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    The Joy of Fortifications
  (To the tune "Cats on the Rooftop").

When You wake up in the morning,

   And your castle's under siege

Your troops are on the walls

   And they're looking to their liege

Better close up your portcullis

   'Fore the barbican they seize

As you contemplate the joy of fortifications

(Chorus)

   Knights on the guardwalk,
        Knights in the towers
   Knights who are batchelors comtemplating dowers
        Knights in their armour of authority and power
   As they contemplate the joy of fortifications

If on the field of battle,

   In defeat you have to run

You'll find no cause for worry

   If your home is made of stone

You can taunt 'em from the crenels

   Up until your day is done

As you contemplate the joy of fortifications

(Chorus)

Catapults and trebuchets

   may cause you some concern

With the proper use of fire

   most contraptions you can burn

You'll surely have to sally forth

   Before you get your turn

As you contemplate the joy of fortifications

(Chorus)

Stone offers you safety,

   All throughout the year

It's a place to spend your taxes,

   As your peasants quake in fear

It's a place to keep you comfy

   For a "Droit de Seigneur"

As you contemplate the joy of fortifications

(Chorus)

Now if your safe security,

   Your neighbours do abuse

Perchance you may avail yorself

   Your neighbours to amuse

Laying siege around their castle

   Its an act you can't refuse

As they contemplate the joy of fortifications

(Chorus)