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archive:humor:primes.jok

From cate3.osbunorth@xerox.com Sat May 19 12:34:49 1990 From: cate3.osbunorth@xerox.com (Henry Cate III) Subject: Is nine prime?

Organization: Xerox, Sunnyvale, CA


Lawyers: one is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime,

       although there appears to be prima facie evidence that nine
       is not prime, there exists substantial precedent to indicate
       that nine should be considered prime.  The following brief
       presents the case for nine's primeness ...

Liberals: The fact that nine is not prime indicates a deprived

        cultural environment which can only be remedied by
        a federally funded cultural enrichment program.

Computer programmers: one is prime, three is prime, five is prime,

                    five is prime, five is prime, five is prime
                    five is prime, five is prime, five is prime ....

Bush: What's nine got against being prime? I'll bet it won't allow

    the pledge of allegiance to be said in our schools either.
               

Richard Nixon: Put nine on the enemies list. I'm gonna get that number.

Rec.humor poster: one is prime, one is prime, one is prime, one is prime

Professor: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as

an exercise for the student.

Computational linguist: 3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an

odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime, ...

Computer Scientist: 10 prime, 11 prime, 101 prime…

Chemist: 1 prime, 3 prime, 5 prime…hey, let's publish!

Measure nontheorist: there are exactly as many odd numbers as primes

(Euclid, Cantor), and exactly one even prime (namely 2), so
there must be exactly one odd nonprime (namely 1).

New Yorker: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is … NONE OF YOUR

DAMN BUSINESS!

Programmer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be fixed in the

next release, ...

C programmer: 03 is prime, 05 is prime, 07 is prime, 09 is really 011

which everyone knows is prime, ...

BASIC programmer: What's a prime?

COBOL programmer: What's an odd number?


Henry Cate III


  uucp:	...ucbvax!xerox.com!cate3.osbunorth
    Internet:	cate3.osbunorth@Xerox.Com
     

The founding fathers tried to set up a system where a man got a fair trial, not a system to let him get off on technicalities.



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