a 106mm recoiless rifle, add some Pachmyre grips and carry it in a shoulde holster. 2. "Return to the Valley of the Ernest's" 3. Barney is a government plot set out to enslave the minds of our children. 4. We were so poor, our ham was sliced so thin it only had one side. The soles of our shoes were so thin I could stand on bubblegum and tell you what flavor it was. At Christmas, we decorated a stump. 5.It's beter to copulate, than never. 6. I can't stop these voices in my head. Goodbye from all of us, Gunner (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 450 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : TONY GOOD Subject : When I was a kid… Date/Time : 07-14-93 15:48:57 —————————————- Hell, when I was a kid, we didn't even have the LUXURY of having a body or even any flesh at all! We were just a couple of fragments of bone fragments only a micron long! We had to carry mountain valleys from England to Montreal, Canada…walking! That's hard when you don't have any arms or flesh! We had to pay the lumberjack to work, and they still didn't so my father made us do it! Then we had to cook flapjacks for the unworking lumberjacks all day, 34 hours a day! We 'ad it toof! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 451 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : JO BOB Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-14-93 16:29:55 —————————————- you sound like a very clever person, where have you been anyway? i don't know why anybody would want a 50 cal hand gun? i think they should change the name of this board to the ballistics data bbs. those poor jokes were very funny we were so poor and our house was so small we had to go out side to change our minds. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 452 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : TALL JOHN Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-14-93 17:20:23 —————————————- Hey, Bo Jo (or was it Jo Bo). Some people have been asking where are you located. I know it now. You are in a HoJo. So, all of you people, who are looking for him, just dial 1-800-GoGoHoJo and ask for JoBo. As far as the movies go, I do have them in my personal collection, but a the moment I'm unavailable to make any comments, because this Whithing guy will be going after my ass again. No joke! What does "no joke!" mean anyway. Is that some kind of a joke? I am serious, I really don't understand that. No jok… (Uhhh… never mind, think I got it.) (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 453 To : TALL JOHN (public) (read) From : TONY GOOD Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-14-93 18:20:56 —————————————- Hey, if a HoJo is short for Howard Johnson, then what would Howard Monso be? HoMo? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 454 To : THE ART OF WAR (public) (not read) From : MILAN MEHTA Subject : chitty chat Date/Time : 07-14-93 20:48:40 —————————————- Dear Humans, Greetings from outer space!For the past two years we have been observimg you from mars and we believe you are highly unintelligent. We shall be invading your planet within this year C C Cyour friend,@#@$%^&amp;*8 (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 455 To : DON GRAY (public) (not read) From : MILAN MEHTA Subject : THIS BOARD SUCKS Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:00:07 —————————————- yo mama suck my wang wa ng. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 457 To : MILAN MEHTA (public) (not read) From : TONY GOOD Subject : chitty chat Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:36:35 —————————————- Dear Mars, Greetings from outer space!For the past two years we have been observing you from earth and we believe you are highly unintelligent. We shall be invading your planet within this year C C Cyour friend,*^%$*^#^&amp;%6 (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 458 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:51:15 —————————————- HEY JO BOB watch the movies and tell US about the guns and ballistics. am getting tired of doing all the work you lazy bum… (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 459 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:53:05 —————————————- It's kind of funky that he mentions antwerp as the diamond capital of th world. It is as a trading spot for worldwide dealers. To the best of m knowledge most diamonds come from south africa and russia. if BOTH of the bozo's had done their homework they would buy the raw material at "rock bottom" prices and process the stones themselves which would save whole bunch of money. It always helps to cut out several expensive middlemen. It would not look good to say I am now is south africa or russia. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 460 To : JON KELLY (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : NEED DATA Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:59:31 —————————————- air speed velocity is two kiloparsecs per second and the takeoff vector is within an arcsecond or so of the crab nebula. If you swallow any unladen things you have failed your ballistics test and no useful data i available. we do however recommend that you check your exhaust port for stuck rocks so that the resulting ballistics do not nick said port. We recommend ballistically applied glycerin suppositories in case you need to pop out and take a look around. we are NOT RESPONSIBLE for any resulting constipation. Please consult your federal, state and local ballistics laws…P.S. What is so funny??? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 461 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-14-93 22:09:40 —————————————- because NOBODY ever made a 106MM recoiless rifle. 