GENWiki

Premier IT Outsourcing and Support Services within the UK

User Tools

Site Tools


archive:humor:record_.gap
    The lurker in the inter-record gap
 The  occasional  visitor   to  Miskatonic    University's

Information Science Department can hardly help but remark on the contrast between the lowering, inbred looks of the head porter, as he unloads the visitor's portmanteaux from the railroad station, and the comparatively frank and open expression of your average Yankee university student.

 Certainly  Edwin,   returning   to  the  involuted    and

claustrophobic region of his upbringing in the belief that the creatures of the deep were quiescent again, suspected that the man who carried his disk packs was one of his Arkham half brothers, possibly a three-quaters brother.

 "Did they seal up the  window in the granite tower  above

Arkham?" he asked by way of experiment. As a consequence of the man's multiple speach defects, the answer was unintelligible, but Edwin caught the sense from the livid patches that sprang up on the fellow's forehead and from his letting fall six volumes of operating manuals. Clearer than words came the message that one could still–if imprudent enough–look out the window that faced no point of the compass, and that certain things could still look in. Medlers might still give Cthulhu and the Old Ones their opportunity.

 In contrast,  Dr.   James Pendline was  like a breath  of

fresh air when Edwin sat down with him to plan how they would generate the new operating system on the Miskatonic computer. Young, hair trimmed in the en brosse style affected by New York academics, he stuck but one faint, discordant note: His tie-tack was fashioned into a shape familiar to those who have studied the abominable writings of the satanic Arab, el Oufkr aft.

 The main  problem  was  to  get rid  of  the  old  Arkham

monitor, Reptilian 13. Into the dusk they worked, poring over the vellum sheets.

 Once a student  came in to  report slimy things  creeping

out of the multiplex channel. James Pendine looked at him levelly. "Did you invoke a recursive procedure?" He at last admitted it, was given a temporary fix, and sent away.

 They went  into the  computer room  just after  midnight.

Little by little they cut away parts of the Arkham monitor, trying to leave only an amount sufficient for the reading in of the clean new code. Edwin heard a muted scream as the job scheduler went. There were toads everywhere. Grim-faced they continued.

 At two o'clock the telephone rang.
 "That's project MAC"  said James Pendine.   "We let  them

hook into our processor when theirs is down for maintenance." The telephone stopped ringing and a light came on to show that the line had been connected automatically to the computer.

 Edwin  shrieked  and  pulled  the  cable,   fizzing   and

sparking, out of the communications front-end. Pendine had not moved.

 "Pray Heaven I was quick  enough," said Edwin.  "Why  had

you not disconnected that telephone?" Pendine smiled. "You are fearful that somehow the remnants of the Reptilian might have fled down the line to Massachusetts?"

 "I hardly know  what I feared,"  answered Edwin,  and  he

began loading the disks and tapes and cards that would make the Miskatonic computer a healthy thing again.

 Rosy-fingered  Dawn  broke,   cloudless,   serene.    The

computer was compileing Algol, working much more slowly than it used to under the old monitor, but at least there were no more toads. Edwin and Pendine had some kidneys brought in on a salver for breakfast.

 Across  the  dewy  campus   lawn  the  porter  was   seen

approaching. Absently Edwin noticed he left the prints of three feet behind him. He proffered a telegram.

 TO PENDINE MISKATONIC STOP SINCE CONNECTION YOUR CPU LAST

NIGHT OUR GRAPH PLOTTER WONT DRAW PENTACLES STOP ALSO TOADS EVERYWHERE STOP HOWEVER WELL WORTH IT STOP EXECUTION SPEEDS MUCH IMPROVED STOP THANKS MIT ENDS

 As is  the  case  with  many  telegrams,   the  text  was

followed by a few meaningless characters–random ripples on Mr. Bell's fluid that appended themselves as parasites to the real symbols of human intercourse. For the sake of this narrative's completeness they are given below:

 CTHULU...CTHULHU...HAHA...CTHULHU.....



/home/gen.uk/domains/wiki.gen.uk/public_html/data/pages/archive/humor/record_.gap.txt · Last modified: 1999/08/01 17:14 by 127.0.0.1

Donate Powered by PHP Valid HTML5 Valid CSS Driven by DokuWiki