GENWiki

From pa1213@sdcc13.ucsd.edu Wed Nov 15 17:44:05 1989 From: pa1213@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (–= B-^-T-M-^-N =–) Subject: Law School

My brother, a third year UCLA law student recently sent me an interesting list of comparision between lawyers-to-be and not-to-be. He called it:

                     A LAW SCHOOL CHRONOLOGY
                     -----------------------

First Year, First Semester:

    LAWYER-TO-BE                            LAWYER-NOT-TO-BE

- Always raise hand in class. - Extreme fear lightened with strong - Carry fifty pounds of books doses of nausea.

with ease.                            - Inability to answer any questions.

- Pursue professors. - Wild crushes on female students - Begin drafting a law review ( for male ), on male students (F).

article.                              - Study hours on end using assigned
									  course books written by professors.

First Year ,Second Semester:

- Always raise hand in class - Extreme nausea lightened with strong

while calling out the answers.          doses of fear.

- Carry seventy-five pounds of - Inability to say anything other than

books with ease.                        a case number and date.

- Become assistant to tenured - Study hours on ends using horn books.

professors.

First Year ,Summer:

- Work as law intern at father's - Work as an auto mechanic.

law firm.

Second Year, First Semester:

- Organize study group. - Discover law ponies that synopsize - Have friends from study groups an entire course in fifty pages,

shepardize and rewrite rejected         including exam questions and answers.
law review articles.                  - Discover the neighborhood bar.

- Sit primly in class since no - Discover that some female students

longer need to answer questions.        have been dating professors.

Second Year, Second Semester:

- Reject numerous marriage proposals. - Stop studying and worrying about - Date law review editor in chief. women/men.

Male or female.                       - Go to summer job interviews around

- Be accepted into a law review. the clock. - Accept summer position at firm - Begin drinking heavily and smoking

where father used to work.              becoming more habitual.

Second Year, Summer:

- Internship at one thousand - Work as a senior auto mechanic.

dollars a week.

Third Year, First Semester:

- Accept offer to return to large - Worry about getting a law job paying

firm as associate.                      more than the interests due on student

- Strike up strong friendship with loan.

professors since the only student     - Marry a fellow student who remains
still attending class.                  friendly with a professor.

- Publish law review article on the - Stop going to classes.

impact of sexual discrimination       - Engrave name on stool at the bar.
on socio-economic realities.

Third Year, Second Semester:

- Take time off for a trip to Europe. - Divorce, file counter claim against

                                        ex-spouse.
                                      - Interview around the clock.
	                        - Don't remember where the law school 
                                        is.

Graduation, Summer:

- Arrange to take bar exam in - Study for bar exam using a booklet

Florence , Italy.                       synopsizing the law in ten pages.
                                      - Take bar exam in lousy neighborhood.
				- Get mugged.
				- Reconsile with ex-spouse since will
				  be working eighty hour weeks anyway.

– +—————-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=——————+

+—–=-=-=-=-=–[ slo-mail: po box 948665 la jolla ca 92037 ]–=-=-=-=-=—–+