105 sounds better (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 462 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-14-93 22:12:59 —————————————- Ballistics data BBS your leaden butt bozo. I have not seen ANY ballistics data at all on this board. I do think that the Earnest BBS would be more appropriate (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 463 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : TONY GOOD Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-14-93 23:17:02 —————————————- Don't worry, man, the Ernest BBS is on it's way… Coming to a modem connection near you…it's…It's…IT'S!… THE ERNEST P. WORRELL BULLETIN BOARD SYSTEM! YES, THAT'S RIGHT! THE ERNEST P. WORRELL BBS!!! Just wait, due to open in mid-August! Brought to you by the fine people at Exxon- "By the way, I'm not drunk…<BURP!>…no, I'm fine…I..just….. ..ahhh…yah…that one was a TRUE beer fart…ooooo…What Died!. ..oh, yeah, where's the keys to the tanker, huh?…<BARF!!!>..no.. I'm just having, uh, stomach problems from, uh, ummm, ulcers! Yeah from the stress of driving a demolition derby truck - er, oil tanker that is, all day…okay…you can drive…" 'Remember to eat your plunger!' (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 464 To : MARSIANS (public) (not read) From : TALL JOHN Subject : WE WERE SO POOR… Date/Time : 07-15-93 08:57:49 —————————————- We were so poor that when the first Marsian invaded, we had nothing to give him but baked shit with potatoes and corn cob in the butt. Now were are evemore poor. We ran out of the shit with potatoes, but we got plent of corn cobs left. When are these Marsians exactly comi anyway. I want to be ready with the corn cobs. P.S. Using vulgarities indicates lack of vacabulary. Don't blow it. Try to keep this board clean… PLEASE!!! P.S.S. I have nothing against Marsians. I'm an equal opportunity corn co distributor. If you ask for one, I'm gonna give it to you. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 465 To : SYSOP (public) (not read) From : TALL JOHN Subject : Tha Marsian and his language Date/Time : 07-15-93 09:22:52 —————————————- This is in regard to message #455 from 07-14-93, 21:00:07 hours send by Milan Mehta. I found his message highly offensive, so I called some buddies of mine and had them put a trace on the sucker. He is: Milan Mehta 1143 Pin Oak Dr Tucker, GA Tel:938-0382 You can sue him if you want to. He can be facing up to 6 months in jail and up to $12000 fines. Or we can do something on our own. This phone number is the real thing. Or he might be smart enough to call back and appologize. We'll see. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 466 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : JON KELLY Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-15-93 09:47:49 —————————————- IF YOU BOUGHT A DIAMOND FROM HARTWIG , WOULD IT COME WITH A BALLISTICS DATA SHEET? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA YES,, UH,,YES,, WE SUPPLY BALLISTICS DATA WITH ALL DIAMONDS UH,WELL AT THE HARTWIG CO. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 467 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : JON KELLY Subject : NEED DATA Date/Time : 07-15-93 09:58:13 —————————————- "WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" SURELY , YOU DONT WANT ME TO ANSWER THAT!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA AHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 468 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : JON KELLY Subject : DATA Date/Time : 07-15-93 10:11:23 —————————————- IF I INVERT AND AMPLFY THE FLAY ROD SKEW ON THE TREDLE WILL THIS RESULT IN AN ICREASE OR DECREASE IN THE HARMONIC DISTORTION OF THE SCHMITT TRIGGER(NOT TALKING ABOUT A GUN HERE BUT A WELL KNOWN CIRCUIT ) ACTIVATION ELEVATION EVALUATION AMPLYFICATION FACTOR AS COMPARED TO A HIGH Q FACTOR TANK(NOT TALKING ABOUT A ARMOURED VEHICLE) CIRCUIT USING STANDART RC AND LC COMPONENTS OR SHOULD I JUST SCRAP THIS AND USE THE OLD RELIABLE NE555. P.S. 90% OF THE DIAMOND MARKET IN THE WORLD IS CONTROLLED BY DEBEERS OF LONDON, NO , AS YOU SAY JOKE. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 469 To : TALL JOHN (public) (read) From : JO BOB Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:17:00 —————————————- i am not at the hojo , but i am at the ritz-carlton yes no joke is kind of a joke initself ,dort of like the i need ballistics data joke, no joke! i do forget is it long john, tall john ,or john kelley or long dong silver, or clearence thomas or anita hill, who knows? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 470 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : JO BOB Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:21:05 —————————————- why do you send a message to chuck hood , when its ment for me no joke,no joke , no joke, no joke, no joke ballistics data ballistics data ballistics data ballistics data if you need any more ballistics data let me know, no joke (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 472 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : JO BOB Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:27:00 —————————————- here is some ballistics data you heavy ass clown,10101000101100001 1001001000100100001111110000000001001010101101010001011111000 10010101010101010001001110000000111010101010101010101010101010 101010101010101001010100000111101010101001010010100101010 100101001010010010101010100101010101 0101010101010101010101010101010 101010101001010010101001 no joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0000000000000000000000GUN101000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 1010000000000000000000NUT101001101010000000000010101010010010101010 101001010010101010101010010010101001010100101010101001 1001000000000001010010100100101010010101010010101010 101001010010100101 (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 473 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : JO BOB Subject : speed Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:30:42 —————————————- if call in at 9600 baud , do i haave to type in my messages faster than if i call in at 2400 baud? just wondering???? