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archive:humor:sayings.hum

The following is a list of famous sayings as you have never heard them before. See how many you can figure out.

Hint: Number 1 is "twinkle, twinkle, little star".

                    CELEBRATED ORACULAR UTTERANCES
                         Phill Caron 3-2-86
  

1. Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minific.

2. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.

3. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

4. Surveillance should precede saltation.

5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed

  lacteal fluid. 
  

6. Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with

  innovative maneuvers. 
  

9. Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled

  saucepan does not reach 212 degrees F. 
  

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly

  auriferous. 
  

12. Where there are visible signs of vapors having their prevenience in

  ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration. 
  

13. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiate

  the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles. 
  

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.

16. Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.

17. Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised

  to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles. 
  

18. Neophyte's serendipity.

19. Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interlude of

  hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow. 
  

20. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small,

  green bryophytic plant. 
  

21. The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the

  optimal cachinnation. 
  

22. Abstention from any elevatory undertakings precludes a potential

  escalation of a lucrative nature. 
  

23. Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential of

  fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain
  innocuous. 
  Need hints?

2. avian = birds 3. pulchritude = beauty 4. saltation = leaping 5. lachrymose = tearful 6. rectitude = upright moral character (don't be too literal) 7. claymore = a Scotish weapon capable of slicing off body parts 8. superannuated = old 9. scion = offspring 10. aqueous = water 11. auiferous = (literally) golden metal 12. prevenience = antecedents (lotsa help? means what came before) 13. mendicants = beggars 14. steeping comestibles = making broth 15. eleemosynary = charitable 16. cadavers = bodies (but you knew that didn't you) 17. petrous = stony 18. serendipity = good fortune (from the 7 princes of Serendip in

  Candide who always had good things happen even though their
  plans always went awry)

19. hebetudinous = dull 20. lithic = stony (as in paleolithic = stone age)

           & congeries = collections

21. cachinnation = laughter 22. lucrative = profitable, but maybe gainful is a better clue 23. osseous = bony

  Quite possibly you find the Greek and Latin easy, but it's
  aphorism (adage if you prefer) that escapes memory.  Here are
  the first words of each:
  Twinkle Birds Beauty Look No Cleanliness The You Spare A All
  Where Beggars Too Charity Dead People Beginners All A He Nothing
  Sticks
   
  Allright, some do begin with articles; it shouldn't be too easy.



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