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                  ::::                               ::::                    ::::    T H E   O F F I C I A L     ::::                   ::::                                ::::                    ::::        G U I D E   T O         :::                    ::::                                ::::                    ::::    R E A L  G - P H I L E     ::::                    ::::                                ::::                   ::::         A U T H O R S          ::::                    ::::                           V1.0 :::                    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::                        :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::                        ::                            ::                       ::       by                   ::                        ::                            ::                       ::      --] Man-Tooth [--     ::                        ::                           ::                        ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Through my vast experience of reading and collecting G-philes, I have learned of manytopics depicted within files. Just as well, I have been misguided by "fraudulent philes". he authors of these files can be classified by at least one of the following catagories…

                  a: Needed to write a phile to attempt to please                      his favorie SysOp.                    b: Didn't have much if any actual experience with                     his topic.                    c: Needed to build a collection for trading.                    d: I just a plain geeky asshole. 
        Since we're not all geeky assholes who write fony philes,     this would just classify th minority.  The following compilation     focuses mainly on philes written by non-geeky assholes (i. just     geeks or assholes) in contrast to the elite group of unpronounced     "REAL G-PHILE AUTORS" (until now).  Let us now venture into the     heart of this file...shall we? 
   A Real G-Phile Author.... 
                  - Uses 80 columns with lower case 
                  - Includes a title 
                  - Takes credit for his files by signing his name 
                  - Doesn't advertise a BBS unless it's his own 
                  - Doesn't waste disk space on a file written on a                        messag quality discovery 
                  - Doesn't plagarize from his friends' favorite                        books or ocal messages (without due credit) 
                  - Has a personality 
                  - Doesn't mind abusing the hell out of geeks 
                  - Uses abusive language when it's fucking                        appropriate!                     - Doesn't overuse abusive language to live up to                        this 'sell' file 
                  - Doesn't make spelling mistakes! 
                  - Researches the topic of interest 
                  - Explains the topic in depth                        (ie. makes his point well nderstood by                         the reader) 
                  - Idolizes the author of this model file 
                  - Makes full use of The World of ASCII Art 
                               `'                                 |'                               /-\  <-- Bomb                                ! !                               _\_/_        __                        =o"!`/    !-\_____ ||                         =   |  ___!_      | |                        =__/\______|=-----|_|  <-- Geek                         ''          ` 
                  - Doesn't abuse The World of ASCII Art 
                  - Doesn't use ascii art if he obviously has                        an infinite ack of talent 
                  - Keeps his phile exclusive to a few select BBS's                        to incease its bartering power 
                  - Has already written numerous files 
                  - Makes use of CHR$(13) to increase the file's                        aestheticqualities 
                  - Doesn't use CHR$(13) to make the file longer 
                  - Doesn't advertise the hosting BBS in a file in                        hopes o increasing the file's lifespan 
                  - Personally tests his ideas 
                  - Writes philes even if he has been forgotten by                        most th BBS world 
                  - Always gives credit where credit is due 
        ...But since I already have enough enemies, I won't name the     those "writers" who inspred the making of this file. 
                                       --] Man-Tooth [--


Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet™

& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845 Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102

 Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
     arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
     insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
Full access for first-time callers.  We don't want to know who you are,
 where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
                        "Raw Data for Raw Nerves"


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