GENWiki

                             Ode to the Chunnel
                                     or
                Why the English do not want a Channel Tunnel

There'll be carloads of Louises        There'll be Swedes of charmless candour
    From Parisian stripteases                 Coming over to philander,
     Importing foul diseases                Spreading left-wing propaganda
            Into Kent.                              About wealth.

There'll be modern French Wells Fargoes Belgian girls of vast proportions

 Sending juggernauts with cargoes        Who have failed to take precautions
    Of frogslegs and escargots                Driving over for abortions
         And men's scent.                           On the Health.

There'll be Dutchmen too, by jingo, There'll be Spanish senoritas

Who'll refuse to speak the lingo,           Jamming all our parking meters
    Coming over for the bingo                With their miserable pesetas
          And the dogs.                           (I don't know !).
   And through this umbilical,                 And senoras doing sambas
Seeking knickers from St. Michael,          Shouting "vamos" and "caramba"
 Girls from Rotterdam will cycle             And believing that the amber
         In their clogs.                          Light means "Go".

There'll be Danes on every corner         There'll be Austrians with poodles
    Faces pink after a sauna,               Wanting membership of Boodles
   trying hard to sell us porno             Then demanding apple strudels
          Graphic books.                           With their tea.
There'll be men like Julius Caesar          There'll be lecherous Kuwaitis
    Getting in without a visa                Driving lorryloads of Katies
  Careless architects from Pisa            From the Thames to the Euphrates
          Bloody crooks.                                C.O.D.

There'll be wealthy German campers          There'll be men from Lithuania
   With enormous picnic hampers                From Rumania and Albania
 Full of sauerkraut and champers            From Tasmania and Pennsylvania
          And pork pies.                            I've no doubt.

There'll be Eyeties slick and smarmy, So, dear immigration panel

   Reared on pizza and salami,           Boys in sports jackets and flannel,
     Turning up at Veeraswamy             Please protect our English Channel
          Without ties.                            Throw them out!.

– This does not reflect the views of my employer but we've all had a jolly good laugh == Tim Stone S.G. Warburg & Co., Inc.