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 476 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : TALL JOHN Subject : speed Date/Time : 07-15-93 14:52:43 —————————————- If there is a sticker on your modem saying "Intel Inside", you don't haave to type your messages faster then usual. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 477 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : Where I've been… Date/Time : 07-15-93 16:30:25 —————————————- Jo Bob, Thank you, I think of my self as being very cleaver. Ward Cleaver as a matter of fact! I went away when the old AoW died it's horrible death an I called the other day to see if maybe it had been ressurected. I was saddened by the fact that it wasn't, but I laughed my ass off at some of the messages I read. So, I decided to join the fun! And boy I'm glad I did! I'll post again soon! Ward "Gunner" Cleaver (or as June says…"you were a little hard on the beaver last night Ward!") (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 478 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : 106mm Recoiless Rifle Date/Time : 07-15-93 16:36:21 —————————————- Randall, The Recoiless Rifle was INDEED manufactured in 106mm calibre. From about 1940 on. If you doubt my information, check any edition on Jane's Infant Weapons from 1945 to the present. I think you may be getting the 106mm R confused with a 105 Howitzer. Believe me, the 106 exists, I almost had m eardrums ruptured by one while I was stationed in Korea! BTW, do you work in Marietta. And did you recently attend a suprise B'da party at a chinese resturant? If you are the same RH, I still owe you a modem! Reg P.S. You must name the resturant to claim your prize! >From somewhere in the bilges aboard the USS Ward Cleaver, Gunner "The Beaver Hammer" Mathis (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 479 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : BOY GEORGE Subject : I'm BACK!!! Date/Time : 07-15-93 18:41:36 —————————————- karma….karma…karma…karma…….karma chameleon………. No Joke! Boy George (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 480 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : STEPHEN HARRIS Subject : Where I've been… Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:11:53 —————————————- so is your name ward cleaver or greg mathis and quit gettin' hard with the beave (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 481 To : TALL JOHN (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : Tha Marsian and his language Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:46:49 —————————————- HEY tall john. in reference to this milan mehta dude. Ya wanna borrow fifty cal desert eagle??? FREE .50DE action express ammo. One stipulation though. You gotta gimme the ballistics data. Providing you leave enough to analyze. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 482 To : JON KELLY (public) (not read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:50:14 —————————————- Hey jon boy you ought to know ALL diamonds come with ballistics sheets. Take one good look at that rock and you would go ballistic too!!! AND I AINT FUNNY. too much money for a chunk of carbon (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 483 To : JON KELLY (public) (not read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : NEED DATA Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:52:33 —————————————- I am glad you are so easily amused jonny boy. I can tell you are suffering from a lot of compression and NO error correcting. I also recommend that you fix your keyboard. It is stuck on a's and h's. I do not think there could be any other intelligent explaination. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 484 To : JON KELLY (public) (not read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : DATA Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:58:17 —————————————- How creative jonny boy. you are improving some… Not good enough for a reply though. STUDY hard and try again (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 485 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-15-93 20:00:00 —————————————- I sent a message to chuck because i put my two bits in concerning a PUBLIC message. IF you are so self conscious make it a PRIVATE message. By the way "no joke" is probably trademarked by a certain chuck. It really bites when someone has to rip off material because he has none of his own.. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 486 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-15-93 20:04:11 —————————————- HEY JOJO BOOB quit being a baby. This aint no fun unless you are giving up. I didnt mean to make you cry. you can have your coloring book back… (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 488 To : SYSOP (public) (not read) From : SCOTT HESLON Subject : HELP! Date/Time : 07-15-93 21:07:16 —————————————- Hello! I ust came to town. I have a modem but no numbers to call except yours. Please leave me a message and/or call Scott at 428-5021 and leave a few numbers (or just one with a downloadable list). I will be eternally grateful. Your computing pal, Scott (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 489 To : MILAN MEHTA (public) (not read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : chitty chat Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:38:54 —————————————- At least we are intelligent enough not to spew garbage characters into the bodies of our messages. Jeez. