29672 Bytes Greetings from "German Milk Marketing Board" Hamburg
/* ———- "The Complete Guide to Cows – Novem" ———- */
- -=⇒> THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS «==–
as you've NEVER seen them before!
________________________ (__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION * (oo) ( November 1989 Version! ) /-------\/ --'\________________________/ * WORLDWIDE DISTRIBUTION *
/ | || * ||—-|| Edited by Eric W. Tilenius
Please send your submissions to: Cow ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU // ewtileni@pucc.BITNET
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(__) (__) (__) (__) (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | || * ||—-|| * ||W—|| * ||w—|| * ||V—||
Cow Cow laden Same cow Nancy Reagan-type with milk after milking cow with milk
(___) (___) * (___) (___) (o o) (o o) \ (o o) (o o) /-------\ / /-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\ /
/ | ||O / | ||O | ||O / | #>-+|O * ||,—|| * ||@\–|| ||,—|| * ||,—-|
Bull Same bull after Rotc bull after Red-blooded American Bull seeing above cow seeing other bull shooting the Rotc bull
(__) (__) (__) (__) (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) /-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | || * ||—-|| * \ |||/)|/()( \/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\
Cow munching Grass munching Cow in water Cow in trouble on grass on cow
(__) (__) * (__) * (__) (oo) (oo) \ (oo) | (oo) /--------\/ /-oooooo-\/ \-------\/ \-------\/
* o| || * ooooooooo o o| || / ||
||----|| ooooooooooooo ||----||>==/-----||
ooo ooooooooooooooooo
Cow taking Cow in deep Cow getting the shit a shit shit kicked out of her
(__) (oo) U /-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |–| . * ||—-||
Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters.
(__) )__( vv vv (oo) (oo) ||----|| * /-------\/ *-------\/ || | /
/ | || / | || /\——-/ * ||—-|| / ||—-|| (oo)
vv vv ()
American Cow Polish Cow Australian Cow
(__) (__) (__) (oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo) /-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/
/ | || / | || /| || * ||—-|| * ||_-|| * ||_-||
Freshman Cow at Freshman Cow Freshman Cow start of school After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20"
(__) (__) (__) (OO) (@@) (xx) /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash
psychadelic mushrooms down psychadelic mushrooms
/\ __ / \ || (__) (__) \ / (_||_) SooS (oo) \/ (oo) /------S\/S /-------\/ /S /-------\/ / | || / | || / S / | || * ||----|| * ||----||___/ S * ||----|| This cow belonged Ben Franklin owned Abe Lincoln's to George Washington this cow cow
(__) * (__) (oo) \ (oo) /------\/ \-------\/ /| |/ | | ==$ || / | [) || ||----|| * ||----|| Old "One Arm" belonged This cow was given to to Ceasar's Palace Hugh Hefner for his Birthday
(___) (__) (__) ( O ) (oo) (oo) /-------\ / \/--------\/ / | ||V | | * ||----|| ||------|| The cyclops that Jason and This cow lived with
the Argonauts met had this cow Dr. Doolittle
(__) (__) [##] (@o) /-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__) / | || / | || / | || (oo) * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/
This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to
to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman
(____) (____) (____) (oo ) (o o) ( O O) /-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\ / / || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \/ / || |||| \ | | | | | / || |||| * ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----|||| /\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ This cow belonged This was Salvatore No one was sure whether to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had four legs or eight
O__O \_|_/ (oo) (oo) /-------\/ /-------\/ / | || / | || * ||----|| * ||----|| Cow at Disneyland Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
(__) (__) (oo) (--) /-------\/ /-\/-\ / | || /| |\ * ||----|| | | ============ | |
/ /—-\
/ \ \ * Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale (What a bod, huh guys?)
