Welcome to… Psi-Laine Magazine,Issue#1 2/4/88
Introduction A few theoretical "facts" taken as truth for these files. A god(any god,to ignore religion,)was bored. He created a sport,an endless legion of players, a TV network to broadcast it and a world for it to take place. The planet is Earth #2. The network is Rand TV. The game is Psi-Laine!
The arena is set up,the announcer is in his booth. I'm Johnny Gee,for the first ever match of Psi-Laine. Here now is announcer Ed Markewicz.
ED:Thank you,Johnny. All right,our contestants tonight are Snake Jake,a large burly fellow with two live snakes around his neck,and Captain Chainsaw,a lank character with a non-working chainsaw. This is wrestling with a TWIST! Ok,let's go to the arena. It is a 10 x 10 grid with nets around the rim. In the center are walking out SJ and CC. They shake hands,and…SJ does a jump! They both have reasonably high strength,nothing spectacular but certainly sustaining. Ah! CC is down,and SJ is sitting on him! What a start! Cap is on his stomach. He is still reasonably ok. Now,SJ…ah! He tries to summon Psi-Laine,the psychic power inherent in all inhabitants! The only problem is,as he tries to get it to work,he is in a trance for the time of two moves. And it may fail! An aura of yellow has sprung up around the concentrating SJ. The first period of concentration…fails! Oh,boy, Cap wrestles to his feet. Cap punches Jake in the stomach,but it's caught and voided! Jake jumps back at Cap's stomach. He succeeds! I think Jake may be the better man here,but time will tell. Cap is looking weak. Jake scrambles out of his jump,just in time to attempt Psi-Laine again! The first interval…succeeds! The aura changes from yellow to green! And hand-to-hand combat is the only type that will work during a trance. Captain Chainsaw has tried a bizarre punch to the chin! No,it just doesn't work for Cap. Jake attempts to take his mental power to the next stage,and…succeeds! His aura changes to blue! Captain Chainsaw tried to puch his chin and fell over his own feet,but he now gets up to attempt a punch to the arm. It succeeds,and the immobile Jake is weakened. Now even Cap falls silent along with the awed audience as the 3rd interval of Psi-Laine is started,and…SUCCEEDS! He gets back his free will,and he's smiling when he glows with a mystical power! A bolt from Jake's hands seeks out Cap's left hand and arm! It's gone! He has just crippled his opponent permanently! Cap is nearly out of his mind,and out of his consciousness. Madly,Cap…wow! Maybe Cap is just deranged,but he has just begun the Psi-Laine sequence! His first attempt…fails! Poor Cap! Jake now tries to add the use of accessories/weapons. His snakes hone in on their target. Oh,Cap is in a daze,almost out of it. Jake tries to press the advantage,with his specialty…the jump! But it fails,I guess Jake can foul up too. Cap begins to run. Maybe he's just running scared,or maybe he's trying to gather momentum from off the sides of the arena! If he was in square #46,he runs to the north,bounces off the north rim, and back one. Now he is at#15. Everyone is wondering what Jake will do about this. I feel he could just hold Cap by the head and let him tire himself out,but he does nothing! Cap runs again,another five frames to the south. This is senseless of Cap! Jake now runs one square himself, to make himself diagonal from Cap. This may well be the final position! Cap,having an option,grabs Jake's right arm and throws him around,underhanded! This man is as insane as he seems,and seems to have a wild,unleashed strength! Ol' Jake really took a spill there,and is now feeling fairly weak. Still better than Cap,though. Cap continues,picking up Jake's left hand and spinning him in a circle! He's dizzy Cap must be getting cocky,because he tries for Psi-Laine again! Interval#1…succeeds! His aura is green,but it doesn't matter to Jake,who tries a jump! He throws his own legs into the air,coming down against Cap's legs,which buckle. Cap falls to the ground! This may be it,folks! Interval#2…succeeds! Jake is worried, so he tries something fancy. He grabs Cap's left leg,drops to the ground with it(forcing Cap down),and rolls into a ball! Cap doesn't(of course),so his Psi-Laine is disrupted. In fact…I think he's unconscious! Yes,all Jake need do now is one legal hit to make it official! But wait! The Psi-Laine wasn't voided! Interval#3…what will it do…it…it…it… FAILS! That really sapped Cap's strength. Jake tosses his snakes down at Cap,and he has lost. The judges are declaring this match OVER!
Coming Next:Military Man vs. Flower Power
Note:Character Profiles are always welcome! Just put them up and they will most likely be ingested into the Understanding Machine. — Psi-Laine Magazine is a DreckFiction Production Copyright © 1988 DreckFiction
Welcome to… Psi-Laine Magazine,Issue#2 2/19/88
Ed:Hello! Johnny Gee has gone to visit his parents in Europe,so I'll be taking it right from here. Tonight,we were planning,in the second Psi-Laine match ever,to have a fight between Flower Power and Militart(Military) Man. But,for some unforseen reason,Military Man had to back out at the last minute. So to fill in,he called on his old pal…Earl Weaver,manager of the Baltimore Orioles! Since 1968! Now in the ring,one i…on one side is Flower Power carrying a giant flower made of diamond,with a gold stem! Wouldn't wanna get bonm(no) bonked by that!! This should be a walk,the ex-hippie against…hahahaha… that fat old slob! The two contestants shake hands in the center of the ring, and begin fighting! Earl gets in the first shot! He picks up Flower's right arm,and does an "old-fashioned" body slam! Ouch! I don't know if Earl has any miltia(military) experience but he almost certainly watches pro wrestling on TV! They are both still reasonably strong,but only Flowsy(Flowsy?) is hurt by the body slam! And Earl and…Earl ain't about to quit! (Sorry,my mental problem is acting up!) He,in his feeble state,jumps over Flower Power and snags a leg! They both fall to the ground but Earl gets up and starts to run! He runs from square#67,3 to the east,and bounces back 3. With more power behind him,he grabs Flower Power's left leg really actyihksdf(sorry, my brain failure again.) Flower Power is really acting useless,so maybe I was wrong about the old fart!! He causes FP to fall…hard! Tho,things don't look to good for(to! Haha.) FP,becaz…because every one of Earl's hits in a row has worked. And now Earl runs again. 3 to south,and one bv…back. Sorry,my brain is bothering me too much I'll try to get you a replacement me.
