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Transcribed by: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) Subject: Detachable Penis

Detatchable Penis, by King Missile

  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable.
  
  [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
  
  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
  or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  and the next morning I can't for the life of me
  remember what I did with it.
  First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
  So I called up the place where the party was,
  they hadn't seen it either.
  I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
  'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
  But not this time.
  So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
  I called a few people who were at the party,
  but they were no help either.
  I was starting to get desperate.
  I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
  It makes me feel like less of a man,
  and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
  After a few hours of searching the house,
  and calling everyone I could think of,
  I was starting to get very depressed,
  so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
  Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
  where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
  I saw my penis lying on a blanket
  next to a broken toaster oven.
  Some guy was selling it.
  I had to buy it off him.
  He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
  I took it home, washed it off,
  and put it back on.  I was happy again.  Complete.
  People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
  but I don't know.
  Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
  I like having a detachable penis.
  
  [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
   a while, then out]