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AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL

  Lyrics by Evan Leibovitch, code by Beverly Erlebacher

  Dedicated to anyone who's left their computers alone
  just long enough for them to self-destruct:

  (Sung to the tune of something or other...)

On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

A burnt-out V.D.T.

On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the fourth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the fifth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the sixth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the seventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the eighth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the ninth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the tenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the eleventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Eleven chips a-smoking;
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the twelfth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:

Twelve boards a-blowing;
Eleven chips a-smoking;
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the thirteenth day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.