29672 Bytes Greetings from "German Milk Marketing Board" Hamburg
/* ———- "The Complete Guide to Cows – Novem" ———- */
- -=⇒> THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS «==–
as you've NEVER seen them before!
________________________
(__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION *
(oo) ( November 1989 Version! )
/-------\/ --'\________________________/ * WORLDWIDE DISTRIBUTION *
/ | || * ||—-|| Edited by Eric W. Tilenius
Please send your submissions to: Cow ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU // ewtileni@pucc.BITNET
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | || * ||—-|| * ||W—|| * ||w—|| * ||V—||
Cow Cow laden Same cow Nancy Reagan-type
with milk after milking cow with milk
(___) (___) * (___) (___)
(o o) (o o) \ (o o) (o o)
/-------\ / /-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\ /
/ | ||O / | ||O | ||O / | #>-+|O * ||,—|| * ||@\–|| ||,—|| * ||,—-|
Bull Same bull after Rotc bull after Red-blooded American Bull
seeing above cow seeing other bull shooting the Rotc bull
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | || * ||—-|| * \ |||/)|/()( \/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\
Cow munching Grass munching Cow in water Cow in trouble on grass on cow
(__) (__) * (__) * (__)
(oo) (oo) \ (oo) | (oo)
/--------\/ /-oooooo-\/ \-------\/ \-------\/
* o| || * ooooooooo o o| || / ||
||----|| ooooooooooooo ||----||>==/-----||
ooo ooooooooooooooooo
Cow taking Cow in deep Cow getting the shit a shit shit kicked out of her
(__)
(oo) U
/-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |–| . * ||—-||
Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters.
(__) )__( vv vv
(oo) (oo) ||----|| *
/-------\/ *-------\/ || | /
/ | || / | || /\——-/ * ||—-|| / ||—-|| (oo)
vv vv ()
American Cow Polish Cow Australian Cow
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo)
/-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/
/ | || / | || /| || * ||—-|| * ||_-|| * ||_-||
Freshman Cow at Freshman Cow Freshman Cow start of school After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20"
(__) (__) (__)
(OO) (@@) (xx)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash
psychadelic mushrooms down psychadelic mushrooms
/\ __
/ \ ||
(__) (__) \ / (_||_)
SooS (oo) \/ (oo)
/------S\/S /-------\/ /S /-------\/
/ | || / | || / S / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||___/ S * ||----||
This cow belonged Ben Franklin owned Abe Lincoln's
to George Washington this cow cow
(__)
* (__) (oo)
\ (oo) /------\/
\-------\/ /| |/ |
| ==$ || / | [) ||
||----|| * ||----||
Old "One Arm" belonged This cow was given to
to Ceasar's Palace Hugh Hefner for his Birthday
(___) (__) (__)
( O ) (oo) (oo)
/-------\ / \/--------\/
/ | ||V | |
* ||----|| ||------||
The cyclops that Jason and This cow lived with
the Argonauts met had this cow Dr. Doolittle
(__) (__)
[##] (@o)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__)
/ | || / | || / | || (oo)
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/
This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to
to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman
(____) (____) (____)
(oo ) (o o) ( O O)
/-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\ /
/ || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \/
/ || |||| \ | | | | | / || ||||
* ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----||||
/\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\
This cow belonged This was Salvatore No one was sure whether
to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had four
legs or eight
O__O \_|_/
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||
Cow at Disneyland Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
(__) (__)
(oo) (--)
/-------\/ /-\/-\
/ | || /| |\
* ||----|| | |
============ | |
/ /—-\
/ \ \
*
Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
(What a bod, huh guys?)