)\ (__) / \ (oo) Cow swimming at Amityville
(Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)
- () \ (DD) \ /——-\/ |\ / | ||_\_/ \ | \ () * ||—-|
\\|| \(oo)
\||\ \\/ Cow chugging brews and staring at \|| sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale \\ || \\|| \|| / / / / / / / / / / / \\_ / / / / / / / / / / / / \_ / / / / / _______ / /
Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen / / / / | \ / /
/ / / (__)| / / / / / (oo)| / / ( @@@ ) /-------\/ | ( @@ ) (------------) / | ||_| @@ (__) ( *>COUGH<* ) * ||----| @@ (oo) . . . ( *>COUGH<* ) /--UU--\/ (____________) / | || Cow sheltering from English Weather * ||---||
(New) Jersey Cow
O O O O \ \ / / \ \ (__) / (__) \ \ (xx)/ (DD) \ +--------+\// /-------\/ \| | / / | || +--------+
* ||—-||
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
at Gillies in Texas
o o |__| (__) (__) (oo) (oo) =(oo)= oo /-------\/ /-------vv /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
bill bixby bela lugosi boris karloff claude rains male relative cow cow cow cow
x xxxx|xxxx xxxxxxx|xxxxxxx | // (__) // (__) (__) (oo)// (oo)===(oo) /-------\// /-------\/ \/-------\ / | |// / | || || | \ * ||----| * ||----|| ||----|| * Julie Andrews Cow Siamese cows
o o (__) \ / (oo) / \ / _____\/___/ (__) \__/ / /\ / / (oo) _______(oo) / * / /---------\/ /| ___ \/ / ___/ / | x=a(b)|| / | { }|| *----/\ * ||------|| * ||{___}|| / \ ||-----|| / /
Mathematical Television This cow does Disco Cow Cow (That's what comes of (developer of (Cow-thode snorting cow-caine) cow-culus) Ray Tube)
o | [---] | | | | |------========| /----|---|\ | **** |=======| /___/___\___\ o | **** |=======| | | ___| |==============| | | ___ {(__)} |==============| \-----------/ []( )={(oo)} |==============| \ \ / / /---===--{ \/ } | ----------------- / | NASA |==== | | | * ||------||----- ----------------- || | | / / \ \ | / ---- \ This cow jumped over the Moon
(__) ([][]) "I have this recurring dream __\/_--U about golden arches.".. (__) /\ \__ :..("") /\\\ / / //\ ____\_____\/ // /----/__/\ /\ // \\/ \___ / // \\\____/--\-- // /-/__________/ // /====== \/ =======/==============// *_/ / \ / // / \\ / \ // \\
Psycowlogist and patient
(___) \\ (__) (o o) \\\ (oo) \ / *-----\_______\/\/ \--O--/ _______/ --- \______ // -----\ --------\ \S/ /\_____ \\/_{} /==V===[] \______/ \_____\\// \__/ It's a bird... //\\ The Boss It's a plane... // \\ (Bruce Holstien) // //
==================
_ H H | |————-| H () H | | | H (oo) H | COWNTY | | (||) | | H / \/ \ H / \ | JAIL | | |oo| | | H | | | | H | STOP | | | ||\/|| | H D===b=—– H \ / | | o | HH || | | | H H || | | ] | H H || | | | H H || |_|_| H H ||
Some cows get in trouble… Cattle Guard
( ( ) ( ( ) ) ( ( ) ( / )
( (
)
( | // ) | | (__) | | (oo) (__) | | ----\/ ______(oo)_____ | | || ( _)_______(__) ) **| | ---|| \ __________/ ``'--------- Cow Hide Cow Pie
\ | / ___________ ____________ \ \_# / | ___ | _________ | | \ #/ | | | | | = = = = | | | | | | \\# | |`v'| | | | | | \# // | --- ___ | | | || | | | | | | | #_// | | | | | | | | \\ #_/_______ | | | | | | || | | | | | | | \\# /_____/ \ | --- | | | | | \# |+ ++| | | || | | | || | | | | \# |+ ++| | | || | | | || | |
| () |#| H |_ || | |||| | || |
| ( ||| ) | # | | |||| | | | ||||||| | ________/ /_____ | | |||| | | | ||||||| | `v'- | ||||||| | || |`. (__) (__) ( ) (oo) (oo) /---V /-------\/ \/ --------\ * | | / | || ||_______| \ * ||W---|| || || *
"Cow Town"
\ (__) (__) \\(oo) (\/) /-----\\\/ /-------\/ / | (##) / | || * ||----||" * ||----|| This cow plays bagpipes. Cow from Beijing
(__) (__) (__) (\/) ($$) (**) /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | 666 || / |=====|| / | || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
Satanic cow This cow is a Yuppie Cow in love
(__) (__) (oo) (oo) /-'''''-\/ /-------------------\/
/ |'|| / | ||
* ||
|| * ||—————-||
Cow in Argyle Stretch Cow
- * * * * * * / / \ * * \ \ / \ / / () * / / \ \ () \ \ /——–(00) / (00) / / / | |( ) \ /——-\/ \ \ * ||—- ||() / / | || / / || || \ \ * ||—-|| \ \ / / / / Cow Chewing Marbles Cow in Heat (_) (o o) /——\ / () () / O (oo) (oo) | / /—-\—-\/ /——-\/ /\oo===| / || / | || | || *||—–|| * OO—-OO * Cowt in the Act low rider cow () \\ () (oo) o (oo) (oo) /——-\/ \_\/ *+——-\/ / | || / | || |||| * ||—-|| * ||—-|| ||—-|| OO OO OO OO OO OO Detroit cow Mustang cow pickup cow () () \_||_ (oo) (oo) (*||*) /—————\/ /—-\/ /——-\||/ / | || / || / | || * ||————|| *-||—-|| * ||—-|| OO OO OO OO OO }{ li-moo-cow fastback cow teenager's cow () .xxxx. () '(oo)` (oo) /—–'-\/ ` /——-\/ / | |===========⇒ / | || * ||—-| () * ||—-|| Moo-ammar Cowdafi holy cow armed and dangerous (_) (_) (o o) (o o) /——-\ / /——-\ / / | ||O / | O ||O * ||,—|| * ||,—|| A Bull A-bomb-in-a-bull No-bull (—) ( ) /—–\ (_) | | (o o) | | | (—–) \ / | | | / / \ O | * | * | O | —– Coward Phone Bull }{ / Send YOUR cow pictures to \ (00) ( ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU ) : \/ ==='\_/' : # ## #### "" "" | | | | * | | () | | \ () | | (oo) | | \ (oo) | | /——-\/ | | ———–\/– | | / | || | | —-| |— | | * ||—-|| | | ——– | \_ | \_ | _ | _ | / | / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / \ / \ Cow perched on a tree. Cow attempting to fly off tree. | | | | | | | | | | | \_ | _ | / | | | | | | | | | | | | ()
| | *———(..) / \ —-\/
Cow that has failed miserably in the attempt.