Hi. I'm Timmy Kurrik,fresh out of college and announcer's school. I've been given an on-the-job opportunity to qwork(work) in place of brain-damaged Ed. Earl has been running,reall weirldy. Is he senile? Now Flower Power tries for Psi-Laine,about the only thing he can do when not in the immediate vicinity of his opponent. 1st attempt…succeeds. Wow! Now Earl goes into Pasilane. Pasilane? Psi-laine! Simulated,but simultaneous! Wow,this is weird,folks! Earl's first interval…fails! What a waste! What about Flower's 2nd interval? It fails! Too ad! bad! Yeah! Earl,as is his right,elects to take a weapon onto the arena,a metal baseball bat. Earl clearly isn't gettinmg anywhere so he walks not south,but north…3/ less than 3 in some states. He walks north 34 …34? No,#57! Meaning he walks 3! Yeah! FP's turn and he tries Psi-Laine again! Interval#1…suycceeds! (Sorry for all these typos,our typeseetter was drunk. He took the audio log of Ed's brain-damaged state and did it word-for word,and now in his drunken stat (state) he is fouling everyling up. Get the iudea?) Earl seems to be using his baseball bat! It…doesn't contact at all. Real dumb,Earl. FP,deep in psi-laine trance,fails! Earl decides to run to the east 6 (tyo1! You dummy!) It puts him right back where he just was,but with more momentum. Hee,hee! He swings his bat again,and fails again/! Maybe this is why Earl got out of baseball and into Psi-Laine! Fp swings his own jewelled flower which is about the size of a shovel,by the way,but it doesn't make contact! These guys both have lousy aim!
Lightning strikes! The bored God makes I rule change: I bequeath the ende of runnyng! That option in combaet shaell bae raeplaced by a new God-given form of Magick!
They are both struck with awe,but Earl now tries Psi-Laine again! Attempt#1… Fails! FP takes his flower,postions iit like a blasted pool cuer,(cue) and smashes Earl in the y! The eyes I mean,in A Y-SHAPED hit,reminiscent of the 3 stooges. Is this the 1st successful hit on Earl? Earl recovers and tries the power for himself…the power of Psi-Laine! Attempt#1…succeeds! Flower attacks the immobile Earlm,(Earl) and…oh…it 's apparent that this is Gold's (God's) new form of magixc(magic!) It is SDW! No! I don't know! Typesetter,cut that out! This is SWITCH! Now Flower is in the middle of Psi-Laine,clutching a baseball bat,and Earl is stanbding there holding a jewelled flower! Flower does Attempt#2…and it succeeds! Maybe Earl's psi-laine wit will backfire on him! Earl…attempts to switch again! Of course,anyone would! But…for ——————————some strange reason,it fails. OH! I see why!
| God again: I order that the |
| switch power be usxed but |
| a mere one time per match!! |
—————————— fiores/…fires it at Earl without a thought! He fires at Earl's left leg! It's gone! That kind of thing more or less ends the match! Earl's can't walk,he can barely balance! He's just lying on tje the ground with his flower! P! Pathes! Pathos! Pathetic! Isn't it? Well,now Flower Power,looking mad,gets a runnig start,and smashes Earl in the cheat! (You know I meant chest!) Earl is really badly off! Now why would FP try Psi-Laine again? Attempt#1…succeeds! Attempt#2…fails! Earl just can't do anything! He might actually be able to walk,but not without practice on a fighting court,with other wounds,and this being a few minutes after he lost the limb! Flower Power tries agaibn to stick Earl in the eyes with the bat,but Earl rolls pout! Out,,,…of the way. Stick to it,guy! Break a leg! Earl can't do anything,and FP does something really cruel! He picks up Earl's othe …r leg and throws him! Earl is almost unconscious! FP now gedts Earl with a punch to the neck! Boy,that guyy! I think…yet! Ear;l do be unconscious…herm! He out like dat lite! One more hit and FP will win! He jumps on EW! A bug in thwe ! A spider in the typing room! aAnyway,he jumps o nth a A! He jumps onto Earl's face! The poor guy! Flower power wins! ———————————————————————–_——– As you have porably,probably noticed,we have multiple technical difficultiesd! Barring these,Psi-Laine Magazine with Ed Markewicz,Johnny Gee and Tim Kurrik will return ith! With new matches,new contestants,and these features coming: New characters,new modes of attack,interviews,"The Den"(a visit with the atmospheres of some of our more flamboya tnt charaxcters) and lost lots and lots of Psi-Laine matches! ——————————————————————————– Character suggweestions always welcome! Just be just be sure to Copy:CHARACTERS on this volume,adnd they will most likely be ingested into the understanding machine. ——————————————————————————– — Psi-Laine Magazine is a DreckFiction production. Copyright © 1988 DCreckFiction Copyright © 1988 DreckFiction