)\ (__)
/ \ (oo)
Cow swimming at Amityville
(Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)
- () \ (DD) \ /——-\/ |\ / | ||_\_/ \ | \ () * ||—-|
\\|| \(oo)
\||\ \\/ Cow chugging brews and staring at
\|| sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
\\ ||
\\||
\||
/ / / / / / / / / / /
\\_ / / / / / / / / / / / /
\_ / / / / / _______ / /
Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen / / / / | \ / /
/ / / (__)| / /
/ / / (oo)| / /
( @@@ ) /-------\/ |
( @@ ) (------------) / | ||_|
@@ (__) ( *>COUGH<* ) * ||----|
@@ (oo) . . . ( *>COUGH<* )
/--UU--\/ (____________)
/ | || Cow sheltering from English Weather
* ||---||
(New) Jersey Cow
O O O O
\ \ / /
\ \ (__) /
(__) \ \ (xx)/
(DD) \ +--------+\//
/-------\/ \| | /
/ | || +--------+
* ||—-||
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
at Gillies in Texas
o o
|__| (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) =(oo)= oo
/-------\/ /-------vv /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
bill bixby bela lugosi boris karloff claude rains male relative cow cow cow cow
x
xxxx|xxxx
xxxxxxx|xxxxxxx
|
//
(__) // (__) (__)
(oo)// (oo)===(oo)
/-------\// /-------\/ \/-------\
/ | |// / | || || | \
* ||----| * ||----|| ||----|| *
Julie Andrews Cow Siamese cows
o o (__)
\ / (oo) /
\ / _____\/___/
(__) \__/ / /\ / /
(oo) _______(oo) / * /
/---------\/ /| ___ \/ / ___/
/ | x=a(b)|| / | { }|| *----/\
* ||------|| * ||{___}|| / \
||-----|| / /
Mathematical Television This cow does Disco
Cow Cow (That's what comes of
(developer of (Cow-thode snorting cow-caine)
cow-culus) Ray Tube)
o
| [---]
| |
| | |------========|
/----|---|\ | **** |=======|
/___/___\___\ o | **** |=======|
| | ___| |==============|
| | ___ {(__)} |==============|
\-----------/ []( )={(oo)} |==============|
\ \ / / /---===--{ \/ } |
----------------- / | NASA |==== |
| | * ||------||-----
----------------- || | |
/ / \ \ |
/ ---- \
This cow jumped over the Moon
(__)
([][]) "I have this recurring dream
__\/_--U about golden arches.".. (__)
/\ \__ :..("")
/\\\ / / //\ ____\_____\/ //
/----/__/\ /\ // \\/ \___ / //
\\\____/--\-- // /-/__________/ //
/====== \/ =======/==============//
*_/ / \ / // / \\
/ \ // \\
Psycowlogist and patient
(___)
\\ (__) (o o)
\\\ (oo) \ /
*-----\_______\/\/ \--O--/
_______/ --- \______ // -----\
--------\ \S/ /\_____ \\/_{} /==V===[]
\______/ \_____\\//
\__/
It's a bird... //\\ The Boss
It's a plane... // \\ (Bruce Holstien)
// //
==================
_ H H | |————-| H () H | | | H (oo) H | COWNTY | | (||) | | H / \/ \ H / \ | JAIL | | |oo| | | H | | | | H | STOP | | | ||\/|| | H D===b=—– H \ / | | o | HH || | | | H H || | | ] | H H || | | | H H || |_|_| H H ||
Some cows get in trouble… Cattle Guard
( ( ) ( ( ) ) ( ( ) ( / )
( (
)
( | // )
| | (__)
| | (oo) (__)
| | ----\/ ______(oo)_____
| | || ( _)_______(__) )
**| | ---|| \ __________/
``'---------
Cow Hide Cow Pie
\ | / ___________ ____________ \ \_# / | ___ | _________ | | \ #/ | | | | | = = = = | | | | | | \\# | |`v'| | | | | | \# // | --- ___ | | | || | | | | | | | #_// | | | | | | | | \\ #_/_______ | | | | | | || | | | | | | | \\# /_____/ \ | --- | | | | | \# |+ ++| | | || | | | || | | | | \# |+ ++| | | || | | | || | |
| () |#| H |_ || | |||| | || |
| ( ||| ) | # | | |||| | | | ||||||| |
________/ /_____ | | |||| | | | ||||||| |
`v'- | ||||||| |
|| |`. (__) (__) ( )
(oo) (oo) /---V
/-------\/ \/ --------\ * | |
/ | || ||_______| \
* ||W---|| || || *
"Cow Town"
\ (__) (__)
\\(oo) (\/)
/-----\\\/ /-------\/
/ | (##) / | ||
* ||----||" * ||----||
This cow plays bagpipes. Cow from Beijing
(__) (__) (__)
(\/) ($$) (**)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | 666 || / |=====|| / | || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
Satanic cow This cow is a Yuppie Cow in love
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-'''''-\/ /-------------------\/
/ |'|| / | ||
* |||| * ||—————-||
Cow in Argyle Stretch Cow
- * * * * * * / / \ * * \ \ / \ / / () * / / \ \ () \ \ /——–(00) / (00) / / / | |( ) \ /——-\/ \ \ * ||—- ||() / / | || / / || || \ \ * ||—-|| \ \ / / / / Cow Chewing Marbles Cow in Heat (_) (o o) /——\ / () () / O (oo) (oo) | / /—-\—-\/ /——-\/ /\oo===| / || / | || | || *||—–|| * OO—-OO * Cowt in the Act low rider cow () \\ () (oo) o (oo) (oo) /——-\/ \_\/ *+——-\/ / | || / | || |||| * ||—-|| * ||—-|| ||—-|| OO OO OO OO OO OO Detroit cow Mustang cow pickup cow () () \_||_ (oo) (oo) (*||*) /—————\/ /—-\/ /——-\||/ / | || / || / | || * ||————|| *-||—-|| * ||—-|| OO OO OO OO OO }{ li-moo-cow fastback cow teenager's cow () .xxxx. () '(oo)` (oo) /—–'-\/ ` /——-\/ / | |===========⇒ / | || * ||—-| () * ||—-|| Moo-ammar Cowdafi holy cow armed and dangerous (_) (_) (o o) (o o) /——-\ / /——-\ / / | ||O / | O ||O * ||,—|| * ||,—|| A Bull A-bomb-in-a-bull No-bull (—) ( ) /—–\ (_) | | (o o) | | | (—–) \ / | | | / / \ O | * | * | O | —– Coward Phone Bull }{ / Send YOUR cow pictures to \ (00) ( ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU ) : \/ ==='\_/' : # ## #### "" "" | | | | * | | () | | \ () | | (oo) | | \ (oo) | | /——-\/ | | ———–\/– | | / | || | | —-| |— | | * ||—-|| | | ——– | \_ | \_ | _ | _ | / | / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / \ / \ Cow perched on a tree. Cow attempting to fly off tree. | | | | | | | | | | | \_ | _ | / | | | | | | | | | | | | ()
| | *———(..) / \ —-\/
Cow that has failed miserably in the attempt.