. /\ . . : (__) . / \ . . : (xx) / \ . . * : __------\/ / \ * : * ||____|| | (__) | . . ** : / | |\ . /| (oo) |\ ** : / | /\/\ | \ . . * : Hamburger . / |=|==|=| \ . * : . / | | | | \ . : / USA | || |NASA \ . : * (__) |______| |______| . : \ (oo) . (__||__) . . : \-------\/ . /_\ /_\ . . . : 8-| || !!! !!! : ||----|| : The cow that jumped over the moon. : Flying Cow
...---... ../ / | \ \.. ./ / / | \ \ \. / / / | \ \ \ / / / | \ \ \ \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | /(__) \|/ (oo) /---++--\/ / | || || * ||-++-||
Cow surviving attack by Red Baron
..---.. (__) / \ (oo) | RIP | /-------\/ | | / | || | | * ||----|| | | | |
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/
Elvis's Cow... ...Or is it alive and living in tax exile???
(__) (oo) /---+ +--\/ / | | | || * ||-+ +-|| *
David Copperfield's Cow David Copperfield's other Cow
(__) (oo) /-------\/ / | || * ||----|| (__) (__) (oo) (oo) /-------\/ \/-------\ / | || -- || | \ * ||---- -- || * (__) (__) (oo) (oo) /-------\/ \/-------\ / | || || | \ * ||----|| ||----|| * Barnum's Troupe of performing cows
(__) _--------_ (oo) |__________| BIG /-------\/ XXXXXXXXXX MAC / | 007 || __________ * ||----|| |_ _| -------- Cow licenced to kill Enemy Cow after having met previous cow
(__) (oo) /'-m (__) / '' ` ) (oo) o /| /|/|_ | /| / \/ / / _ / | | | | / _\=== ___\_____/___ |_____|_| ___|__/ |/\ (___________(_) //|| || * * ww ww
Mrs. O'Leary's Cow Cow'nt Dracula
|+++++|
++++ | _ |++++| |+++++| |++++| |++ | ++++ | +++++ | ||||||||
++++ | ++/ /( )\ \ | ++++ | +++++ | | | |+| |-oo- | \ | ++++ | +++++ | ++ |
—–()–| \\/ _()_ \ ———————————- o ( oo /_| (oo) \ | | _/\_| | M O O - B U S T E R S|\/\ /| | /oo| - Bleaurgh! |-| \\ —— )_ /| /\
- |_ \_|-_| 0 _| * \/ *
\ | / | W| \ \_/ /—————– \ \_/ / / /\ \ \_/ \_/ / / \ \ Who you gonna call…? () () () (———-)
(00) (-o) (--) . . . ( *>YAWN<* ) /------\/ /------\/ /------\/ (----------)
/| || /| || /| || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
Cow w/ Glasses Flirtatious cow (winking) Cow after pulling an all-nighter
* () () () () \ (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
\-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /| |\ / / \ / \ / / \ \
||—-||
* ——
* \\– * \\—-
Cow walking Cow jogging Same cow Cow breaking
()
(oo) () o * ()
\/ (oo)/ " | (oo)
| \ /——-\/( o=o=o=|——\/
—/ –** / | / | |
*/ |_ * ||—-|| ||—-||
——–/
Cow Cow pooing
Cow marching standing
Side Front Side back (_) Where's all the bulls!
() () () () (O O)/
( oo (oo) oo ) ( ) _/\ /\_
/\_| /\/\ |_/\ / \ \\/ O \
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(_)
( OO
\_ | - Got some cows that aren't in here? Add yours to the official
\O collection! Send them to: ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU
(___)
( –
\_ | - G'nite, and thank you for your support. Zzz z z z z z z z
\O
Thanks to EVERYONE who contributed COWS!
PLEASE DISTRIBUTE THIS FILE WIDELY – IT IS *NOT* COPYRIGHTED.
(Besides, this is a classic that NO ONE should miss!)