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archive:humor:girlspeak

*File Description: Girlspeak To English Dictionary*

She says English
——— ——-
You want You want
We need I want
It's your decision The correct decision should be
obvious by now
Do what you want You'll pay for this later
We need to talk I need to complain
Sure…go ahead I don't want you to.
I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're…so manly You need a shave and you sweat
a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight. Is sex all you ever think
about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not I'm on my period.
overreacting!

Be romantic, turn out the lights. I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. I want a new house.
I want new curtains and carpeting, furniture,
wallpaper…
Hang the picture there No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise I noticed you were almost
asleep.
Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something
expensive.
How much do you love me? I did something today you're
really not going to
like..
I'll be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? [Too late, your dead.]
Yes No
No No
Maybe No
I'm sorry. You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? It's easy to fix, so you'd
better get get used to it.AA
I'm not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I
think this is important.


In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing. Nothing.
Nothing. Everything.
Everything. My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. It's just that you're such an
asshole.
I don't want to talk about it. Go away, I'm still building up
evidence against you.
___________________________________________________________________________________
       The Last Things Any Man Would Ever Say:
    
    10) I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
     9) While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
     8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
     7) Her tits are just too big.
     6) Sometimes I just want to be held.
     5) That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
     4) Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
     3) We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can
  hold your purse.
     2) Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
     1) I think we are lost, we better pull over ands ask for directions.
       
    
        THE LAST THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:
    
    10) Could our relationship be more physical?  I'm tired of just being
        friends.
     9) Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that
        way.
     8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
     7) Hey, get a whiff of that one.
     6) Please don't throw that old T-shirt away,  the holes in the armpit
        are just too cute.
     5) This diamond is way too big!
     4) I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
     3) Wow, it really is 14 inches!
     2) Does this make my butt look too small?
     1) I'm wrong, you must be right again.
/data/webs/external/dokuwiki/data/pages/archive/humor/girlspeak.txt · Last modified: 2002/05/30 05:17 by 127.0.0.1

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