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archive:humor:cucumber

Title : Why cucumbers are better than men!!!!!!!

AREA:NZ_ECHO Cucumbers are better than men because…………..

The average cucmber stays hard for a week. The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. Cucumbers are easy to pick up. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket… … and you know how firm it is before you take it home.

Cucumbers can get away any weekend. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. A cucumber doesn't ask. "Am I the first". Cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're not a virgin anymore. With cucumbers you don't have to be a virgin more than once.

Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it. Cucumbers never need a round of applause. Cucumbers won't ask:-

 Am I the Best?
 How was it?
 Did you come? How many times?

A cucumber won't mind hiding in the fridge when your mother comes over. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the fridge. No matter how old you are you can always get another cucumber. A cucumber will never give you a hickey. Cucumbers can stay up all night…and you won't have to sleep on the wet spot. Cucumbers won't leave you wondering for a month.

Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet when you are in the shower, Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold. Cucumbers don't tell you they like you better with long hair. A cucumber will never leave you for :-

 Another woman
 Another man
 Another cucumber.

You always know where your cucumber has been. Cucumbers don't have mid-life crisis. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves. A cucumber doesn't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers. It's easy to drop a cucumber.

— SLMAIL v1.36M (#0575) * Origin: Baud of the City? BBS Invercargill - (03) 2186445 (3:770/605)

/data/webs/external/dokuwiki/data/pages/archive/humor/cucumber.txt · Last modified: 1999/08/01 17:15 by 127.0.0.1

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