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Santa's Favorite Jokes.......

Santa loves a good joke. He must – he tells the same ones over and over again, time after time! Here are some of his favorites:

I just got back from my yearly flight around the world. Boy, are my arms tired!…After I left home, I wrote my mother that I'd grown another foot. So she knit me another sock.

Let me tell you about the Ice Nymphs. Once three nymphs were sleeping in the same bed. It was so crowded that one got out and slept on the floor. After a while, one of the Nymphs said to the one on the floor, "You ought to get back in the bed with us. There's lots more room now!"… Once the Nymphs were out playing football. One of the players asked the coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub.

Then there are the elves. One of the elves is great at magic. He walked around the corner and turned into an outhouse….One elf snored so loud he woke himself up. But then he solved the problem – he started sleeping in the next room….Everyone knows the elves are famous for the baths they take each year. But perhaps you don't know what the first elf in the tub is called – he's the ringleader…..We've got one elf who just hates to take baths. Once he got so dirty that when he finally took a bath he found some underwear he thought he'd lost three years before.

With all my expertise over the years I've learned some interesting things. For instance, if a bee and a doorbell get married, what kind of children to you think they'll have? Humdingers!….And I've learned why penguins cross the road only halfway – they like to lay it on the line…..I deliver toys to a boy who parts his hair from ear to ear. Its a real problem – people keep whispering in his nose!

People always have questions about my reindeer. For instance, they want to know why reindeer wear bells. I tell them it's because their horns don't work…..Or they ask, "How much reindeer feed do you get for a quarter?" My answer: "None. Quarters don't eat reindeer feed!"

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