. /\ . . : (__)
. / \ . . : (xx)
/ \ . . * : __------\/
/ \ * : * ||____||
| (__) | . . ** : / | |\
. /| (oo) |\ ** :
/ | /\/\ | \ . . * : Hamburger
. / |=|==|=| \ . * :
. / | | | | \ . :
/ USA | || |NASA \ . : * (__)
|______| |______| . : \ (oo)
. (__||__) . . : \-------\/
. /_\ /_\ . . . : 8-| ||
!!! !!! : ||----||
:
The cow that jumped over the moon. : Flying Cow
...---...
../ / | \ \..
./ / / | \ \ \.
/ / / | \ \ \
/ / / | \ \ \
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /(__)
\|/ (oo)
/---++--\/
/ | || ||
* ||-++-||
Cow surviving attack by Red Baron
..---.. (__)
/ \ (oo)
| RIP | /-------\/
| | / | ||
| | * ||----||
| |
| |
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/
Elvis's Cow... ...Or is it alive and living in tax exile???
(__)
(oo)
/---+ +--\/
/ | | | ||
* ||-+ +-||
*
David Copperfield's Cow David Copperfield's other Cow
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ \/-------\
/ | || -- || | \
* ||---- -- || *
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ \/-------\
/ | || || | \
* ||----|| ||----|| *
Barnum's Troupe of performing cows
(__) _--------_
(oo) |__________| BIG
/-------\/ XXXXXXXXXX MAC
/ | 007 || __________
* ||----|| |_ _|
--------
Cow licenced to kill Enemy Cow after having met previous cow
(__)
(oo)
/'-m
(__) / '' ` )
(oo) o /| /|/|_ | /|
/ \/ / / _ / | | | |
/ _\=== ___\_____/___ |_____|_|
___|__/ |/\ (___________(_) //|| ||
* * ww ww
Mrs. O'Leary's Cow Cow'nt Dracula
|+++++|
| ++++ | _ |++++| |+++++| |++++| |++ | ++++ | +++++ | ||||||||
| ++++ | ++/ /( )\ \ | ++++ | +++++ | | | |+| |-oo- | \ | ++++ | +++++ | ++ |
—–()–| \\/ _()_ \ ———————————- o ( oo /_| (oo) \ | | _/\_| | M O O - B U S T E R S|\/\ /| | /oo| - Bleaurgh! |-| \\ —— )_ /| /\
- |_ \_|-_| 0 _| * \/ *
\ | / | W| \ \_/ /—————– \ \_/ / / /\ \ \_/ \_/ / / \ \ Who you gonna call…? () () () (———-)
(00) (-o) (--) . . . ( *>YAWN<* ) /------\/ /------\/ /------\/ (----------)
/| || /| || /| || * ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
Cow w/ Glasses Flirtatious cow (winking) Cow after pulling an all-nighter
* () () () () \ (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
\-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /| |\ / / \ / \ / / \ \
||—-||
* ——
* \\– * \\—-
Cow walking Cow jogging Same cow Cow breaking
()
(oo) () o * ()
\/ (oo)/ " | (oo)
| \ /——-\/( o=o=o=|——\/
—/ –** / | / | |
*/ |_ * ||—-|| ||—-||
——–/
Cow Cow pooing
Cow marching standing
Side Front Side back (_) Where's all the bulls!
() () () () (O O)/
( oo (oo) oo ) ( ) _/\ /\_
/\_| /\/\ |_/\ / \ \\/ O \
——————————————————————————
(_)
( OO
\_ | - Got some cows that aren't in here? Add yours to the official
\O collection! Send them to: ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU
(___)
( –
\_ | - G'nite, and thank you for your support. Zzz z z z z z z z
\O
Thanks to EVERYONE who contributed COWS!
PLEASE DISTRIBUTE THIS FILE WIDELY – IT IS *NOT* COPYRIGHTED.
(Besides, this is a classic that NO ONE should miss!)