/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ Durations: /\/\ /\/\ How Long Things Take /\/\ /\/\ (revisited) /\/\ /\/\ Volume I /\/\ /\/\ Written by: /\/\ /\/\ Dr. Atomic /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Some of the things in this file were taken from the book "Durations:The Encyclopedia of How Long Things Take" by Stuart A. Sandow. Others were left out of the book for some reason, things that are related to the pirate world, so I included them here…
(This file is basically intended for informational purposes, impressing your friends with, or to otherwise trip out on…)
Call Snark Island Cat-Fur (619) 448-5616
The Embassy CS/CF (619) 459-6119
.00000001 of a second
Flourescence to take place in highly pigmented organic molecules The average ware leech on an AE line to decide he will take a certain program
.000001 of a second
One hundred successive generations of neutrons to occur producing one billion billion fissions
.000024 of a second
A TV sweep circuit to produce horizontal light on a screen
.003 of a second
A computer to lose its data in the event of power failure if data is not stored in a central processor The average ware leech to find a blank initialized disk
.01 of a second
The sensation of toothache pain to reach the brain of a cat A frif'C i 4 @ `- ( e@ Ì HW:H C)A\B H! " @L d ` e ÂÂXXXZR-)@ppO Ï O ÏOHO O OÏ O ðpðpÀÇÀOÏO ðpÀ@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ppOHO OOÏOÏ ÏÏ OOO pp ppðpÀÀÏÏO ðpÀ@@@@@@@@@@@@@ppOO O ppðpÆO ðpÀ@@@@@@@pp OO ÏÆGÏO OO ÏÏ `an explosion A phone phreak to hang up after an operator connects with the conference he is on
6 seconds
Most tents to catch fire after exposure to flame The average pirate to think of his latest wares The average catalog to send with Cat-fur
18 seconds
The number of larcenies committed in the united states to increase by one
10-20 seconds
Male chimpanzees to reach climax after initiating sexual relations Male ware leeches to reach climax after booting "Softporn Adventure"
25 seconds
The shortest cycle of a home trash compactor
30 seconds
The metaphase of mitosis in a fruit fly embryo Whales and elephants to copulate (not together, of course…)
34 seconds
The number of auto thefts commited in the United States to increase by one
43 seconds
Number of violent crimes (murder, rape, robbery or assault) committed in the united states to increase by one
1 minute
Prompt initial radiation to be measureable following a nuclear explosion A pneumatic pile driver to sink a sheet piling for a basement foundation 2 feet through clay and 9 feet through sand The heart of a shrew to beat 1,000 times The heart of a modem geek to beet 10,000 times when a sysop answers voice To fill 340, 16-ounce bottles of Coke at the bottling plant A party animal to consume 1 beer after a party has been in progress for 5 minutes (personal experience)
1 minute, 33 seconds
To ride the roller coaster at Excelsior Amusement Park, Lake Minnetonka, Minneapolis-St. Paul
2 minutes
The population of California to increase by one The maximum duration of copulation between kangaroo rats
3 minutes
To cook a 3-minute egg after the water is boiling Dr. Encinitas to finish a sentence
4 minutes
Each of six eating and watering periods a day on an automated chicken ranch
5 minutes
to kill the microorganisms responsible for botulism in canned pears by exposing them to temperatures of 115 degrees C To feel the somatic effects of LSD after an oral dose A marble factory to turn out 1,000 glass marbles To be put into a hypnotic trance
6 minutes
To feel the somatic effects of an unmodified Net-Works bulletin board
6 minutes 34 seconds
The length of the song "You Won't Change Me" by Black Sabbath
10 minutes
Duration of the first dream after falling asleep To declaw a pet To get a good connection with Minneapolis-St. Paul
15 minutes
Life span of average phone call to Pirates Bay A stripper to lose 36 calories during her act Intervals between breaths of a hibernating jumping mouse Number of wares of a leech on an AE line to increase by one
30 minutes
Side effects of a toxic dose of iron to manifest themselves after ingestion
35 minutes
A speed reader to read an entire issue of Time or Newsweek A ware leech to read this text file at 300 baud, then go back and decide he wants to download it
40 minutes
A guest at a cocktail party to consume a drink after the party has been in progress for 2 hours (The Wine And Spirits Guide–1974)
55 minutes
A session of psychoanalysis with Sigmund Freud
1 hour
Maximum nightly homework given to Russian first-graders The population of a keg party to increase by 50 To regain driving faculties after consumption of each ounce of alcohol
1 hour 22 minutes
Total period during which people dream during a night's sleep
Two Hours
Asprin to reach its peak effectiveness in the body An average phone conversation with The Spaz
Three Hours
A Duraflame log to burn Time the average modem geek spends on any one AE line
Four Hours
Mimimum nightly homework given by high school teachers The lifeless star Cygnus X-3 to rotate around its partner star
Seven Hours
Average time the Camel Jockey spends on a single conference duriHOO "%s£ pfdä # â(X BD 8 Hx h B c`Ä@ ' À " -²Â * CBH4" B "@ d*PA À A&(DÀ a L@ BNÈ Ci°b ØFÌM$éA t%h EÀN!IÈ0& 2^ÚàêèÊä@àÊä@ÈÂò@PÜÞèÒÜÆØêÈÒÜÎ@èÒÚÊ@æàÊÜè@ÞäÎÂÜÒôÒÜÎ@ÈÒæÖæX@äÊÂÈÒÜÎ@èÐÊ@ÂæÒÆ@¨êèÞäÒÂØX@ÊèÆ\Rdh@ÐÞêäæZZZZZZZZ¨ÐÊ@àÞàêØÂèÒÞÜ@ÞÌ@¦ÂÜ@ÒÊÎÞ@èÞ@ÒÜÆäÊÂæÊ@Äò@b``Þêäæ@àÊä@îÊÊÖ@èÐÂè@àäÞÎäÂÚæ@ÂäÊ@ÄäÞÂÈÆÂæè@ÞìÊä@²êÎÞæØÂìÒÂÜ@èÊØÊìÒæÒÞܨÞ@æÐÊÈ@hairs from the human head The maximum amount of time a sysop can spend away from his BBS without getting crash attempts, complaints, gripes, bitches, or bizarre messages
That's it for Volume I…Volume II will probably go from 24 hours to 1 year. (out between 24 hours-1 year from now)