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 Yep, just when you thought it was safe! (Oh the horror of it all) MORE 
 ARGUS HACKERS!! yay. Anyway, here's the talk me and Mr. hacker had */
 Disclaimer: This is nowhere near as funny as mine and Kingpin's first
             Argus hacker installment was. But some of it is funny. 
             Just check out some of his blatant lies.
 L  = Him (His handle was 'Loop' for anyone else who wants to torment him)
 CM = Me

P.S. - I hope you all like the C-style comments :) /* */


CM: lo

L: Hi

CM: well, you're a hacker?

L: WHo told you?

CM: haha…it's in your registry /* his stupidity already showing */

L: It is???? /* No, I imagined it..duh! */

CM: yep…it says you like to 'hack and phreak' /* gave me goosebumps..NOT! */

L: ooh shit, I have to change that before someone else sees it

 /* yeah, like his friends and they laugh him out of town */

CM: hahaha….so, are you though?

L: Well, I must learn about yourself first…

/* he stopped typing for a minute or two here so: */

CM: are you alive?

L: st /* must be some funky hacker code! hah */

CM: hello?

L: , before I go spilling my stuff

L: HHHuhsufhusdfhu

L: fgh L: hf L: g L: f CM: H CM: e CM: ,llo?

L: what the hell wa

 /* that was your modem getting sick of all the bullshit you're saying */

L: Hello

CM: lo

CM: what was that?

L: Wow…. something just got fucked…. anyway…..

CM: shit…hold on…I'll brb

/* I exited chat for a few here… */


…Okay, exiting chat… * From Loop: Hi * From Loop: hi :chat loop Ok, Loop has been notified of your request to chat. :* Loop has accepted your request to chat! * Chat Mode Activated *** WARNING - DO NOT type your PASSWORD at any time while in chat mode!!! Type 'X' on a blank line to exit.

CM: lo!

L: Hi

CM: So, what would you like to know?

L: huh??? Me like to know?

CM: yeah….I asked if you were a hacker and you said you have to know more

  about myself first.

/* I think maybe he is gay */

L: Well then,, go ahead.

CM: what do you want to know?

L: Age, Location, ummmm. Where do you call up. (BBSes) /* Really? I thought

                                                        you meant pizza
                                                        places!! */

CM: 23, South Boston, ATDT, Plan 9, The internet

L: What's your int. address

CM: and

L: What the fuck? /* he gets what he asks for and then doesn't know what it

                   is?? */

CM: those are my two internet addresses.

  /* I actually wanted to say fuck off, bozo and log him off */

L: ooh. It looked a bit long /* his glasses are all steamed up from viewing

                              the X-rated GIFs and he can't see well */

CM: didn't you see the 'and' ?

L: I've got crazy ln tonight

CM: what???

L: line noise

CM: oh…duh…anyway, so, you're a hacker, no?

L: sort of

CM: what have you hacked?

L: Well, most MBBS s are easy once you've done one.

/* right around here I started getting nervous from being in the presence of

 this Jesse James of the hacking world. YEAH RIGHT. */

CM: I see….so is MBBS all you hack?

NO! There are local switches, and my favorite international one in the bahamas

/* I have no idea what he is babbling about */

CM: uh, I'm not sure what you're talking about…but anyway, what else have you hacked?

L: Not all hackers are by themselves! I hack and phreak with my friends.

/* still hasn't answered my question. Perhaps he is lobotomized… */

CM: cool. is there a group name?

L: We havent come up with one for some stupid reasons

/* and that stupid reason is that the group doesn't exist */

CM: interesting….so, how do you phreak?

L: Boxes, mfers, switches you kknow

CM: boxes? /* play dumb */

L: Blue boxes, black boxes…..

CM: black boxes? do they still work?

L: In some places

CM: oic….so, what boards are you on?


/* was on HoG? I must've deleted this dickwad when I was RemOp */

CM: kill it! /* hurry, it's your mother! */

L: done /* good now if I can only get him to kill himself */

CM: good….now, what boards are you on?

L: I was onn HHoG, (It was raided) Now, on zopperdot, here just to talk,

 and other fa ffar awway onnnes.

/* zapperdot. non existant as far as I am concerned. Anyone else hear of it?

 HoG. Raided. That's pretty funny. I just called five minutes ago */

CM: cool….too bad about HoG though….I've never heard of it/never called

  there...what did they have online? 

L: Everything Someone llike me would want.

/* roundabout answers mean only thing: person giving them doesn't know jack

 shit */

CM: interesting…and what is that? Oh, and do you know of any local groups around here?

