'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE INSTALLATION
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'Twas the night before installation, And all through the shop, Not a program was working, It sure was a flop. The programmers hung by their tubes in despair, In hope that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of inquiries danced in their heads. When out in the hall there arose such a clatter I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a Super-Programmer (with a six-pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so rare, He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair. More rapid than eagles, his programs they came, And he whistled and shouted and called them by name: On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete! On Batch! On Closing! On Functions Complete!
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean, From weekends and nights in front of a screen. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk, And laying a finger upon the "Enter" key, The system came up and worked perfectly.
The Updates updated, the Deletes, they deleted; The inquiries inquired, and Closing completed. He tested each whistle and each bell, with nary an abend, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded; The users' last changes were even included. And the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt, "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
[From an anonymous printout from somewhere in California]
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