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 490 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:40:07 —————————————- But isn't it fun to just say the word "Antwerp" ?? I think so…. I say it all the time… ANTWERP ANTWERP ANTWERP! Boy… that was almost orgasmic. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 491 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : All encompassing… Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:41:20 —————————————- Hey… don't cut down my cozy little bbs here over some silly ballistics data disagreement you are having with Jo Bob. I have seen many garbage characters in some recent messages…. this jus reinforces my mission to be sure that everyone is able to TEST THEIR MODEM at any time. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 492 To : TALL JOHN (public) (read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : Tha Marsian and his language Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:44:05 —————————————- Hey… thanks for the phone number! Everyone call Milan at 938-0382 an tell him he is in big trouble. Hahahahaha (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 493 To : JON KELLY (public) (not read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:44:45 —————————————- Why don't you like that poor guy alone about the ballistics data already Why is this funny? (I'm not saying that it's NOT funny…. I just want to know WHY it's funny) (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 494 To : JON KELLY (public) (not read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : NEED DATA Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:45:41 —————————————- Don't call me Shirley. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 495 To : JO BOB (public) (read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : speed Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:47:12 —————————————- For a typing test… you should call in at 300 baud and see if you can type faster than the characters will echo to the screen. Trust me… this CAN BE DONE. Yet another use of the modem test bbs…… (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 496 To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : Ernest Movies Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:48:03 —————————————- I boycott all cable companies as I believe they are all controlled by th mafia. No Joke. Did you know that it is impossible to get cable service in Atlanta without giving your social security number, even though doing so is a clear violation of the Privacy Act of 1974?? No joke!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 497 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : MODEMS Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:51:32 —————————————- I hereby release the phrase, "No Joke" to the public domain. (nevermind the fact that I couldn't copyright the English language even if I want to.) …and I must credit one ROGER ALLEN HUFF with the original usage of the phrase "No Joke", from whom I blatantly stole it. Sincerely yours, Charles Douglas Hood (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 498 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : VINCE REYNOLDS Subject : I Like It Date/Time : 07-16-93 00:51:41 —————————————- I like the board, So what kind of files do you want to have uploaded??? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 499 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : VINCE REYNOLDS Subject : Poor Date/Time : 07-16-93 00:53:26 —————————————- When I was a child my family was so poor we couldn't afford to pay attention!!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 500 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : VINCE REYNOLDS Subject : Therapy Date/Time : 07-16-93 00:55:26 —————————————- Have you ever considered a little DEMEROL to curve that hostility?!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 501 To : RAY SPITZ (public) (not read) From : AND CHANDLER Subject : BBS Date/Time : 07-16-93 01:07:05 —————————————- so did I (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 502 To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : Where I've been… Date/Time : 07-16-93 05:43:07 —————————————- Stephen, My secret agent name is Ward Cleaver. My real name is Reg. R_R_Reg! (Boy I hate it when dyslexics get a computer!) But you can call me Gunner. BTW, that reminds me. I got stopped by a cop with dyslexia last week, he gave me an IUD!! Well, time to go and paint the foc'sle. We'll talk again soon. Ward"Gunner"Cleaver Weapons Officer Uss Ward CleaverSSMainte cece OfficerUSSSomewhere off the coast of the June's Gulf (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 503 To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : 106mm Recoiless Rifle Date/Time : 07-16-93 05:50:16 —————————————- Randall, Sorry about the delay in delivery. I never got up your way(yet). I will get it to you soon. Be careful, theres a very suspicious character lurking about asking questions. He tried to get me to divulge my real name. DON"T TELL HIM ANYTHING! I think he may be a spy from that "New Leave it to Beaver" show. And don't snicker at the Ontos! If you'd ever seen what a full barrage of beehive rounds could do, you'd change your tune! Oh well, time to patch the hull, Ensign Ward Cleaver Damage Control Officer USS Ward Cleaver Home Port:Ward Cleaver, WC (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 