L: UGG's? /* fucking girl scouts, dickhead…what do you think? */

CM: excuse me?

L: User groups?

CM: no, uh, well, you know: h/p groups or anything…

L: Hacks don't use those /* don't use them? how do you use a group? */

CM: I thought there were some groups around here?

L: Well, BBSes /* No, loser. groups. not BBSes. */

CM: no, I mean groups of hackers….and they all go by a certain name….

L: One question: Whhy are you so interested

 /* talking to imeciles always makes my day */

CM: because it is a fascinating subject….and I am writing a story on it…

L: Maybe I shoould stop then

CM: why?

L: WRITING A STORY! /* the amazement of using his brain just hit him */

CM: yeah, so? it's not like I have your real name or anything…

L: Well, we have reputationss behing our handles

/* reputation? what is his hacking handle? ? */

CM: uh huh…and what is the reputation behind yours? Is 'loop' your h/p

  handle or just the one you use here?

/* loop…hmm…maybe he's just going around in circles! haha */

L: MMany have a few handles

CM: so, what is yours?

L: I told you, we have reps.!

CM: so what? how will telling me your handle ruin your rep?

L: If I was caught spilling?

CM: you're not spilling anything to anyone…

L: So, why else besidess a story, for youur own biis?

CM: biis?

L: business..

CM: of course

L: Why u want 2 knoww?

CM: plain old curiousity.,..

L: Curiosity killss

/* ooh! a philosopher too! */

CM: yeah, well, I have 9 lives

L: Whatt are you, a fucking cat?

CM: absolutely

L: crazy mfer

CM: and proud of it….so, are you going to answer me?

L: Try a null characteer

/* try a intelligent response */

CM: haha……what are you so hesitant about?

L: Thosse feds will kill ya

/* oh no. I'm a fed again. Kingpin, get over here! Time For Joe Fed! hah */

CM: hey, Jr, I'm not a fed

L: JR??????? NO WAY!

/* uh oh…an upset little kid..oh no */

CM: yeah, Jr.

L: OK, senior.

CM: ahh…a humorous hacker…how lovely….so, tell me more? I have some

  things here and I don't know what they stand of them is 
  INC...and another is LOD...and RDT....what the hell are those?

/* I have a better chance at correct answers if I ask one of the wino's

 downtown */

L: Are you kidding??????

CM: No, I don't know what they stand for…

L: c= The C programming lingua

/* lingua? He must be Spanish…did I ask about C? */

L: lod=Legion of Doom L: RDT= You should know! /* which means you don't */

CM: No, I don't know…do you? And what is INC?

L: Ooh please!

CM: well??

L: inc!

CM: yeah? is?

L: Go buy a book

/* so you can borrow it right? */

CM: what book?

L: Something like the computer dictionary of terms

/* yeah..lesse…page 874…yup! INC. International Network Of Crackers.

 Sure...uh huh... */

CM: why won't you just answer me?

L: It's a waste of time

/* I'd tell you but I forgot how to spell 'crackers' !! */

CM: but you answered LOD…

/* hell, my mother know what LOD stands for… */

L: Diddn't you know?????!!!

CM: NO!!!! why would I ask if I knew???

L: mmmmmm. I dunno. Theen whhhattt do you thinkk a null character is??!!

CM: a null character? an empty one?

L: what?

CM: nevermind….what does INC stand for? and RDT?

L: JUST GT A BOOK AAND READ YOUR BRAINS OUT! /* or blow yours out */

CM: don't you know?

L: YEES! /* NOO! */

CM: then tell me!

L: No

CM: you don't know!

L: There aree 2 basiic meaningngs of both. I'll tell you first meaning

/* which is the only one my feeble brain knows */

CM: go for it

L: fort?

CM: what?

L: nm…

L: ininiinnc. is abb. for an incorperation, and the othther, rdt is a

 terrrmmmm for reccceiving dataa trransmittion 

/* this is classic….a stuttering typist… */

CM: yeah, but, what are the other meanings???

L: I can't say

CM: yes you can!

L: Let me cacall back foor a better line

CM: welp, I know you're probably not going to call back…ttyl! /* doubtful */

L: i will /* I hope not */

CM: ok /* go die */

/* Here we exited chat and I logged off. When I came back he was not there

 but he left me email telling me how much of a loss it was of mine to have
 missed him. For some reason I don't think I really missed much */
                      Criminal Minded <tm>
                      Genetic Mutation


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