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From duncan@rmy.emory.edu Wed Sep 12 10:22:08 1990 From: duncan@rmy.emory.edu (Sara Duncan) Subject: anthropological study Keywords: science, chuckle, original

(I wrote this myself while lamenting the plight of the pitiful graduate student that I am. Thus, it is original and, alas, is all the research I have managed to do this summer. Sara Duncan duncan@rmy.rmy.emory.edu)

The Pedagological Tribal System of Primitive Cultures of the Scientific Research Community

   This study deals with a pedagological tribal system with
   definite, almost overwhelming paternalistic mores and codes.
   I had had some difficulty studying these tribes because they are
   quite fierce and  often impossible to communicate with except
   in their own languages, which are diverse and may have roots
   in latin. (I, however, tend to hold that these languages are a
   development of the tribes themselves and are a major
   contributory factor in their continued isolation from the
   global community.) In general, members also appear to have
   little ability to learn new languages. To overcome these
   barriers, I am attempting to infiltrate a tribe and become a
   full-fledged member of it. I am currently undergoing
   initiation rites in a southeastern tribe called "Physiology
   and Pharmacology". This is a preliminary report of my current
   findings.  
  
   The adult males of any of the tribes which can be grouped
   under the broad designation "researchers"  are called
   "professors" and sometimes "doctors".
   The terms are not entirely interchangeable as the
   higher ranking males are always referred to as "doctor"
   whereas "professor" is a more generic term for all adult
   males who have completed any variation of the initiation
   process which is called "graduate school".
   There are two groups of females in this culture, one group is
   granted low ranking status as a quasi-male with
   responsibilities similar to the very low-ranking males. They 
   are referred to as "professors" also, but are never actually
   allowed to progress beyond certain set heirarchial levels.
   This group is not often granted reproductive status. The
   second group of females could be classified as sub-adult, as
   they are never granted any of the rights of the full adult,
   which is, of course, always male or quasi-male. They are
   termed "professor's wives" and may only assume any status
   through the male to whom they are attached and by telephone
   calls to secretaries. The phone calling privilege is unique to
   the "professor's wife" and is *never* usurped.
   Interestingly, offspring of these unions are not acknowledged
   within the culture and leave the tribe upon reaching
   adolescence.
   
   Reproduction is quite unusual and very interesting! The
   tribes call this "recruitment". Several select members of the
   tribe, usually middle-ranking males and even a few quasi-male
   females travel to distant tribes called "undergraduate
   colleges" where they put on quite lovely displays and make
   generous offers to the neonates from the "undergraduate
   colleges". This is similar to courtship in some cultures, but
   is directed at procuring neonates. The neonates put on a
   secondary display for the professors of their choosen tribe,
   wherein they accept the wonderous offers. These are very
   intricate dances, and only the best research tribes and neonates
   are successful.
   
   Once the new tribe members have arrived at their new tribe,
   however, initiation may take anywhere from four to
   seven years. I have seen examples of initiates being
   subjected to trials for eight years! This does vary somewhat,
   but the general rule is an extrordinarily long and quite
   demanding set of incomprehensible tests that the candidates
   for initiation must perform well on. These are similar to the
   tribes of Africa who have to walk on hot coals in bare feet or
   draw elaborate scars on all parts of their bodies. The
   actual trials are called "preliminary exams" "qualifying
   exams" and, of course the dreaded "dissertation defense" rite.
   Unfortunatly, I have not yet been made privy to all the
   inuendos of this final rite. Although I have been allowed to
   watch during several. I was actually required to watch this
   horrible test of human ability to withstand the agony of hours
   of questions in very highly ceremonial language, many words of
   which I am not yet informed. The medicine man of the tribe
   changes for each different initiate. He is called the "major
   professor", possibly referring to his power during the rite of
   passage. The power of the medicine man is reflected on the
   initiate and will follow him through his entire adult life.
   These tribes have not yet been well characterized. This is
   understandable in light of the extreme reclusivity and
   exclusivity of all of the research tribes I have encountered.
   Yet this should not preclude further in-depth analysis of a
   truly unique way of life. I shall continue work within my
   present tribe in hopes of becoming a full fledged member, as
   it were, and of coming to full understanding of this culture.
   

– Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.

Please use looking.on.ca and not just looking or looking.uucp.



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