504 To : SCOTT HESLON (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : HELP! Date/Time : 07-16-93 05:59:03 —————————————- Here's that suspicious character again. First he wants our REAL names, now he wants our numbers! OK Mr. Smartguy…what was Lumpy's last name? If you can answer this, we will continue with your security check… if you answer incorrectly…you win a .50 cal Desert Eagle round. And collect your own ballistics data. In the meantime, here's a number for you -4- Wally Cleaver Security Officer USS Ward Cleaver (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 505 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : chitty chat Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:03:46 —————————————- Chuck, Back off, dude! Maybe it is some kind of religious thing. You must learn to be more sensitive! Did you realize that his name spelled backwards is Nilam Athem! Boy, that will make you think! Theodore Cleaver Cryptography Officer USS Ward Cleaver (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 506 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:06:50 —————————————- Did you realize that ANTWERP spelled backwards is PREWTNA! More "making you think stuff" stuff. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 507 To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : I Like It Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:09:15 —————————————- Women! Naked Women! Naked Women doing unusual things with barnyard animals and used car parts! Naked women doing ANYTHING with black olives and cans of yellow spray paint! Capt. Eddie Haskell Morale Officer USS Ward Cleaver P.S. You're looking particularly lovely today, Captain. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 508 To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : Poor Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:15:31 —————————————- Vince, Nice try, but remember, as you were warned in the opening credits, these people are professionals…DON'T try this at home without supervision! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 509 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : More ballistics data Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:19:00 —————————————- OK, can anyone give me the ballistics data on a cylinder of feces propelled by flatulence as a result of eating an enchilada platter from El Toro? I think I cracked the toilet bowl! And boy, those jalapenos were FRESH! Ward"Ring of Fire"Cleaver (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 510 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : JO BOB Subject : all Date/Time : 07-16-93 09:57:35 —————————————- we were so poor we could not afford any ballistics data while watching leave it to beaver through the barrels of out 50 cal. desert eagles and our 106mm recoiless rifles, so we went next door and borrowed a cup of ballistics data from our neighbor, no joke!!!!!!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 511 To : SCOTT HESLON (public) (not read) From : TALL JOHN Subject : HELP! Date/Time : 07-16-93 11:23:38 —————————————- Dear Scott, I am confused and bewildered. I'm astonished! I'm outraged! How is it possible for anybody who had seen THIS board to ask for numbers of other boards?? Let me tell you something about the situation on hand. We are a closely knit society of top notch professionals dedicated to modem testing and ballistic data gathering. We are on the cutting edge of a variety of subjects, such as black olives and bodily orifices, Earnest, squirrels i atics, the philosophical meaning and the ontological significance of being poor - just to mention a few. We have succesfully dealt with Idiots, Marsians and other earthly and cosmic assholes (as opposed to black holes, since a black hole can be thought of as the asshole of the Universe, which is a more general term). We are pioneers in many areas and this here board is the birthplace of trends and behaviors taking place throughout the modern world, as we know it. But if you still insis on obtaining some phone numbers, read my next message (titled Numbers). (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 512 To : SCOTT (public) (not read) From : TALL JOHN Subject : Numbers Date/Time : 07-16-93 11:37:08 —————————————- Dear Scott, The records of this board inicate that our members have been interested in two phone numbers only. One of them is 1-800-EAT-SHIT.It has been said that this number will provide you to an access to the old ArtOfWar (only on a Sunday, on a ful moon, as I understand it). The other number quoted is 1-800-GoGoHoJo which should put you in touch (please, be mindful of what you touch) with the famous radio personality and the foremost ballistic data analyzer, Jo Boobs. Both of this sources should provide you with plenty of entertainment. Bu if you're in a need of spiritual healing (as your question indicates) yo might call Aion "Spiritual Healing and Metaphysical Board" on 640-9670. Accidentally, they have a list ABBsomething of all the Atlanta boards. And please, don't forget to check your modem. Anybody who finishes with "your computing pal" needs a check of some kind. Thank you again, and don't be a stranger. Call us soon!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 513 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : VINCE REYNOLDS Subject : I Like It Date/Time : 07-16-93 14:04:49 —————————————- Hey Reg, You sound HARD up I don't think I have ANYTHING that you described But will a gif from a proctologist manual do??? Or maybe a picture of my dog doing a firechicken!