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I dont want to bother you with a huge pretext as to who wrote this like other files do so here it is. Besides, who cares?

@#!%@%$^#&^$(^)+*&^_(&*_+)*&(_++*+)*)&^ @%$ *&% &%^ "I Was A Teenage Modem Geek" ,?@

}#> written by \]# (*& !@* )#$ The Sheister ^&* (#@ @!/ <!+ better known as &#* *$# #.= -`! Umass Bandit &#! )=- *$# @*%@#%*&^(*)#$%^%$#&$%%)((*(_)^&^#$%^@$

I was sitting in the cafeteria with

my friends, doing nothing but bragging about what girls Ive been with and how many touchdown passes Ive made in my high school career. Being the star quarterback of Apple ][ High wasnt an easy job you know and I was damn good too. Everyone knew me, everyone loved me and there wasnt a moment that passed without a girl flashing me a smile in a quite inviting way. Things were going fine, just perfect, better than anyone could ever wish for, until one day…that one stormy night when I met that girl. That girl was going to change my whole life, more than I knew, or can remember.

(fade out in a blurry type dream state like in the movies and dont forget the music that falls from a high to a low tone in gradual steps that accompanies such dream states)

It was an ordinary school day, you 

know, the kind where you just go to all of your classes, kiss all the girls, sign autographs, look in the mirror a dozen times, get asked out at least 5 times, you know, the usual stuff. I was cruisin with my pals from the football team down to the gym for some heavy working out when I noticed a girl that Id never slept with before. "Hey Joe, is she new here or what?", I asked.

"Wow, I guess so." Joe answered.  

"You've never slept with her before, as far as I can remember, so she must be"

I smiled, knowing very well that she

was as good as mine. "Well guys, Im the boss and well, I guess that means shes taken…by me of course." The other guys didnt look too enthusiastic but they loved me and I loved them so they learned to handle things such as this like adults. With a quick wave of my hand we continued on our trek to the gym.

"Unghhh!" I groaned as I curled my 

last set of 100 lbs, but on the last repetition I dropped all of the weights , needless to say, on Joe's foot. There she was, splendid, glory, grace, beauty elegance but that didnt affect me. What a BOD, this girl had tits that would make your mouth water, and such a fine ass that I couldve broken out of my Jock Strap Cup if I were wearing it. "Snap out of it! Snap out of it!" my pals were yelling, but their voices were just a faint whisper in the wind. Suddenly, she turned to face me, as if she knew that Id been staring at her the whole time. Our eyes met, we knew what we had to do.

Asking her out was the easy part and

before I knew it I had a date with her to go to the drive-in theatre. During the intermission, (i like to take my time), we started talking. I noticed that she sound slightly strange, like her voice was generated, computer-like you know, but I just passed it off as a hearing problem. I wasnt about to let something like that stop me from stripping the innocence of this beauti- ful creation. Before long, things were heated up and we were exchanging sex fluid in quite a fervent manner, when all of a sudden she bit me on the neck. Now I knew there were no such things as vampires so I simply let it pass, but the feeling was too incredible to ig- nore. She kept her lips there for quite some time, saliva dripping down onto my shoulder. It felt like there was electricity flowing through my body just pouring through my veins, in short it was incredible, and with that I did in 10 minutes what it would take me 1 month and 10 more girls to do.

Well, that was where things started

changing. I was waking up late for school, I lost my appetite quite often and i always seemed unorganized and disoriented, but that was alright, I was the team captain, all-star quarter- back right? I was still number one. Joe walked up to me during my free period and asked, "Hey, whereve you been lately? Ever since that night with that..that new girl, we havent seen you except in school.

"Thats NONE of your business" I piped

back, harsher than I normally would. What I did in my spare time was nobodys business, and i stress nobodys" I turned around and headed toward my math class.

"Be that way," Joe added, in tones

that I could perceive as hurt and anguish, "see if I care." With that, he too turned and walked away.

