GENWiki

BOBBING FOR  APPLES: Using  the  finger to  unclog a  severely  constipated
  patient.

F.L.K.:  "Funny-looking Kid."  Usually a mongoloid.

F.L.P.:  Parents of an F.L.K.

CRUMP, GORK,  VEDGY:  A  patient requiring  intensive  care,  incapable  of
  movement, and  
CROCK: Hypochondriac.

MARRIAGEABLE MONSTER: A young female patient who has successfully undergone
  major plastic surgery.

GOMER:  A senile, messy, or highly unpleasant patient. 

FASCINOMA: A "fascinating" tumor; any interesting or amusing malignancy.

DROOLER:  A catatonic patient.

CUT AND PASTE:  To open  a patient,  discover that  there is  no hope,  and
  immediately  sew  him up.   Well,  almost immediately.   Sometimes  young
  surgeons practice surgical techniques for a while first.

FOUR F-ER: A gallbladder patient.  "Fat, forty-ish, flatulent female."

PINKY CHEATER: Latex finger cover  used in gynecological and  proctological
  examinations.

ROAD MAP: Injuries incurred by going through a car windshield face first.

A HOLE-IN-ONE:  A gunshot wound through the mouth or rectum.

THE "O" SIGN: The letter O as formed by a patient's gaping mouth.

THE "Q" SIGN: A patient giving the O sign with his tongue hanging out.

THE DOTTED Q:  The "Q" sign, with a fly on the tongue.

SIDEWALK SOUFFLE:  A patient who has fallen from a building.

LOOSE CHANGE:  A dangling limb in need of amputation.

BULL IN THE RING:  A blocked large intestine.

GONE CAMPING:  Reference to a patient in an oxygen tent.

EATING IN:  Intravenous feeding.

BORDEAUX:  Urine with blood in it.

SCRATCH AND SNIFF:  A gynecological examination.

ANGEL LUST:  A male cadaver with an erection.

HIT AND RUN: The act of operating quickly so as not to be late for  another
  engagement.

CAPTAIN KANGAROO:  Chairman of a pediatrics department.

ROOTERS: Indigents and hangers-on who gather in big-city emergency rooms in
  order to be entertained by legitimate cases.

SHORT-ORDER-CHEFS:  Morgue workers.

LOOP THE LOOP: Flamboyant surgical rearrangement of the intestines.

BUGS IN THE RUG:  Pubic lice.

HEY DOCS: Alcoholics  handcuffed to wheelchairs  in big-city medical  wards
  who, at the sight of a white coat, bleat out in chorus, "Hey, Doc!"

BLOWN MIND:  Gunshot wound to the head.

BOOGIE, GOOBER:  A tumor.

THE DEEP FRY:  Cobalt therapy.

ROASTED GOOBER:  A tumor after intensive cobalt treatment.

HEALTHY GOOBER:  A dead patient.

BURY THE  HATCHET:  Accidently  leaving  a  surgical  instrument  inside  a
  patient.

BOTTLE RETURN: Removal of a bottle that is vacuum-jammed in the anal canal,
  usually of a homosexual.

SILVER GOOSE, SILVER STALLION:  Proctoscope.

SQUASH:  Brain.

GAS PASSER:  Anesthesiologist.

CRISPY CRITTUR:  A patient with severe burns.