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 514 To : ANYBODY (public) (not read) From : JO BOB Subject : upload Date/Time : 07-16-93 14:37:05 —————————————- would somebody scan and put into a gif file the rush limbaugh news letter everymonth and then upload it here? that would be a great modem test!!!! personal to r.hartwig when i say scan i mean to put into a digital format which can be transmitted over the phone line and uploaded into a computer file. no joke (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 515 To : CHUCKY HOOD (public) (not read) From : JO BOB Subject : english language Date/Time : 07-16-93 14:42:25 —————————————- are you sure you can't copyright the english language i've heard if you gave a monkey a typewriter and enough paper he would eventually come up with the entire works of william shakespear or is that just an urban leagend? i still can't remember is it long john, tall john, short john big john, john john, or fritz the wonder cat? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 516 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : VINCE REYNOLDS Subject : Gif's Date/Time : 07-16-93 15:46:19 —————————————- I think I found a gif for you. Check out EW66. I probably could have put a better one the board, but I couldn't find the proctology manual. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 517 To : JO BOB (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : english language Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:15:38 —————————————- Actually, Fritz the wonder cat was a horribley vicious guard at Auschwit (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 518 To : JO BOB (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : all Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:18:08 —————————————- We were so poor we couldn't afford BALLET data, much less ballistics dat and we had no TV to watch since we lived INSIDE the barrel of a .50 calibre DE. There just wasn't any room for a TV. So, we used to go over to our neighbors who were a little better off and lived in a 106mm RR barrel and had more room. And we had to EAT what the beaver left. And if we were VERY good and VERY lucky, we MAYBE got a thimble full of ballistics data at Christmas. But that was not very often. Jo Noke! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 519 To : TALL JOHN (public) (read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : HELP! Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:23:58 —————————————- TJ, Well said! Hearhear! Good Form!!! But you forgot to mention our extensive research into the infamous Cleaver incident. Rear Admiral Ward Cleaver USS Ward Cleaver (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 520 To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : I Like It Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:26:36 —————————————- Vince, I have NO idea what you are talking about. However, if I DID know what you were talking about, I would have to say that neither of the aforementioned .gifs is adequate. Now if you had a picture of a proctologist doing a firechicken, we might be able to do business. BTW, I went to my proctologist last Monday for my anal annual. After getting ready and bending me over he inserted TWO fingers. When I asked him why he had used TWO fingers, he said he just wanted a second opinion HAHAHAHAHAHA…get it…TWO fingers…SECOND opinion….oh fukit! I still can't stop these voices in my head, And Barney the Dinosaur keeps telling me to murder all the people on my block! From somewhere in Argentina, your friend, Idi Amin Dada (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 521 To : JO BOB (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : upload Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:33:57 —————————————- I second Jo Bobs motion. Now THATS entertainment! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 522 To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (not read) From : STEPHEN HARRRIS Subject : I Like It Date/Time : 07-16-93 22:36:07 —————————————- anything please, except for phony porno gifs. We have plenty of those. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 523 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : Shop the Others First Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:37:08 —————————————- Almost!!! Oh well. Some days are diamonds and somedays are stones… (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 525 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : Ernest Movies Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:46:54 —————————————- You think nosy cable companies are bad. I once had to cough up my ssn t be a sub in a bowling league. FACT (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 526 To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (not read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : Therapy Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:49:05 —————————————- YO VINNY let me tell you something. No hostility intended. I have had several occasions where I could have legally "drilled" some HOSTILE people and I took it and walked away. I sincerely thank you for the in depth character analysis and the benefit of the doubt you have given me based on some messages I have spuriosly left on this BBS. I assure that a hostile individual with a loaded weapon will have some serious problem (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 527 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : 106mm Recoiless Rifle Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:58:56 —————————————- GUNNER. your security clearance has now been raised to cosmic top secre atomall. (this is a government security classification that exists) FAC you are now allowed to clean the commanders commode. you are also allowed to tell all congressmen so they may get cheap browny points with some local nobody like "see i am special, i have this secret info". National Security Be Damned. Those boys can blow any secret. Saw Hot Shot 2 today. I liked some of the props. I thought it a bit painful when the oriental fighter spit out the walnuts. I was sympathetic. Beehive aint no fun. I heard some nice stories about fletchette rounds used in long tube arty. Gives a new meaning to "stick around". Got a new mission from SOG HQ. 3 AM mission to retreive my sanity. Mak sure your scuba equip is combat ready. If the Ward gets sent to the persian gulf to drop off a "package" don't blame me. I just follow orders. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 528 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : I Like It Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:13:08 —————————————- Captain Haskell i want to inform you that playmates popping out of large round objects is allowed ONLY on battleships. Last I looked I found no registry for the USS Ward Cleaver. I did see some confused reference to the Montana class battleships but I need to communicate with your Quartermaster on that one. What is your displacement??? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 529 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : More ballistics data Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:18:02 —————————————- Enchilada Ballistics Eh! My database has reference material on that one You are one lucky person. The energy dissipated in cracking the bowl probably reduced projectile energy enough to prevent a richoccet and a severe posterior injury. Fortunately the cylinder was a softnose projectile that did not ignite the flatulance upon impact with the bowl. That was tried once as a prop and danny glover blew his commode right ou of his house!!! The softnose round probably inflicted a lot of shrapnel damage when it disintegrated upon impact. I have designed a wildcat round using scotch bonnets in the enchiladas. The navy tested it as a 1 inch tracer round aboard the USS Ward Cleaver. The mess officer has not cleared its usage due to insufficient amounts of ice cream on board. Please contact weapons officer aboard the USS Ward Cleaver for all pertinant ballistics data. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. THE ORDINANCE OFFICER WILL NOT REPLACE BURNT OUT BARRELS. (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 530 To : JO BOB (public) (not read) From : RANDALL HARTWIG Subject : upload Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:34:35 —————————————- When you say digital format is that binary or appendages? (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 531 To : VINCE (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : 5.5 Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:49:38 —————————————- Vince, Now you're getting there. Keep at it. Gunner (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 532 To : ALL (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : Harrassment Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:50:36 —————————————- Sirs, You are instructed to stop harrassing my client. If your abrasive action do not cease forthwith, we are prepared to bring forth the full weight of the Penal Codes of the Great State of Georgia. Sincerely, Cleaver C. Cleaver Cleaver, Cleaver, Cleaver, Cleaver, Eldridge, Earnest and Vern Attorneys at Law (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 533 To : REG MATHIS (public) (read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : HELP! Date/Time : 07-17-93 13:42:44 —————————————- The Gays in the Military issue gives whole new meaning to the term "Rear Admiral" No Joke! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 534 To : THE BEAVER (public) (not read) From : CHUCK HOOD Subject : USS Ward Cleaver Date/Time : 07-17-93 13:46:55 —————————————- How can one sign up for a tour of duty aboard the USS Ward Cleaver? (Just a "standard" tour.) Seaman Cleaver. (Ugh… that has a weird ring to it. say it out loud.) Seaman Cleaver, Seaman Cleaver, Seaman Cleaver!!!!! (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 535 To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (not read) From : REG MATHIS Subject : USS Ward Cleaver Date/Time : 07-17-93 16:19:11 —————————————- Chuck, Thats also another name for Prince's front teeth Semen cleavers! Yes joke!! BTW, you cannot sign up for a tour on the USS Ward Cleaver, you can only win an assignment there by continually whining "Dad tell Walley to stop bugging me…" (R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 537 To : G E (public) (not read) From : DONALD HALL Subject : Is this correct (Y/N)? Y Date/Time : 07-17-93 17:00:57 —————————————- ter a password: **

 Please verify: *

Enter a password: *

 Please verify: *

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 538

     To : DONALD HALL (public) (not read)
   From : RALPH WARTHOG
Subject : Is this correct (Y/N)? Y

Date/Time : 06-26-95 18:50:44


The legendary modem test bbs lives!!!

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt; Msg# : 539

     To : DONALD HALL (public) (not read)
   From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : Is this correct (Y/N)? Y

Date/Time : 06-26-95 18:54:03


Damn, I feel like i've been stuck in here forever. What year is it?

(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg &gt;

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/data/webs/external/dokuwiki/data/pages/archive/messages/modemtest.txt · Last modified: 2001/10/13 08:17 by 127.0.0.1

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