The rest of the day, I couldnt wait

to get home. I never saw that girl again, not even in school, but I didnt mind anymore, all I wanted to do was get home and read some new computer books I made my mom buy me and then fiddle around with my Apple e. Ah, school was out, I rushed home and started playing some rad games such as Choplifter and Montezumas Revenge. What a blast! My mom was getting concerned that I was getting hooked and my father seemed dissappointed that I wasnt show- ing any enthusiasm for football anymore I thought theyd be happy for me, but they just couldnt understand…noone could understand, so I bought a new lock for my door and that quieted thing s down a little. Later that night, a full moon began to show itself in the sky. "Mom," I screamed, "Here! Take this key and dont let me out of my room until morn- ing, no matter what you hear!!!" My mother, quite shocked and worried merely nodded her head in confirmation. I ran up to my room and waited as she locked me in. Suddenly, I could feel myself transforming. Oh it was so horrible, I couldnt bear the pain, rejection and humiliation I was feeling while transforming. I looked in the mirror. I almost fainted. There, staring back at me, was a medium-sized, spindly, geek with greasy hair, a high brainy forehead, a pair of the worst looking glasses and a scar from a leech on his left cheek. "This CANT be ME," I thought, praying that I was right. I screamed and pounded and screamed some more and pounded some more as I could hear my mother begging me to let her open up with the key. I withheld my frustration so she would leave. She did, finally. In my state of shock, I turned and came face to face with my computer. Warmth and a feeling of love swept through my heart, not unlike the feeling I felt when I first met that girl outside of the gym. I rubbed my fingers across the keys and without a moments hesitation, I knew what I had to do. After I set up my Hayes Micromodem ][, a modem that all K00l sysops hate, I called up every BBS in the nation and set up accts on all of the ones that had AE running. After I was through with that, I called up all of the No PW AEs I could find and downloaded everything whether I needed it or not. This was great! It was 4am and I had already filled 50 disks! Around 6am I felt a change taking place once more but I managed to maintain. I tried to call a BBS for some reason, silly me, and I found that I liked it, although not as much as Downloading. I posted something on every message base even if I didnt have something to say. What a grand old time I was having. I started to wonder how I could have ever overlooked something as much fun as this in life. It was now 730am and I was very sleepy, and before I knew it I was fast asleep. "Time to wake up." my mother said in her sweet voice. Disks were strewn all over the room and papers and index cards with thousands of numbers were all in various parts of my desk, what a mess. "Son, I want you to know that what happened last night was fine with your father and I. We realize that you face constant pressures each day and that some time you were going to have to release." If she only knew how much I wanted to tell her to fuck off, I released every night with a different girl, and speaking of that I couldnt figure out which girl I had last night. And why was all this mess in my room? Well, my mother, as usual, began to clean it up, but I kept a very close eye on her. I was very nervous about the way she was picking things up and I cringed with each disk she touched. That day at school Joe came up to me again. "You know," he said, "theres something wrong with you buster and Im sick of putting up with your shitty attitude towards me" Before I could say anything he was gone. Things seemed strange, not as many girls had been smiling at me as of late, and I even noticed people whispering while looking at me, as if Id done something wrong. "What is it with you guys?!?" I yelled. By now, everyone in the hallway was staring at me" "Nothing." said one girl that I used to date, "Whats wrong with YOU?" I kind of thought about that for a second and realized that she was obviously wrong in assuming that something was wrong with me so I told her to go fuck herself, grabbed my books and headed out the front doors. I hopped into my car with all the latest m0dz and I was off to the house to play with my com- puter. That was all I needed, I didnt need anyone or anything else. My mother greeted me at the door. "Principle Farber just called" she said "He says you were caught drawing pictures of computers on the bathroom wall and signing it K-K00l Rad D00d" is this true?" she asked. "Yes mom, but I didnt mean it, I just wasnt thinking" and I meant that, I really couldnt remember why I did it, but what was done was done…and hey, I sort of enjoyed it. "Well please please please, dont get caught doing that again? Your father and I are still trying to be patient, we understand" "Ok, fine" I replied. "just lock me in my room now and leave me alone" With a look of despair my mom did as I told her. I hopped on my e after I set up the c I bought on my way home from school. I set them up with AE and began transferring with the e and called some BBS with the c. After I posted about 400 messages depicting what a K-k00l K-Rad N0n-r0deNt D00d I was I stopped calling BBS and had my c also download from AEs. The thirst for warez was growing stronger and stronger, ever unquenchable. I made sure that they were both transferring properly and then I slipped out my window into the still night air.

After running as fast as my scrawny

legs could carry me, I reached the local computer store. I had read many files on how to break into stores by the Metallian and had no problems at all. I stepped into the store. My heart pounded and I literally shot a load right in my pants. Wares here! Wares there! Wares Wares everywhere! I grabbed as many wares as I could and threw them into a sack along with a whole bunch of modems, all kinds, even kinds i couldnt use. They were stil pretty to look at, you know. With my booty in hand I headed home to set my modems up as permanent fixtures in my room, bookends, lightstands etc. Boy, was my other self going to be surprised the next morning.

 This went on for weeks. My greed and

lust for wares and modems grew stronger with each passing day, until one night while pilfering a computer store 900 miles away, I tripped an alarm. Appar- antly this alarm was not covered in the text file. I clutched my bag of wares and modems and ran up the stairs to the top of the building, hoping to find a ladder down the side on which i could make a quiet exit. No ladder. "Oh shit" i thought. Just as I was heading back inside to use a more obvious exit, the store was surrounded by a swarm of police cars and SWAT members. Like I said, Id been doing this for weeks and it had really made the papers so most places were ready. My love for wares was so great that I would have done anything to get out of there so back up to the roof it was.

 Looking down upon the police made me

feel like a king, like I could squish them if i pleased. I grabbed a handful of modems and wares and threw my hands up in the air in a desperate attempt to scare them off. However, they must have been getting paid enough because they held their ground, either that or they were mad because they wanted the latest in modems and I had them all. One of the policemen, most likely a rookie, mistook one of the modems for a Smith and Wesson and before I could say Hayes there was a well placed bull et entering my stomach. Still clutch- ing the wares and modems, I reached down to see if that crimson stain on my shirt was just ketchup. It was not. I screamed some more, but due to the loss of blood I could not hold up, and so I began to fall..never letting go of my prizes mind you. I hit the concrete, concrete sounds worse than pavement or earth, with a earthshaking 'thud'. Everything went black.

 Well, needless to say, I didnt die

or I wouldnt be here to tell you this story, but somehow that bullet rico- cheted off a rib and went through my brain and I dont know how, but the doctors say it cured me. The police held a full-scale investigation and told me everything that happened. Joe came up to visit me every day, but he still never saw that girl again. Where did she go? Oh well, Im sure she had nothing to do with it. Well, every- things fine now with one exception: Im a vegetable but Im lucky enough to be kept alive by a medical computer. Ah what bliss…..

!@#$@^&!%$*@&%~`\][\[`||{|{``~|{~~%$$** (&& `!@ ~~& This long-winded story was *`/ written by: ({# &$<

~- The Sheister #@!

&!) {]\ (&*#@%$*&|}{\]\[/.,<>«>~`":(*&)&)&)%$^

Next To Come:

How To Write A T-file
 which will be much better than this

because, of course, Ill be following my own method.

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