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Bill of Rights Lite

Amendment I

Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by its own public exercise there of, and shall make no laws abridging the freedom of responsible speech (unless such speech is in a digital form or contains material that is copyrighted, classified, proprietary or offensive to non-Europeans, non-males, differently abled or alternativley prefferenced persons), or the right of people to peaceably assemble (unless such assembly takes place on corporate or military property or within an electronic environment), or to petition the government for redress of grievances (unless such grievances relate to national security).

Amendment II

A well-regulated militia having become irrelevant to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms against one another shall remain uninfringed (excepting such arms as may be afforded by the poor or those prefferred by pushers, terrorists and organized criminals which shall be banned).

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the owners consent, unless that house is thought to have been used for the distrabution of illegal substances.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in thier persons, houses, papers, and the effects against unreasonable searches and seizures many be suspended to protect public welfare. Upon the unsupported suspicion of law enforcement officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and any such places or conveyances, or property within them may be permanently confiscated without further judicial proceeding.

Admendment V

Any person may be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous involving illicit substances, terrorism or upon any suspicion whatever, and may be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (once by the state courts, once by the Federal judiciary), and may be compelled by various means (including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily fluids, or encryption keys) to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so constituting an admission of guilt, and may be deprived of life, liberty, or property without furthor legal delay, and any private property thereby forfieted shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of the law-enforcement agents without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to speedy and private plea-bargaining before entering a plea of guilty. The accused is entitled to the assistance of underpaid and indifferent counsel to negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under manitory sentencing requirements.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law where the contesting parties have nearly unlimited resources to spend on legal fees the right to trial by jury shall be preserved

Amendment VIII

Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will remain in custody, where cruel and unusual punishments are ussually inflicted.

Amendment IX

Teh enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage other that may be retained bt the government to preserve public order, family values, or national security.

Amendment X

The powers not delgated to the United States by the Constitution are reserved for to the departments of Justice and Treasury, except when the states are willing to forsake Federal financing.

Written by John Perry Barlow, a lyricist for the Gratefull Dead and cofounder of the EFF. First printed by the New York Times and then re-printed by Playboy magazine.

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