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archive:humor:cars

AMC — All Makes of Cars

AUDI


Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW — Babbling Mechanical Wench BART / Muni / Walking (transportation in San Francisco) Basic Marin Wheels Beastly Monstrous Wonder Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Big Money Waste Big Money. Why? Big Money Works Blasphemous Motorized Wreck Born Moderately Wealthy Bought My Wife Break My Windows Break My Windshield Broken Money Waster Broken Monstrous Wonder Brutal Money Waster Bumbling Mechanical Wretch

BUICK


Big Ugly Import Car Killer Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer Big Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer

CHEVROLET


Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

CHEVY


CHarged HEaVilY Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet Cruddy Hick Engine, Very Yucky

DODGE


Dead On Delivery - Go Easy Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere

FIAT


Failure In Automotive Technology Failure in Italian Automotive Technology Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation Fix It Again, Tony Fucked In the Ass Twice Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD


Fails On Rainy Days First On Race Day First On Recall Day First On Road to Dump First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Repair Daily Flip Over, Read Directions Found On Road Dead Found On a Rubbish Dump Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos Fucked On Race Day Fucked-Over Rebuilt Dodge Fucker Only Runs Downhill Fucking Obsolete Road Device Fucking Old Rust Dog

GM – General Maintenance

GMC — Garage Man's Companion Generally Mediocre Cars Get More Chicks Got a Mechanic Coming Got More Crap

IROC


I Race Other Cars I Run Over Children I'm Really Out of Cash It's Really Only a Camaro Italian Retard Out Cruising

JEEP


Just Eats Every Part

LTD — Long Term Debt Lousy Transportation, Dammit!

MAZDA


Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MG – Money Guzzler

MOPAR


Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously Most Often Passed At Races Mostly Old Paint And Rust Mostly Old Parts And Rust My Old Pig Ain't Running My Only Problems Are Repairs

OLDS


One Leak, Dead Starter

OLDSMOBILE


Oh, Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything. Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day. Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel.

PINTO


Put In Nickel To Operate

PLYMOUTH


Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood Pussy Lips in Your MOUTH

PONTIAC


Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac

PORSCHE


Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense

PROBE


Plainly Runs Only By Exception

SAAB


Send Another Automobile Back Something An Asshole Bought Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies Such An Arrogant Bastard Swedish Automobile - Always Broken Swedish Automobiles Are Best

SUBARU


(backwards) U-R-A-Bus

TOYOTA


Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VW – Virtually Worthless

-/Vuarnet International/-

    617/527.oo91
24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis
/home/gen.uk/domains/wiki.gen.uk/public_html/data/pages/archive/humor/cars.txt · Last modified: 1999/08/01 17:15 by 127.0.0.1

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